Another World
by Sora no Kioku
Summary: Yaoi. Roxas hides dark secrets about his abusive boyfriend, too afraid to tell anybody. But the abuse hasn't gotten out of hand. Yet. But when the abuse does get out of hand, who can he turn to without being looked down upon?
1. One Step Closer

Wake up. Go to school. Come home. Do homework. Go to bed. Wake up again the next morning. That's my life for you. Just like everybody's life, it's an endless circle, never seeming to end. It's never broken and never failed. It's been this way for years now; ever since I can remember. But I'm not complaining; I like it this way. Nothing ever changes too much, so I can focus on what's important instead of the small stuff. But after my fifteenth birthday, everything seemed to change. I've been having these strange dreams. I have no idea what they're about. All I know is that I'm in a virtual town. I'm being lied to constantly, the only one not lying to me being this red-haired guy. But thing is, this same guy goes to my school, Twilight Academy. But this time… it's not a dream. Or at least I don't think it is… Is it?

It happened so fast. I barely know what was happening… Everything was practically just a blur; these past few days. In the last six days left of summer, I managed to fight this weird white thing, meet Naminé again, realize that the whole town and my life was fake, fall off a clock tower, and so much more. Even I can't remember everything that had happened. And don't get me wrong; I have a great memory. But it just seems like my whole life just won't come to me anymore. The life in Twilight Town, I mean. Everything I remember is of a land outside of this town, far away from here.

And suddenly…I don't know myself at all. I don't know who I am, why I exist, who my real friends are, nothing. I feel empty, as if there's nothing left to live for anymore. Even my so-called "friends" don't even see me anymore. Hayner even passed right through me as if I weren't there… I wasn't there; at all. I just… don't know. Maybe I wasn't supposed to belong after all. I began to doubt myself and my existence. Even the town's existence I began to doubt.

A few days before the last day of summer, I began to shut myself out from my friends because of everything that has happened to me. They couldn't see what was happening. I was the only one who could. I felt alone. I have never felt so alone and singled out before in my life. It seems that everyone's out to get me and I'm not one to be paranoid. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of a large, white egg. Inside, I knew was a boy; a boy around my age. His name was Sora, someone I had never met before in my life as a Nobody. But somehow, I felt like I knew him. Not just his name, but _knew_ him as if I had lived his life.

I couldn't help but to just stare up in awe. The feeling was… it was just horrible; the feeling that I would never be able to move again; the feeling that I would always be trapped, never to be free. But it wasn't an emotion. It didn't feel like it. It felt like part of my mind was just screaming at me, telling me to get out of there; telling me that I would never live _my_ life again. I would live _his_ life. And I would have no say in the matter. That feeling… was just the most saddening thing I could possibly think of. I would never see anyone as… me; ever again. And that… it made me sad almost… But I don't feel; I can't feel at all. I'm void of all emotion. Still, as I looked up at the sleeping brunette inside of that egg, I couldn't help but feel a pang of loneliness and despair.

And though I hated myself of it, the only thing that I could say as I looked up at Sora was "Looks like my summer vacation is… over…" I had no other words. I could hardly speak. But what happened after that… I would never expect. I thought that I would surrender peacefully, but I guess somebody had… _other_ plans for me.

At first, I felt nothing. I only let out a small grunt and stumbled forward, my hand instantly holding my stomach. I didn't even notice the sharp metal spike protruding from it. A warm crimson liquid seeped through my shirt and onto my fingers, dripping onto the pure white floor, tainting it. I pulled my hand away, my focus fading in and out as my breath became more forced. _Then_ the pain came. I let out a scream of agony and fell to my knees, falling forward only to have my right hand reach out to support me. I clenched my teeth tightly as I closed my eyes, my whole body shaking. I coughed a few times, the pain coming even more and more to the point where I could hardly stand it. It felt as if my body had been ripped in half.

I let out a weak cry as something slid out of my body before I fell to the floor completely; curling up though it hurt to even do that. I shook in pain, tears pouring out of my eyes as I lay partially spread out, lying slightly on my side. I forced my eyes open, my vision blurring then focusing only to start a small cycle. I couldn't tell who was standing a few feet away from me; all I could see where black boots. I closed my eyes and coughed, feeling a coppery-tasting liquid coming up as well. I didn't need to open my eyes to see what it was; I knew by the taste. I forced my eye open once more, clenching my teeth as I saw who it was. There, next to me, was a tall lanky figure with spiky red hair, two circular objects by his side. One was covered in blood; _my_ blood.

He dismissed his chakrams before slowly strode over to me calmly, crouching down in the pool of warm liquid, not caring that it soaked into his cloak. His emerald eyes looked into my blue ones, examining. They held no emotions, though this seemed to be a mask. I didn't know how, but I could see that deep within, there was an unbearable sorrow and regret. I flinched when he reached out and stroked my bangs. "I'm sorry, Roxas," he spoke, his voice filled with sweet sorrow, though he still showed no signs of such emotion. He sighed softly, the soft sigh fluttering across my face. He closed his eyes for much longer than a standard blink as he continued to stroke my hair. No matter how much I wanted to swat it away, I couldn't. He opened his eyes once more when he pulled his hand away, finally showing signs of regret. "I can't go against my orders."

With that said, he stood up. I watched in horror and anger as he summoned his chakrams once more. He looked down at me with cold eyes before he swung one of them down towards me. I could only close my eyes as tightly as I could, my breath hitching. I could merely just lay there and wait, wait for the chakram to come in contact with my neck.

I quickly sat up in bed, breathing heavily. Sweat ran down my forehead and matted my bangs to my forehead, the comforter tightly in my hands. I struggled to breathe, my eyes wide and my pupils dilated. I took ragged, uneven breaths that echoed throughout my otherwise silent room. My eyes quickly darted this way and that, my head turning with them. I soon found out that I was safe in my room; I was safe. I calmed down as quickly as I could before falling back on my pillow, not caring that the covers only covered half of my body now. It was a dream… Just another dream. But this one… This one seemed so real, as if I really did go through all that.

I let out a deep sigh and closed my eyes; the back of my left hand on my forehead. I lay there for a moment. I didn't want to move. I felt too weak to do so despite how much sleep I had gotten. However, it didn't last; I knew it wouldn't. I heard the door open then footsteps walk over to my bed. I opened my eyes to see my brother leaning over me, examining my face. "What do you want?" I asked in almost a sour tone, though that was only just my morning attitude coming into play now that I was calm and no longer scared to death.

The brunette smiled brightly at me, something he usually did. Wait… he was awake? Just how late was it? Usually I was the one who woke up before he did… I sat up, pushing him out of the way. Of course, I didn't push him hard, but he still backed up for he knew exactly what I needed to do. It was that twin telepathy thing we had going on almost all the time. Before I could even glance at the clock, he spoke up.

"You were having a nightmare. I couldn't sleep. I've been awake since five this morning 'cause I was afraid to see what you were dreaming of," he said. Well, that made sense… He would always know how bad my dream was and sometimes, the nightmare would be transferred to him in turn. So we would dream of the exact same thing, but our places would be switched. No matter what, the both of us were always in the dream; it never failed.

I sighed then got out of bed, wearing nothing but sweat pants. I gave him a stern look. "Good. Never go to sleep when I'm having my nightmares. You know how bad they get now," I said, pointing a finger at him as if I were lecturing him. I then smiled and punched him softly on the arm before walking over to the door. "Now c'mon, Dufus. Let's not linger on the topic for long. I'll tell you everything about it once I'm able to sort it all that," I added before walking out of the room.

I heard the soft padding of footsteps against the wooden floor, but I knew it was just my brother following me. I came to the stairs and walked down, one hand on the handrail as I found myself on the outer part of the living room, the dining room right next to me. I trailed my fingertips along the wall gently as I made my way through the dining room and into the kitchen. I knew exactly where I was going, though I knew my brother had no idea where he was going. But then again, when did he?

I ignored my thoughts, knowing very well that my brother could read my mind – literally. He always knew what I was thinking, no matter what; even if I tried to hide it. It was like he could just tap into my mind and read my thoughts right as I thought them. I continued to the fridge, once again shoving my thoughts aside. I opened it and crouched, my eyes searching for anything edible. Sure, there were a lot of things I could eat, but would I? Of course not. Almost everything in here was ingredients for dinner or random snacks my mom loved to make. Speaking of my mother, here she comes…

"Don't forget, hunny, you have school tomorrow," he spoke. Oh yes… School… Oh how I adored school. Not. I hated it completely. Everything about it, I hated; the teachers, the students, the packed hallways, the books, the homework, everything. I couldn't stand it. How could anybody love school? No. Scratch that. _Who_ could ever love school? Oh. That's right; Sora.

Sora loved school. Unlike me, he absolutely adores school. But that's only because he can see his friends during lunch and because he's so damn popular! We may be twins, but that doesn't mean that we have the same social status. He was popular; loved among all. I was the emo, angsty brat; picked on by all. Hey; it's not my fault Bruce started those stupid rumors about me being gay! Just because of that, I became the school's punching bag. Hell, even Kairi scratches me when nobody's looking! And nobody believes me. "She's a little angel." 'Little angel' my ass.

There was only one person that never even came close to hurting me, the only person who actually _helped_ me when the others turned away. But I'm not gonna tell you at this moment. Right now, I might want to answer my mom before she gets on my back about it. Though, instead of speaking, I made this small grunting noise that showed anyone that heard it that I wasn't particularly happy. Damn Bruce and his-

"Roxas is thinking bad thoughts again!"

Oh hell… Why do I even bother with thinking? I should just kill myself now and get it over with to avoid all this torture and- Ow! That hurt! I glared up at my mother, holding my head where she had hit me. Let's just say this; _never_ glare at your mother! She will hit you ten times harder! And she did just that. I let out a yelp as I was hit on the head – again. I stood up quickly, but the back of my head just so happened to find the open freezer door. Wait… That thing was open? Since when? Nobody ever tells me these things!

I let out a small grunt and sunk down slowly. Of course, like every mother I know, the woman standing next to me went from angry to completely caring in 0.052 seconds. Yes, that fast. You did not read that wrong; 0.052 seconds flat. God, I can never understand women, let alone girls… How could they change that quickly?! Anyway, she went from glaring daggers at me to hovering over me and kissing my head and asking if I was okay. Of course, I just waved my hand dismissively and said "Yes, yes, I'm fi- OW! God Damnit, Sora!" only to have another hit on my head. Hey! He stepped on my toe! It wasn't fair that I get hit for yelling at him for stepping on my toe! He's the one with shoes on!

Ok, yeah… I like my dream world way better than there. At least I'm killed and I don't have to put up with this kind of torture. I sighed and closed the fridge as I CAREFULLY stood up so that I didn't hit my head on the freezer door. Luckily, no freezer door came flying out at me. Spoke too soon… I soon found a freezer door shoved in my face. And of course, it was opened by none only than my twin brother, Sora. Damn, this family must hate me or something… Or maybe it's just a bad day. I'm pretty sure I have never been hit that much before in my life.

I grumbled and pushed the freezer door away from me a bit so that it didn't hit anybody anymore and quickly walked out of the kitchen before a kitchen knife could even _begin_ to fly towards my head or any other body part of mine. I gulped as a kitchen knife came flying at my head and implanted itself into the wall RIGHT next to my head. I could see the reflection of ONLY my eye on the blade! Ok, yeah… if I stepped forward not even an inch, I'd be pretty much dead right now. I slowly turned my head to my mother, who was looking around for the knife.

Finally, her eyes laid on me and looked from the knife to me then to the knife again. She barely had to move her eyes. Yeah; the knife was _that_ close to embedding into my head and _not _the wall. I'm just glad it was the latter. She soon ran up to me, but instead of giving me comforting words, she took the knife out of the wall and walked back to the kitchen. "Sorry, Roxas. It was stuck and wouldn't come out. So I tugged as hard as I could and it slipped out of my hands," she said.

Yeah… Comforting words… I merely rolled my eyes and quickly ran upstairs. Luckily, I didn't trip over my own feet or a random stair. As I slammed the door closed, I knew that I was safe and sound in my room; nobody was going to come and kill me. I sighed then walked over to my bed, falling down onto it. I buried my face into my pillow and just lay there for a moment, listening to the cicadas' calls through the open window. Wait… Open? I left it open?

I lifted my head and sat up, crawling along my bed until I was at my open window. It wasn't that far, though, so I just barely moved. I looked out and around at the streets, but saw no sign of anybody climbing up the tree next to my window. I shrugged and pulled it closed before sitting back and just staring out it. I heard a noise behind me and I instantly turned only to feel lips collide into mine. I didn't need to examine the face so close to mine; I knew those lips too well. Ok, so maybe Bruce was right with the rumor… I am gay. But not completely! Only for one person!

So it was only natural for me to wrap my arms around him and pull him closer as he backed me up against the corner. My eyes slid closed as he reached up to put his hand on the back of my neck. It no longer sent shivers down my spine when his tongue ran along my bottom lip; I was used to it. And every time I would feel that, I would part my lips to accept the invite, like I did just now. We never let it get too far, though his hand would always find its way underneath my shirt to caress my chest. Though because I didn't have a shirt on, he already had access to my chest and his hand roamed freely and without hesitation.

But this time, things were different… He broke the kiss and instead of opening his eyes and just looking at me like he usually did, he gave small butterfly kisses along my jawline and his hands massaged every inch of my chest and stomach, sometimes playing with the strings of my sweat pants. His lips moved to my neck and I felt my cheeks heat up. He led a trail of kisses and nips to my collar bone then down further. Suddenly, I realized what he was planning to do.

"Hayner…" I whispered, pausing for a moment to see if I would get a response. Nothing. "Hayner, Stop." Still nothing. I began to wriggle, trying to get out from my pinned position against the wall. No use; I was trapped. "Hayner, I mean it. Stop it," I said sternly, glaring at him the best I could without having it falter on me. Finally, he listened. He stopped just a few inches from my belly button before pulling away, his hands no longer massaging. I continued to glare at him, silently telling him to stop what he was doing. Hey; I'm only fifteen! I'm not gonna lose my virginity just yet!

He looked at me for a moment before sighing and leaning forward to press a small kiss against my lips. Of course, I didn't press back. I was pissed at him. Why would I? Sensing that I was pissed at him and wasn't going to kiss back, he pulled away a few seconds after the kiss had begun. He crawled away and plopped down next to me, about half a foot away. "Sorry, Rox. Didn't know what I was doing," he finally said after a moment of silence.

And for the first time in forever, I actually felt naked. I had never felt like that before, but I knew exactly why; I didn't have a shirt on. Sure, I've gone shirtless when he was around plenty of times, but now… it didn't seem right. I sighed and got off the bed, walking over to my closet. I pulled out a white T-shirt with grey sleeves, slipping it over my head. Once I had it on, I looked at him with a straight face and walked over to the bed, sitting down on it again, though I didn't dare venture to the corner. If I did, I would be pinned again. I knew my boyfriend more than anyone.

He wouldn't hesitate to take control. There was only one time he had gotten close. But luckily Sora had just gotten home just before I had lost my virginity; we were only in our boxers at the time and he had my hands tied to the end table. Hayner wouldn't stop apologizing for months until I finally told him to stop and forget about it, despite the fact that even I could never forget how many bruises and cuts I had due to the fact that he had beaten me up a bit that night. Ever since then, I had been a little more careful around Hayner, giving him what he wanted as long as it wasn't sex and I was always staying on his good side.

"You're thinking about it again," he suddenly said. I turned my head, surprised to see that he was looking straight at me. When I didn't answer, he looked out at the room with his elbow on his knee, his foot flat against the bed. He leaned back so that the back of his head rested on the wall. "About that night a year ago, I mean. You told me to forget about it, but every time you get that look on your face, I can tell you're thinking about it. If you want me to stick to my promise, then you better make yourself one and forget about it as well," he finally explained. I knew exactly what he was talking about now.

I sighed and nodded, looking away. He was right; I needed to forget about it. But I had. Until now, that is. Just because of what had happened just now, I remembered it. It wasn't something very pleasant, but it always haunted me in the back of my mind. I couldn't truly forget about it, but at least I could pretend. A long silence fell over us, the only sound being the cicadas; the sound of summer. Luckily, someone had broken that silence. I looked up as the door opened, seeing my brother standing in the doorway. He was glaring at Hayner.

---

The rest of the day was uneventful. Hayner left soon after Sora burst in, using the window instead of the door like he always had. I didn't go outside at all today; I had no will to. It was way too hot, despite the fact that it was supposed to cool down. Besides, we were getting ready for school the next day. That night, I lay down in my bed and just closed my eyes. My alarm was already set, but I was afraid of going to sleep. It was the dreams I always have. Finally, though, I was able to drift to sleep around 11 or 11:30 PM.

But these dreams have been continuing. And every time, they're of the same time. I often get them confused with reality, especially when I'm in my dream state. I forget all about my real life and plunge into a whole other world where my dream self takes over. I'm still Roxas, the same Roxas I've always been. But my family is different, my friends aren't even real, it's always sunset. I can't help but wonder when these dreams would ever leave me alone.

**~*I find the answers aren't so clear. Wish I could find a way to disappear. All these thoughts, they make no sense*~**


	2. Sanctuary

I let out a cry of pain as I was flung to the side, hitting the wall. My cheek was already throbbing; blood was trailing out of the corner of my mouth; my whole body was riddled with cuts and bruises. This new blow would only add to my collection. Still, I just couldn't learn. I glared up at the one who had done this to me only to get a kick in the mouth, sending me toppling to the side. I propped myself up on my forearms, coughing up blood from my mouth.

I soon found myself dragged to the nightstand, my hands tied around the leg with a strong rope. Damn, he knew how to tie ropes… I spat out blood, kicking at him as he began to unbutton my pants. I only received a strong punch in the gut, causing the air to be knocked out of me. My focus faded in an out because of all the pain that my whole body was in, but I didn't give up. I tried to kick at him once more, but he ended up sitting on my legs to stop me from doing so after he casted my pants aside.

Lips collided into mine, the kiss filled with lust. He forced his tongue into my mouth, taking full advantage of what little strength I had left. As one hand roamed my bare chest, his other reached down. He played with the elastic of my boxers, not even breaking the kiss. He then dipped lower and massaged between my legs, though it was anything but comfortable. Again, I tried to kick him only to find that I had become weaker than before and that my whole body was shaking with fear and pain.

He broke the kiss be rested his chin on my shoulder, removing his hand from between my legs to hoist me up so that I was between sitting and laying down. His arms then wrapped around me and pulled his hips forward, grinding our hips together. His breath was hot against my skin as he continued to grind our hips together, thrusting every now and then, though he seemed to want more than just that.

He crashed his lips into mine again, though I didn't return the kiss, tears streaming down my cheeks. His thrusts became more frequent and harder. He let out small grunts each time, seeming to enjoy himself, though for me, it was the exact opposite. I hated this. I wanted nothing more than just to run away. I felt his hands run down my chest then stop at the edge of my boxers. He rested there for one more moment before he began to slide my boxers down.

He broke away and stopped everything he was doing when the sound of the front door opening was heard. Both of us knew that my parents weren't supposed to be home for about a week, so of course Hayner was confused. But I didn't forget. There was no way that I could. I was only wishing that he would get here in time. I soon felt my boyfriend being yanked off me and I curled up, my hands still tied around the end table. I forced my eyes open when I heard my brother screaming for someone to leave. But the only thing I saw was my ceiling.

I sighed and calmed down as fast as I could, turning onto my side. I closed my eyes once more, but my dream flashed before my eyes. The worst part was; I remembered it. It had actually happened in real life. I wished that I could just forget about that night, though I was still thankful that my brother had come home just before I lost my virginity.

I don't know when I had fallen asleep, but it only seemed like for five minutes before my alarm clock went off right beside me, though I knew it was longer than that. I groaned and turned off my alarm before sitting up. The first thing I noticed was that it was darker in my room for this time of day, which was 6 AM. The next thing I noticed was the sound of the pounding rain against my window. I shivered slightly at the soft rumble of distant thunder, knowing very well that it would become louder in about an hour, maybe less.

Luckily, my brother hadn't seemed to sense my dream this time. Either that or he decided not to bother me. He knew not to wake me up, even if it was a nightmare. I ran a hand through my hair before pushing myself off the bed, shoving the dream to the back of my mind. I quickly changed, throwing on a dark grey T-shirt and a pair of jeans. I then walked out the door, noticing that the lights were already on downstairs.

I carefully walked down the wooden stairs, careful not to make a noise. But I swear; mothers have eyes on the back of their head! This was proven when my mother suddenly said "Good morning, Roxas. Breakfast is already ready." I didn't answer her and just walked into the kitchen. I picked up my plate and walked back to the dining room, sitting down. I quickly ate my scrambled eggs and bacon before taking my plate into the kitchen. I didn't say a word, but nodded to my mother as a 'good morning' when she looked at me. I did that every morning, so it was nothing new.

I then did what I did every morning before school; brush my teeth, comb my hair a bit(though no matter how much I tried, it would always stick up like that), put on my shoes, then set my backpack in the living on the couch next to the door. I then went up to my room and sat down at my laptop, opening it. I turned it on, watching the start up screen until the main wallpaper came into view, which was just Hayner, Pence, Olette, and I at the beach during summer vacation.

I opened up Yahoo and logged in. I sighed when I noticed Hayner was online, though he was on idle. I logged out of that then logged into MSN. Yes, I had both. So what? It didn't take long to load, but right when I was about to log out, a little box appeared on the bottom right of my screen. 'Axel has signed in' it said. I ignored it and went to sign out again when a message popped up onto my screen.

**Axel:** Didn't know you'd be on so early.

I frowned. I was always on before school, just to see if there was anybody worth talking to. I sighed and typed my reply.

**Roxas:** Of course I'm on. Why wouldn't I be?

**Axel: **I dunno. Just thought you wouldn't be, y'know?

**Roxas:** Whatever. Look, I gotta finish getting ready for school. I'm supposed to leave in about 5 minutes and it's pouring outside. I'll see you at school.

**Axel:** Wait

**Axel:** Don't leave yet

I went to log out, but then grew rather curious. I sat back in my chair, waiting for Axel to reply.

**Axel:** You still have time until you have to leave, Rox. Anyway, you still dating Hayner?

**Roxas:** Yeah. Why?

**Axel:** I dunno. Just thought you would break up with him by now. I mean, what he did to you and everything…

I paused for a moment and considered logging off, but I knew that he would give me hell about it when I was at school. He always had. I finally sighed and shook my head, leaning forward so that I could type.

**Roxas:** I'll talk to you at school, Axel. You might want to leave soon so that Hayner doesn't figure about our talk. I need to talk to you in RL; not over MSN.

**Axel:** Fine by me. Meet you there in 5. Better be ready.

With that, Axel had signed out. I signed out as well and closed my laptop, hearing the click as it locked into place. I knew it would turn off anyway, so I didn't bother clicking the button or anything. I stood up from my chair and wandered back downstairs. I glanced at the clock, knowing that it was probably too early for me to leave if it were a normal day. But today wasn't a normal day; I had to go talk to Axel. I slung my backpack over my shoulder after slipping on my white hoodie that was black on the inside and on the front pocket, pulling up the hood.

Without telling the others I was leaving, I ran out the door, closing it behind me. I ran down the street as fast I could, the pouring rain pounding against the concrete and soaking parts of me. I didn't bother looking both ways when I ran across the road; bad idea. I heard the honking of a car and I my first reflex was to put one of my hands on the wet hood. I glanced at the car before I took off in a sprint again, my heart hammering in my chest. Soon I was safe inside the school. The first thing I did was sit down near the front door and catch my breath, listening to the rain and the low rumble of thunder that sent shivers down my spine. I then stood up once more and began to walk the halls.

I glanced around, noticing that only security guards were roaming the halls. They already knew that Axel and I had secret meetings here without my boyfriend knowing. In fact, they were also in on it, trying to keep me safe. My brother is friends with all of the security guards, so he had told them to watch out when Hayner was around me, just in case. Of course, I wasn't mad at him for this; I was rather glad to know that people were actually looking after me now. Because of that one incident, I was 'friends' with all the security guards as well.

I walked up the large main stairs of the school onto the second floor before walking to the way back to a door labeled 'attic'. This was the only place locked from everybody except for Axel and I and a few employees. No other student had ever stepped foot in here before. I pulled the key out of my pocket and put it into the lock, turning it before pushing it open. It opened without a sound, despite its age. I walked inside and silently closed it behind me, pulling out the key beforehand. I then locked it from the inside and turned around to walk up the dusty, old staircase. I knew better than to run my hand along the old wood, knowing very well that I would get splinters from it if I did.

I slowed to a stop once I came to the middle of the room, looking up at large, slanted window in front of me. I watched the rain cascade down its length and a lightning bolt stretch across the clouds, filling the room with a dim light only to have it fall back to its usual dimness. No matter what, this room seemed quite dusty, old, and dim, but that was because of the old window covered with dirt and dust. I finally tore my eyes away from the window and sky just as I shivered from the sound of thunder. I looked around the room just to make sure nobody was there. The only things I saw were a few things that were no longer needed in the classrooms. Other than that, everything was left the way it was before I had left for summer vacation.

I dropped my backpack down against the wall next to the stairs before walking over to the couch, pulling off the sheet that kept dust from settling onto the three-cushioned couch. I stuffed the sheet into a wooden chest near the window before pulling off the sheets from the two recliners, shoving those in the chest as well. I opened up a compartment on the top of the chest and pulled out a small rag, using it to dust off the coffee table in the middle of the room. I then used it to clean off the end tables and the lamps before putting the rag back in the compartment. I closed the chest, locking it with the same key that I opened the door with. I walked up to the large window, pulling the large curtains over it and putting pin through the hole in the curtains and into the wood so that it would stay closed. I walked around, turning on all the lamps before finally collapsing onto the couch, sighing heavily as I let my eyes close.

I lay there for a moment, slowly falling asleep due to the fact that I slept a lot; both my brother and I did. It didn't matter how much we slept at night; we would always fall asleep during the day. None of the doctors could figure out why, but we always slept more than the average human. Because all the teachers knew about our sleeping problems and the fact that I would sometimes escape here when I needed to relieve some stress, they let us off the hook a lot. They knew that if we didn't get our sleep, we would just pass out and if I didn't come here, I wouldn't be able to concentrate at all. This was only mine and Axel's place; our sanctuary.

When I was tired during class, I would just excuse myself and come here. For some reason, I would never have nightmares here. I would have a peaceful sleep. I would never be plagued with the nightmares at home or anywhere else. I would've invited my brother to this place, but for some reason, it just didn't seem right. This was Axel and my place; nobody else's. Nobody would ever bother us here. We would be free to do whatever we wanted due to the fact that the whole room was rather sound-proof. Even after school I was allowed here; Axel and I have the key to the whole entire school. The teachers know how important this room is, though they don't even know why.

Axel and I have suggested many things. It could've been the fact that we could be ourselves in here without fear. It could've been because of how peaceful it was most of the time. It could've been even the fact that we could talk about anything and everything and know that nobody is listening in on us. There are many reasons as to why we love this place, including the history behind it. But all of that we kept to ourselves, not wanting to give out details about the room because it was _our_ room.

My thoughts were interrupted when I suddenly had the urge to wake up. I had the feeling that someone was watching me, though I already knew who it was. I shifted slightly when I felt someone blowing on my face, small smile forming on my face. I soon swatted away the one blowing on my face before opening my eyes, looking directly into emerald eyes. "You have minty breath, Ax. Smells like Winter Fresh," I said with a small laugh before sitting up. "Or something like that. I can never tell the mints apart."

Axel stood up and made his way to one of the recliners, sitting down on it with a satisfied sigh. He leaned back and lifted his feet up, crossing his ankles as his heel rested on the coffee table. He did this all the time, though I couldn't help but notice the new pair of combat boots on the junior. He laced his fingers together, laying his hands on his stomach. "Eh, it doesn't matter. You were asleep for a while. It's already well into second period. Probably just a few more minutes until the bell," he said.

I opened my mouth to reply to him, but he held up a hand to stop me. I closed my mouth again and his hand returned to its previous position. "I already informed your teachers that you're up here, sleeping. They said it was alright and that you should rest," he replied to my unanswered question, causing me to merely nod. He then stood up from his spot on the chair and walked over to his backpack. He crouched down next to it and opened it up, pulling something out. "By the way, you forgot this."" He then turned towards me and tossed the object up, the object coming towards me.

I reached up and caught it before it could fall behind me, bringing it down in front of my face to see what it was; my phone. I couldn't believe that I had forgotten this. I had always brought it with me, everywhere I went. I only kept it just in case I needed to talk to Axel, though I would only text him and tell him to go up to the 'secret place'. The teachers allowed this for the both of us, of course, though most of the students always seemed jealous that we were allowed to get out of class early.

I laughed softly and a bit nervously before shoving it in my pocket. "Sorry. Must've slipped my mind," I said, offering Axel a small smile, which he returned at a larger scale like he always did. I sighed softly and nestled back into the couch cushions, looking at the redhead as he played around on his own phone. There was a moment of silence that passed between the two, save for the opening and closing of the red phone in the redhead's hand. Finally, I spoke up. "Hayner keeps asking me why I even have my phone if I don't bother calling anyone with it," I informed.

This caught Axel's attention. Emerald eyes quickly looked up into mine, giving me a look that told me to continue. Of course, it wasn't a mean look or anything, but I was able to distinguish which was which. "I told him that it was only for emergencies and that I didn't need to call him if he lived right next door," I finished. He continued to give me the look, though he seemed pretty convinced. I knew exactly what he was asking. I laughed softly and shook my head. "He still doesn't know about us, Axel. I keep my phone away from him, in the compartment underneath my nightstand. You know; the one that drops down with the small key my brother has," I answered with a small smile.

Axel nodded then went back to playing with his phone. He was silent for a few seconds before speaking. "So tell me… Has he tried anything over the summer while I was gone?" he questioned, his eyes moving back to mine. "Like, say… what happened that first time. Did you ever try that again?"

I nodded slightly. "Not as bad as last time, but he did try just yesterday," I replied. He gave me the signal to continue. "He snuck in through my window. I managed to get him away before he tried anything, though. So you don't have to worry." He nodded and I watched as he stood up, shoving his phone in his pocket. He walked over to the couch and sat down, moving so that his back nestled between the back of the couch and the arm. He then reached forward and grabbed my hand, pulling me onto him, which I accepted.

I closed my eyes and laid my head o his chest, feeling one arm wrap around me protectively as the other moved so that he could lace our fingers together. He always did this to comfort me and it never failed. He knew when I needed someone to be right there and he always gave it, even if I didn't ask to it. We laid there for a moment, just listening to the rain and the sound of our even breathing. But of course, silence is always broken. "Why do you even stay with him, Rox?" he asked. "You should just break up with him. He's way too controlling and will have his way with you if you give him the chance, no matter how much you try to push him away. He may be holding back for now, but that doesn't mean that he will forever."

I remained silent for a moment, opening my eyes about half way. I turned my head so that I lay on my right cheek, facing the room. I began to trace small shapes across the fabric of Axel's shirt. Finally, I sighed and stopped playing with Axel's shirt, curling my fingers so that it formed a loose fist that just rested on the redhead's chest. "I know, Axel, but… I can't find it in myself to break up with him. If I do break up with him…" I said, letting my voice trail off. I didn't need to finish my sentence. Both of us Hayner's anger issues and how he would kill the first person he saw if I had broken up with him.

Axel reached up and ruffled my hair, causing me to frown and reach up with my free hand to fix it as his returned to my back. "Just promise me that you'll break up with him if things get out of hand. I don't want you getting hurt because of him. You've been hurt enough as it has," he replied. I nodded, but said nothing; there wasn't anything to say to that.

I let my eyes drift closed, snuggling into the redhead's warm chest once more. I don't know why, but Axel always gave me what Hayner never did. I always thought of it as a way to comfort me, but I found that I liked it much more than what I was supposed to. Truthfully, I didn't really care. Axel was the only one who really understood why I stayed with Hayner; even Sora didn't understand. And explaining it to him would never do any good and Axel and I knew that. Though Sora may know me better than anyone, he didn't exactly know how to react. Besides, I would rather keep him out of this. I would never want Hayner to go after Sora just because my brother was protecting me. But with Axel… he could always protect me from the shadows and pretend to just be a random stranger and get away with it. I soon found myself drifting off to sleep once more, too deep in my thoughts to notice that the thunder was getting louder by the minute.

When I awoke, I found myself lying on the couch by myself; Axel was gone. I sat up and looked around, searching every corner with my eyes. I stood up and began to walk around, looking behind each and every equipment I could see inside the small attic before running down the stairs, panicked. I couldn't stand it alone, especially if I wasn't alone beforehand. I quickly unlocked the door and ran out into the hallway, closing and locking the door behind me. Well, at least I had the sense to do that… I then looked around once more, but still saw no sign of the redhead. In fact, the whole school seemed empty.

Rain pounded harshly against the large windows of the school and the roof above me. The whole world outside was dark as well as the inside of the school. Everything was dark, but my eyes adjusted to the light. I began a quick walking pace, looking down every hallway I could find on the second floor. I let out a yell as lightning flashed right outside the window, the loud crash of thunder echoing throughout the hallways. I took off in a sprint, looking through the window of every classroom I could find. I ran down the stairs and through the hallways down there as well; still no sign of Axel.

Thunder crashed loudly just as the lightning touched down, the rain hammering the roof and the windows. My breath quickened just as my footsteps did, desperately searching for a familiar face. The security guards, my friends, Hayner, Axel, anyone! But so far, there was no sign of anybody there. Only the thunder accompanied me in power blasts that shook the school and the world around me. Tears I never knew were there streamed down my face, every single one of them caused by fear.

I quickly darted up the stairs and towards the attic once more, but just as I turned the corner to go down the hallway I knew the attic was in, I collided into something soft. I stumbled backwards with a shout and started to feel myself fall backwards. Just then a hand shot out and grabbed my arm, holding me upright. The lightning flashed once more to reveal a rather confused-looking Axel, his eyes widening when he realized that he had left me alone and I had woken up.

He quickly pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me as I buried my head into his chest. "I'm so sorry, Rox. I just went to go check to see if anybody was left in the school. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you," he whispered, stroking my hair as I cried loudly. I stood there, trembling in his arms. I didn't even reply to him, I was that scared. He knew that I was terrified when I was alone during a thunder storm. Despite that, he had left me alone without leaving a note or something.

"Shh. Calm down. It's alright now. I didn't leave you," he said soothingly, stroking my hair in a calming motion. Once my tears had subsided (for the most part), he grabbed my hand and led me back to the attic, using his own key instead of asking for mine. He led me up all the way up the stairs then pulled me to him once more when we were near a previously-covered rocking chair. He sat down with me in his lap, moving my legs so that they draped over the arm. "We'll stay here for the night. Or at least until the storm passes," he said softly, rocking back and forth gently.

He whispered softly, just saying the same things over and over until I finally calmed down. Once I was calm enough, he stood up and moved us to the couch, carrying me bridal style. He laid down and I instantly cuddled up against him, burying my head into his chest as I tried to ignore the frequent thunder. He reached into his backpack that I didn't know was right next to the couch and pulled out an iPod, putting the earphones in my ears. He then played Lullaby for a Stormy Night by Vienna Tung, putting it on repeat. After listening to it a few times, I soon fell back asleep, knowing that Axel wouldn't leave me this time.

**~*wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I. My sanctuary; where fears and lies melt away.*~ **


	3. Face Down

Tears streamed down my face. Every inch of my body felt like it was on fire. It hurt like hell. I ran as fast as I could; as far away as I possibly could get. My breath came in ragged gasps, the night closing in around me. Street lights flickered on only to go off and come back on once more. My bare feet ached from the hard concrete, but I didn't care. I needed to get somewhere safe. And only one place was safe at this instant; the Sanctuary.

Ever since the large storm that hit about a week or two ago, Axel and I had been calling our secret place "The Sanctuary". It seemed fitting enough, for the thunder seemed to barely enter the small, yet comforting attic. We used it for many things, especially when we needed comfort. And right now, I needed that more than anything and I knew it.

I stopped at the front door, pulling out the keys from my pocket. I fumbled with them for a moment, trying to get them in. My actions became more quickened and panicked when I heard shouts; he was yelling for me... I knew that this wasn't good. I had to get in. And fast. If I was caught… I finally got the door open and ran inside, forgetting to lock it as I sprinted once more.

I skipped steps on the way up the stairs, though my foot missed one of them and I ended up falling forward. I groaned and just lay there for a moment, panting, bleeding, and sweating. It felt like all the energy had been drained out of my body. But then adrenaline pumped through my blood once more as I heard calm footsteps, my breath hitching when I heard my name echoing through the halls eerily. "Oh Roxas; come out, come out, wherever you are," the voice taunted.

I quickly scrambled to the side of the stairs, near the railing nearest to the entrance. My breath was shallow, though it was quick. He glanced over the half-wall that held the bars, looking down to see the other blonde walking calmly out from underneath the stairs. I carefully climbed the stairs, thankful that I didn't have shoes and that the stairs didn't make a sound. I glanced through the rails and over the half-wall every now and then to notice that he was walking towards the 1300 hallway.

I quickly pulled out my phone and texted Axel as quick as possible, causing me to use txt talk. I typed in 'help come 2 school now' before quickly sending the message, closing my phone a little too loudly. The snapping sound echoed throughout the whole school. I froze in terror. I could feel the color drain out of my face, making me dizzy. I soon composed myself and looked over the half-wall again.

I began crawling as fast as I could, shoving the phone in my pocket beforehand. "There you are." Many thoughts ran through my head at one time. There were so many that even I couldn't decipher any of them. Then one screamed out at me, seeming to be the most trustful one.

_Run._

And so I did. I stood up and sprinted as fast as I could once I reached the top of the stairs. I ran through the halls, my heart pounding in my chest. I quickly turned the corner at the end of the 2100 hallway, darting down the hallway that stretched across the back. I stepped on the front of my pant leg and fell forward, rushing towards the floor. I landed with a _thud_, groaning in pain.

I listened as the footsteps drew closer and closer before they stopped all together. I listened silently, but heard nothing. I relaxed, thinking that the other had given up the chase. But I was wrong. I let out a painful yelp as I was tugged to my feet by my hair, my hands automatically flying up and grabbing the hand that was buried within my blonde locks. Tears poured out of my eyes and hit the carpet below me, my whole body aching. I prayed that it would be over soon; that Axel would find me or that my boyfriend would just finish me off once and for all. I shivered in fear when I heard a husky voice in my ear.

"I found you, you little prick. Did you really think you would get away from me that easily?"

I said nothing and just continued to stand there, frozen in place. I knew that if I moved my head, it would mean tugging on my hair. And that wasn't exactly the best thing that could happen… But I soon figured out that staying silent wasn't the best way to go. I let out a cry as I felt pain in my stomach, the hand letting go of my hair as I doubled over, holding my stomach.

I stumbled to the side as knuckles collided into my jaw at a fast pace. I felt blood trickle out of the corner of my mouth, holding my cheek as the tears continued to fall. I slumped to the floor, shaking from the amount of pain. I looked up and my eyes widened. I backed away as quickly as I could only to find my back meet two walls that joined into a corner. Still, the other blonde continued forward towards me. I trembled in fear, looking up at him with wide eyes.

I closed my eyes tightly and ducked my head when I saw his leg swinging towards me and just waited. I held my breath, my body frozen in place. Even my hearing seemed to decide to quit on me. I waited for who-knows-how-long, but I felt nothing; no pain. I still felt the pain I was already feeling, but there was no new pain. After a moment, my hearing came back to me. The only thing I heard were grunts and small shouts of anger.

I forced my eyes open and lowered my arms from their crossed position in front of my face. I'm not exactly sure what had happened. I just saw quick movements and precise strikes, though it was clear that it was only from one person. Who it was that had just protected me, I had no idea. All I knew was that it was a male, but that was because I knew all those grunts weren't from Hayner and they were too deep for a female. Because of the dark hallways, I could barely make out the details, despite the fact that my eyes had adjusted quite well.

There was a final shout from the smaller teen (whom I knew was Hayner) before said male fell to the ground on his stomach. He muttered a string of curses before standing up and running out of sight. I watched as the thinner figure walked over to me, extending its hand downwards. Now that I got a good look at the other through the darkness, I knew exactly who it was. I reached up without hesitation and grabbed the other's thin hand, pulling myself up with his help.

However, once I was up, I felt myself being flung forward by my left wrist. Before I knew it, I was against the other's chest and strong arms were wrapped around me tightly in a warm embrace. I just stood there for a moment, letting the other hold me as I closed my eyes. My chin was tilted upwards, over his shoulder due to the fact that he was leaning down just so that. I remained silent, not knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I should've gotten here sooner." After a moment, he loosened his grip and took a hold of my hand, leading me through the darkness. I knew exactly where we were going. He always brought me there when something happened or when we just needed to be alone. He knew exactly where I needed to be at exactly the right moment. It never failed.

So I just let him take me up to the Sanctuary, somewhere I never went when he wasn't there with me. To me, there was no need to go if he wasn't there. It would serve no purpose for me and I would just feel lonely and as if I didn't exist. It's happened more than once for me. For him… I wasn't exactly sure. I found myself always wondering if he was up in the Sanctuary, waiting for me as I sat in class, semi-listening to the teacher drone on and on about a subject.

I squeezed my hand slightly, just to make sure that his hand was there, I guess. I'm not exactly sure why. I walked close to him; so close that I could almost feel his body heat and hear his calm breath. But the body heat wasn't too surprising; the redhead had a higher body temperature than most humans alive. But the breathing… He was a rather soft breather. I don't know how close he was, but if I was able to hear his breath, I was pretty damn close to him. Still, I didn't mind. I found myself wanting to be closer, feeling as if I'd lose him in the darkness if he wasn't right there.

I didn't know when I had gotten there, but I found myself sitting on a piano bench with Axel right next to me. There was the shuffling of papers then a few clicks before a small flame appeared in front of the other. I then noticed the lighter in the other's hand, watching it calmly as the small flame lit five candles that rested on the piano, just above the keys. Why had he brought me here if he never played piano? Or if he did, I knew nothing of it.

For a moment, there was silence, save for the small rustling of papers as the redhead looked through the papers on the piano stand thing. I studied his face, noticing that he was concentrating on something. I followed his eyes to the piano sheet music to see that he was actually reading the notes; or at least pretending to read them. Either way, he was looking at the notes that I couldn't even decipher. I dared not speak a word, not wanting to break the sweet silence.

The other closed the folder in front of him before resting his hands on the keys. I jumped slightly when I heard one of the keys being pressed, the sound echoing throughout the room. Then dead silence. There was a soft sigh and I looked over at Axel, watching as his eyes closed, as if concentrating. I waited for a few moments, leaning back slightly only to stretch my back. I glanced down at his hand to notice that it moved only slightly to the right.

Then he began to play. The soft melody echoed throughout the previously silent room, his fingers dancing across the keys as he pressed each one seemingly perfectly. I scooted over a bit, though I knew it wasn't needed; he was already careful not to hit me. I watched in fascination, watching his hands tap each key that was needed. I already knew this song, though I had never heard him play it before. And so far, there wasn't one mistake.

I couldn't believe it. If he could play this well, then why wasn't I told? Why hadn't he brought me here beforehand? Was he embarrassed? I dismissed all the thoughts and closed my own eyes, images forming in my head. The images soon moved to small daydreams. No, not daydreams; the memories from the dreams. Except… they were different this time. I was no longer running away or being controlled.

I was sitting on a clock tower, watching the sunset. I wore a black coat that swayed slightly in the gentle, warm breeze. I wasn't with my friends from the virtual town in my dreams. This was supposed to be the real town, the town that wasn't created by some guy named DiZ. But I wasn't alone. Beside me was another male with the same coat on, though it was altered so that it could fit him. We were both talking. About what, I couldn't remember. All I knew was that this was similar to the dream.

The music in the background changed to something more mellow and sad, though it was still beautiful either way. The sky darkened as the sun set more in the sky. "Want to go back now?" I turned my head to look at Axel beside me, who was looking at the sunset. I nodded before standing up. The scene changed completely and I was sitting on the clock tower with Hayner, Pence, and Olette. I stood up just as Olette pulled out sea-salt ice-cream. My foot slipped and I felt myself tilting to the side. I tried desperately to steady myself, but only managed to turn myself. I reached out and the scene changed once more. I was wearing a black coat again and my foot lifted from the concrete. There was no chance that I would get back on the ledge.

I held out my hand in a reaction, the scene switching back and forth from Hayner, Pence, and Olette to Axel then to the other three again. All of them were calling my name, trying to reach for me as well. But none of them could get remotely close. I closed my eyes tightly, waiting for the inevitable.

"Roxas!"

The shout was so loud that I forced my eyes open once more. I found myself lying on my side on the carpet of the music room, candlelight all around me. My bangs were glued to my forehead once more with sweat, my body shaking with each breath I took. I forced myself to calm down, trying hard to calm my breathing. I sat up and looked around slowly before my eyes landed on the figure next to me, feeling his eyes on me though I could barely see him through the candlelight.

He sat forwards, brushing away some of the bangs. "You okay, Rox?" he asked softly. I could only merely nod. I couldn't think of anything to say. He sighed and sat back once more, though he looked like he was feeling slightly awkward. "That's good… Was it that dream again?" I nodded again. He then shook his head, standing up. He grabbed my hand and hoisted me up, letting go of my hand once the both of us were up. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let you fall asleep like that. C'mon. Let's go to the Sanctuary. We can rest there, if you like," he suggest softly. Again, I merely nodded.

The next week, I sat in class, at my usual desk. I watched the teacher teach the class, like she was supposed to. Though I swore that not even half the class was even listening, me one of those people. I tapped my pencil on the desk lightly so that it wouldn't annoy the hell out of anybody. I barely listened to the teacher, my mind elsewhere. I finally sighed and stood up, gathering all my stuff. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and headed towards the door. I froze when I felt every set of eyes on me. The whole room went dead quiet. I looked back at my teacher. "Sanctuary," I merely said before walking out the door, closing it behind me.

I didn't care that the bell as going to ring soon or the fact that it was fifth period. I've done this many times during the school year and none of the teachers ever stopped me. They didn't even question me as to why I would just leave; they just let me. They didn't even ask where this Sanctuary was anymore. But when they did, both Axel and I would either ignore them or say 'it's a secret place'. We didn't dare tell them where the Sanctuary was.

I continued down the hallways, glancing into each classroom through either the door or if it wasn't open, the window next to the door. I quickly walked past one of the doors when I spotted Hayner inside them, not want him to know that I was going to the Sanctuary again. He always questioned me about it if he saw me walking through the halls. If I didn't tell him, he would get angry at me and start yelling. You see, Hayner has a bit of an anger problem. When he's angry, he can't hold back his cursing and starts hitting everything he sees.

I stopped when I got to Axel's fifth period class; science. Because the door was already open, I just leaned against the door frame, watching Axel as he played with the fire when the teacher wasn't looking. I chuckled slightly with a small smile on my lips, shaking my head. Well, that's Axel for ya; one huge pyromaniac. No matter where he was, he was almost always playing with a lighter or at least talking about a fire-related subject, which was why he was playing with the Bunsen burner.

I watched his lips move each time he turned the knob. I could just imagine him say "big flame, small flame. Big flame, small flame" every time the fire's size changed according to the direction he turned the knob. I sighed and shook my head, glancing at the students to make sure that none of them had spotted me; not that they would, anyway. They were all turned away from me, doing their own experiment as Axel just played with the Bunsen burner.

Despite my efforts to be unknown to most of the students, one student walked over to Axel, leaning down to whisper in his ear. I caught him stealing a glance towards me before Axel stood up strait and nodded, no longer playing with the Bunsen burner. Axel removed the lab coat that was supposed to be buttoned up, laying it across the stool. He walked over to me, putting a hand on the door frame and leaning down so that the others couldn't hear our conversation.

"What's up, Rox?" he asked softly. I could feel his breath brushing across my cheeks. Hm. It smelled… minty. He looked over his shoulder at his group, who were waving towards him, beckoning for him to come back. He shook his head no before looking back down at me.

I shrugged lightly, one hand holding the strap of my backpack that was actually o my shoulder while the other strap just hung loosely. "Well, I thought that maybe we could go talk in the Sanctuary," I replied just as low. I shifted slightly, noticing that one of my feet hurt after I had stubbed my toe on the way out the door this morning. I looked back up at him and before I knew it, I reached up and grabbed his sleeve that was near me, stopping it from tickling my face. "I need to talk to you, Axel," I said, my voice rather urgent. "It's about Hayner."

He hesitated for a moment before sighing, closing his eyes for more than a standard blink. "God, I hate that kid…" he muttered under his breath, though I could hear it perfectly due to how close we were. I felt my face heat up just the slightest bit when I realized just _how_ close we were. Anybody could think that we were kissing or something if they were just at the right angle. Finally, his eyes opened and he nodded, standing up strait once more. His hand slid down the door frame and I let go of his sleeve. "Alright. Hold on, Rox. I'll go get my stuff and let the teacher know that I'm leaving," he finally said before walking away, leaving me at the door.

I leaned against the door frame once more, watching him collect all of his things and shove them into his backpack. He waved to a blonde at his group whom I knew as Demyx before walking out the door where I was waiting. He motioned for me to follow and we both began walking towards the attic. "So do you want to talk about it here or do you want to wait until we're at the Sanctuary?" he question, stealing a glance towards me.

I shook my head, not returning his gaze. "No, not here. Too many cameras. Someone can easily listen in. There's no cameras up at the Sanctuary or even near that area. We'll be safe to talk there," I replied, glancing at one of the said cameras that watched the whole hallway. I then looked over at Axel to see him merely nod in agreement.

---

I was lying down on the three-cushioned couch, throwing a small blue ball up in the air only to catch it once more. My head rested on the arm rest while my feet were angled so that one of my legs was strait and the other foot lay flat on the couch cushions. Axel was currently fixing up some things on his homework and I didn't want to just leave him. Besides, I liked it here. Why would I leave if I couldn't come home? I heard the shuffling of papers and the sound of a large Algebra book closing. I caught the ball one last time and sat up, using one hand to prop me up as I looked over at Axel. I turned my body, letting my feet fall to the dust-covered wooden floor.

I watched as he stood up and walked over to his backpack, shoving his Algebra book and papers into his backpack. I found it a miracle that the redhead could even find anything in there, let alone shove everything inside like that. I watched in silence when he finally zipped it closed and walked back over to the chair, plopping down onto it. Finally he looked at me, emerald eyes meeting green. "So… do you have any backup plan in case things get out of hand?" he asked.

I averted my gaze to the wooden floor, shaking my head slowly. "No," I admitted. "The only thing I can do is run if things _do_ get out of hand. I just hope they don't." We sat in silence for a moment, both of us remaining still. I could feel his eyes on me, begging me to look at him, but I didn't. I didn't know why, but I didn't want to look at him. It was almost as if I was afraid. At last, a small sigh escaped the other's lips, causing me to tear my eyes away from the floor and rest on the redhead.

"Well… You could always come to me. I trust you know where I live," he said before standing up. He walked over to me, sitting down next to me. The whole time, I just watched him, not saying a word. I didn't know what to say, really. He leaned back into the cushions, his head tilted back towards the ceiling. "We've known each other for about… three or four years now, haven't we?" he questioned. I nodded. "And you've known Hayner longer than that." Again, I just simply nodded. "Then tell me…" His eyes returned to mine. "Why exactly do you stay friends with him, Rox? You know that you have so many people you can count on. Hell, you can even call the cops and have him sent away. You don't have to do this on your own, you know."

I thought for a minute before leaning back, looking back down at the floor as I crossed my arms loosely. I was silent for a moment, trying to think of how to put it. "Well… That's the thing. I'm not alone," I replied softly, though my voice echoed throughout the otherwise-silent room. I paused for a moment before looking at the wall opposite of us. "I have you, don't I? What more do I need if I already have someone who helps me out so much?" I finished.

Axel let out a soft sigh and when I looked at him, he was shaking his head at me. I gave him a confused look, knowing that he couldn't see it yet. When he opened his eyes once more, he looked directly at me with a both curious and almost worried expression. "You sure that's enough, Rox?" he asked. He shifted so that his left arm was on the top of the couch, just above my shoulders. His left knee was bent so that his foot hung off the couch, his other foot flat against the floor. "I mean, what you're saying is that you have only one person. Think of it this way: what if I had to move? Then who would you turn to? I wouldn't be there anymore and you would have nobody to protect you or for you to run to when you need the comfort. Just me isn't enough."

I fell silent, looking down at my hands that were now in my lap. I said nothing for what seemed for an eternity, though I knew Axel was waiting for an answer. I finally looked back up at him, smiling slightly. I shrugged. "I'm fine. Everybody else doesn't get it when I talk to them. They feel awkward if I even try," I said, leaning back slightly. I didn't know why, but I could always tell what someone was feeling just by looking at their eyes, unless they were a really good actor/actress. And Axel… he was good actor most of the time, though he never really seemed to try to wear a mask like the others when he was around me. He would just let me see them without hesitation.

He sighed once more and shook his head, standing up. He walked in front of me and moved my bangs out of my forehead, leaning down to kiss me on the forehead. I closed my eyes right when I felt his lips against my forehead, just like I always did every time he would do that. He pulled away and let go of my bangs, ruffling my hair a bit before walking over to his backpack to sling it over his shoulder. He walked towards the stairs, but then stopped and turned towards me. "Oh and no keeping secrets, Roxas. Tomorrow, you have to tell me everything that happened at the sleepover, if anything," he said, giving me a stern look. It faded away when I nodded in agreement. "Good. Don't let him take advantage of you. Fight if you can't run."

I nodded and stood up, watching him as he left. I then walked over to my backpack, slinging it over my shoulder. I walked down the stairs and unlocked the door, walking out. I closed the door behind me, closing the door with my key before shoving the key in a pocket in my backpack. I then walked out the school doors and towards Hayner's house, the one place I didn't want to be.

------------------------------------------------------

The songs that Axel played for Roxas are linked below.

Memories- .com/watch?v=a94mZIMD3L4

Roxas' Theme- .com/watch?v=HQ0F0OyKVvE (Stop at 2:02)

**~*Do you feel like a man? When you push her around? Do you feel better now? As she falls to the ground.*~**


	4. Here In Your Arms

Axel seemed rather surprised when I told him the next morning that Hayner and I just watched movies and made milkshakes all day. I had even told him that he didn't even try to kiss me even once. He had made sure to keep his distance and not make me feel uncomfortable, which I was thankful for. But the fact still remained; I was still afraid of him and I knew for sure that I no longer cared for him. Sure, I had cared for him a year or two back, but now, I felt nothing like that towards him. I made sure to fill Axel in on every detail, knowing that he would probably ask questions if I missed anything.

I watched as he hummed in thought before he leaned back against the chair cushions, drumming his fingers against his crossed knees. His emerald eyes were focused on the ceiling and I knew he was thinking it all over and making sure that I didn't skip anything, which I hadn't. Or at least, I don't think I did... Finally, he looked back at me and nodded. "Well, seems like everything went well, then. Hayner didn't try to rape you again and you stayed up pretty late. But who fell asleep first?" he questioned. See? I knew he would ask a question. Looks like I _did_ forget a part.

I flashed him a reassuring smile, tucking one of my hands underneath my head. I was currently lying on my left side on the three-cushioned couch, facing Axel. "I made sure to go to sleep 2 hours after Hayner did, at 4 o'clock in the morning, which is why I didn't wake up until really late today. I was playing around on his laptop and facing him so that I would know if he had woken up," I explained. When he nodded and said that he didn't have any more questions, I sat up and looked around the attic, examining every portion of it. I then looked directly at Axel, leaning back against the couch cushions. "Hey, Axel?" I began. Only when he looked up from the book I didn't realize he had just picked up did I speak again. "Think we can make this place look a bit better?" I asked.

He hummed in thought before looking around and closing the book. I watched him as he shoved it back into his black-hole-storage-container he called a backpack. It still amazed me how much stuff that small thing could hold. I swore he used magic or something. Finally, he looked at me, emerald eyes locking with blue ones. "Sure we can. What do you have in mind, Rox?" he replied, the name seeming almost natural when it came from his mouth.

I stood up and walked over to the wall, tapping it slightly as I looked at him. I then explained everything that we could do to make the room look nicer, including polishing the end tables, washing the window, replacing the bulbs in the lamps, and everything else I could think of. Once I was done explaining, I walked over to the couch and sat down, crossing my legs. "That way, we don't have to worry about getting splinters by touching the walls or sneezing because of the dust this place has. We can work before and after school if we're not finished in time," I finished.

Before I even knew it, I was being tugged out the school's front door and towards Home Depot. (Yes, Twilight Town has a Home Depot.) Okay, not really pulled there, but close enough. Unlike Axel, my legs aren't that long, which meant that it was hard for me to keep up when he walked in his normal speed. Along the way, we talked about the types of things that we could buy. I was surprised to find that Axel's father was the owner of a major company that sold car parts and had set up many stores around the world. No wonder he had so much money...

When we finally got there, he slowed down so that I wouldn't have to strain myself just trying to keep up with him. He paused for a moment, allowing me to finally catch my breath and restore some of my energy. He then continued to walk and I followed closely, not wanting to lose him within the large store that smelled faintly like sawdust. I don't know why, but I liked that smell. When I found that he was looking at wood planks, I walked up to him and grabbed his sleeve, tugging on it slightly to get his attention. "Axel, what are we doing here?" I asked curiously, looking up at him.

He smiled down at me before he returned his eyes to the wooden planks. "I take woodshop, Rox. It'll be easier to just replace the wood for the walls and the floors rather than just repaint them. Newer ones would last longer, especially if we choose the right finish," he replied. I only nodded in agreement and let go of his sleeve. He led to me to a section where all the wood planks were the same size and examined them carefully. He then asked me which color wood would be best in the attic. After looking at all the different colors of wood, I chose an antique-looking dark oak wood for the flooring, which Axel said was a good choice.

After a few minutes of looking, we found an employee who could actually put in our order for flooring. When he asked if they should have workers come in and do it for us, Axel said that it was fine and that we had it covered. I let Axel do all the talking and I went outside to wait for him, sitting down on a bench. I was too shy to talk to strangers like that, so I knew that he could handle it. It even took months for Axel to actually start a conversation with me. That was the first time I had opened up to anyone about my problems other than to my brother. Axel had promised to keep me safe and I actually felt safe. He suggested that he should always be around me, but I had refused, saying that Hayner would come after him. When he said he didn't care about that, I told him that it would put me in more danger than what I already was. That was the only thing that got him to agree to keep away from me when we were in public. But then we started drifting closer.

Before I even knew it, I learned that he lived just a few blocks from me and we had traded cell phone numbers with each other. Hayner didn't even know that I had a cell phone when Axel did. But it didn't stop there. We started hanging out more often and I began to start to come up with excuses to meet him. The first time I let him hug me was the first time that I actually fell asleep in somebody's arms that weren't my brother's or my mother's. I had gotten so used to having Axel around that I almost felt uncomfortable when I was alone. And just recently, I had started texting him randomly, just to talk to him when I couldn't see him. We may be just best friends, but he's the closest I've ever gotten to anybody that wasn't inside the family. I hadn't even gotten this close to Hayner, who I started to push away.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my name being called. My stomach twisted instantly. I knew that voice better than anybody else's. With a small hesitation, I turned my head to see Hayner, running towards me, waving like an idiot. I sighed mentally and stood up, offering a small wave back. He stopped in front of me. "Hey, dude. Didn't think you would be here. I thought you were still at home or something," he said, grinning.

I shrugged, shoving my hands in my pockets. I knew he wouldn't do anything in public and I knew perfectly well that Axel was just inside the store. If anything, I was safe. Unless Hayner decided to drag me somewhere, which I wouldn't let him do, even if I had to lie to him again. "Eh, just waiting for someone to come out of the store," I replied, motioning towards Home Depot. He gave me a curious look. My stomach twisted again when he asked who I was waiting for. I mentally scolded myself and opened my mouth to reply, but was cut off when I heard someone shouting my name. I spun to face the redhead, watching him walk towards me with a cart full of stuff. "The guy said that I can take the cart so that we can bring all this stuff to the room," he said, motioning towards the cart. He then noticed who I was standing next to me and began looking back and forth between us. I could tell that he felt rather awkward. I mean, I did, too. I always felt awkward around Hayner, but now it was even worse now that he knew that Axel knew me.

I hesitated slightly before looking back at Hayner. "Umm. Hayner, this is Axel. He's from school. We're experimenting with some things and we need a lot of paint, paint brushes, and some wood to do that," I explained. I knew I was lying through my teeth, but at least it looked as if I was telling the truth. At least, I hoped so... I had to stop myself from sighing in relief when Hayner nodded. "Alright. I'll see you around, Rox. Don't want to keep you guys away from doing your project," he said before walking up. Only then did I let out a sigh of relief. I looked up at Axel, smiling slightly. "Well... At least we got out of that one," I said with a short laugh before walking towards the school, though I was stopped when Axel grabbed my arm.

I turned around to look at Axel, giving him a confused look as he let go of my arm. "What? We need to get this stuff to the school so that we can start painting," I said, the confusion clear in my voice. He shook his head and motioned towards the store. "I came out here to ask you if my older brother can help us get everything in the attic. He's a worker here and he won't tell anybody about the Sanctuary. He won't even step foot into the Sanctuary. He's going to be dropping off everything on the second floor if we let him help," he said. I hesitated for a moment. Was letting someone not in our group help us a real good idea? But then again... he was just helping us carry everything up all those stairs. I let out a soft sigh and nodded. "Alright. But you have to promise me that he won't get near the Sanctuary," I agreed finally.

Axel reached forward and ruffled my hair with a smirk. "You really think I would let someone into the place that's only ours? I even asked the teachers not to go in there and that we can call that room our own," he replied. I smiled at that, though I didn't know exactly why. I could only guess that it was because it was actually ours. All ours. Nobody else would be allowed to get inside without the key. And by what Axel told me, we were the only ones with that key. All the others were properly disposed of and could never be used again. After that, he asked me if I could walk back in and find his brother. He said to just look for someone with flaming red hair and I would find him. Well, that seemed easy enough. I just didn't realize how big Home Depot truly was.

I had successfully got myself lost, travelling through different parts of the store until I finally came to a stop and decided to ask for help looking for this other redhead. I let out an irritated sigh, but then looked to my left to see... toilets? Why the hell was I here at toilets? I highly doubted Axel's brother would be in the toilet section. I just didn't seem to fit, seeing how Axel was. If Axel's brother was anything like the redhead, he wouldn't be caught dead checking the stock of toilets.

Surprisingly, I saw a flash of red in the corner of my eye. I ran after where I saw it disappear to and skidded around the corner, trying hard not to run into the shelves, which I was known for doing. Then I saw him; the one that looked almost exactly like Axel, only older. He was probably 20-something, by the looks of him. But I was right; he wasn't checking the stock of toilets. He was... looking at himself in the reflection... Yep. That was Axel's brother alright.

I let out a sigh and shook my head before walking towards him. I just hoped that Axel wasn't this bad when I wasn't looking. I mean, c'mon! This guy was saying "Damn, I look good today. Wait a sec... What's that? Oh, nevermind. That was just the spot right there. Damn, I look good." What kind of kook does that? I let out a soft sigh and redhead up to tap his shoulder, which caused him to jump and spin towards me. He made an attempt to look casual, but I could tell that he was embarrassed. "Axel sent me to look for you. He's outside waiting for you," I informed, crossing my arms.

"Oh good. That means that you finally let me bring the stuff to the school," he teased with a smirk, ruffling my hair. I frowned. Ok, Axel didn't do that often, but he was cocky every now and then. That's when I decided that _this_ guy was worse. He was even cockier than Axel. I highly doubted he could even care for anyone. "Let me just go tell my boss that I'm stepping out for a bit to help a customer." I nodded and when he motioned for me to follow, I did. While I was following him, I began to wonder to myself why I hadn't been shy. Just as we neared the office, I decided that it was because he was Axel's brother, which meant that I could probably trust him.

He told me to wait outside the door and so I obeyed and waited outside the door, though I could see inside. He was talking to some blonde guy in a wheelchair, who I could only presume was the boss, considering that there was nobody else inside the office. When they were done talking, the redhead began to walk out, but was stopped when the blonde grabbed his arm. I heard him say something that sounded like "you forgot something" and Reno turned back to the blonde with a smirk. The next thing that happened completely threw me off. The redhead leaned down and actually _kissed_ his boss. I quickly looked away and backed away only slightly, pretending that I hadn't seen them. When the redhead came back, I merely looked up at him.

"Sorry. Had to tell Rufus that I was going or else he'd kick my ass," he said. Yeah... Highly doubt that there, buddy. The guy had a wheelchair, for crying out loud! How _could_ he kick your ass if he couldn't even walk? I shrugged the thoughts away and merely nodded, following him outside. The only reason why I followed him was because I was lost and had no idea where I was in that store. I smiled when I saw Axel and quickly walked over to him, standing beside him. My smile faded as he walked right past me and to his brother, who he had called "Reno". They talked for a moment as I stood by and watched them, not even paying attention to the words that they said; I was too lost in my thoughts.

I was completely silent, feeling as if I was just melting into the background. I realized that this was exactly what had happened with Hayner, Pence, and Olette only a few years before Hayner and I had started dating. But unlike then, Reno and Axel didn't leave me like Hayner, Pence, and Olette had. Instead, Axel looked at me with a smile I had never seen before and motioned for me to follow as his brother walked away. I hesitated slightly, but he sighed and walked over to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me along as he walked after his brother, who was pushing the cart towards a red truck.

It took a while, but Axel, Reno, and I had finally gotten everything up to the attic. Of course, I didn't let Reno know where our hideout was and left at him at the top of the stairs, but hey; he still helped carry the stuff up. So I guess I had to thank him for that. After saying our thanks one last time to Axel's brother, he left. I helped Axel carrying the rest of the supplies to the Sanctuary, having to take a few trips. Once we were done with that, I collapsed onto the couch and leaned back. I closed my eyes for a bit, but opened them when Axel chuckled.

"Tired?" he asked. I looked in front of me at the couch he usually sat on, but realized the voice was from somewhere else. I looked to my right to see Axel sitting right next to me. His hair was pulled back in ponytail so that his neck could have some cool air from the fan we had brought into the room not even a minute ago. I nodded lightly. "Yeah... Just a bit. Realized that those planks of wood and buckets of paint were a lot heavier than I thought," I replied with a soft laugh. Axel sighed and shook his head, looking at the planks and buckets of paint I had mentioned. "Yeah. They are pretty heavy when you have to take a lot of trips," he said. He looked back at me as I continued to look up at him. "You didn't have to carry all that, y'know. It's not that hard to overwork your body. You're weak enough as it is," he pointed out.

I looked down at my feet. Great. Scolded again... But for some reason, I didn't mind. Unlike when my mother scolded me, I didn't feel annoyed. Instead, I felt a bit... guilty. And... happy? Was I happy that Axel was worrying me or something? Or were the effects of bringing everything up here still getting to me and making me feel accomplished? I shrugged the thoughts off mentally and looked back up at Axel after a moment of silence. "Sorry, Axel. I just wanted to help," I said with an apologetic smile. To my surprise, Axel had chuckled and ruffled my hair. My hands instinctively flew up to cover my hair as I ducked away, 'fixing' my hair. What? I didn't like people touching it. Wait... Did I already explain that? I can't remember if I did or not. Anyway, I had no idea why I was surprised. Axel was always pretty easy-going and laidback. It was no wonder why he had forgiven me so easily. "Once you're ready, we'll get to taking all the furniture out and replacing the walls," he said. I nodded and stood up, laughing softly when Axel raised an eyebrow. "You're ready already?" Axel asked. I nodded again. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be? Now let's finish this place up," I replied. Axel agreed and together we took out all the furniture in the room. Save for the fan, that is. We used that to keep ourselves cool as we cleaned out the attic.

It took quite a while and the sun was already setting when we finished putting in the last plank of dark oak wood on the floor, but we had finally gotten it all done. Most the work had been done by Axel at first as I just held it in place so that he could get it nailed there, but then I had asked if I could learn how to nail them in place and everything else. He agreed and taught me everything I needed to know for today and began to help him. After we got the wall done, we moved on to the floor. It was fun, taking out the floorboards. We wore heavy gloves so that we wouldn't get splinters and just ripped the floor apart. Well, not literally. It was a lot of work, but it had paid off - trust me. We then had to put the wooden planks down on the floor and secure them in place. Again, Axel did most of the work. This time, I knew how, but he wouldn't let me. He kept telling me that I shouldn't be overworking my body and let me just hand him the planks of wood. At least I helped out a little...

Soon after every piece of wood was in place with only a few left over, we put down a plastic cover to protect the wood while we painted the walls an off-white color. I picked up a paint brush that looked very much like a roller from the kitchen. I had never painted before in my life, so I had never known that such an object ever existed. Surprisingly, I knew how to use it right off the bat without Axel teaching me. But despite that, I pretended not to know how to use it. I looked over at Axel with a confused face. He laughed softly and walked over to me, standing right behind me. He grabbed me right hand and dipped the rolling paint brush into the silver tray filled with paint. "It's easy to use, Rox. Just do this," he said before he led my hand towards the wall until the paintbrush touched it. He then brought it down and back up before he pulled my hand and the paintbrush away from the wall. "Just like that," he said softly as he let go of me and backed away. I nodded with a slight blush on my cheeks. I didn't even know why the blush was there. It just appeared suddenly when Axel had stood right behind me.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize I was staring at Axel, who was currently painting below the lighter wood that lined the wall so that we wouldn't have to worry about getting paint on the wood. The only reason I had realized I was watching him was because the ladder he was standing on was wobbling and then tipping. I was going to say something about the wobbling, but it was too late. I winced as the ladder fell to the side, sending the redhead crashing downwards. My eyes widened as I realized just _where_ he was landing. I backed up and was about to run out of the way, but it was already too late. I let out a yell of surprise as I tumbled backwards, grunting when my back hit the floor. No matter how light Axel was, it would always hurt if he fell on me. Even though he had never fallen on me before... Ah, whatever. Point is, he fell on me. Not on my leg of on my arm, _on_ me; meaning that I couldn't sit up even if I wanted to.

"Ugh... You okay, Roxas?" I heard him ask. I opened my eyes, which I hadn't even known were closed before, and looked straight up at him. I no longer felt his weight on me, which wasn't much at all. I glanced around quickly, noticing instantly that his hands were on both sides of my head. I forced down the blush and nodded softly. Thankfully, my blush hadn't shown through. Or if it did, Axel didn't say anything about it. I tried to move my legs a bit, but they only ran into a knee on each side. Okay, I was trapped... Pinned down, if you will. At least he wasn't laying on me anymore. I looked up at Axel again, my blush becoming a little bit apparent when I noticed how close his face was to mine. "My back hurts a bit, but I'm fine," I said softly. Axel nodded to show that he was listening and not just off in his own world.

A moment of silence slipped between us two and I could tell that Axel was debating about something. About what, I had no idea. All I knew was that he arguing with himself and having a hard time deciding on something. I could see the fight in his eyes. If only I could tap into his brain like my brother could mine... He moved slightly and at first, I thought he was getting up, but then I noticed that his face was even closer than before. Not only that, but he wasn't stopping and he had closed his eyes. Now I knew exactly what he was doing. Funny thing is, I accepted and my boy acted on its own accord. I lifted up my head a bit and closed my eyes, supporting myself with my elbows as I lifted my body slightly.

I knew exactly what he was doing. What I was doing... I had no idea. Our lips met and I found myself pressing back into the gentle kiss. To my surprise, it didn't stop there. When I felt him part his lips, m lips did the same. Unlike what it was with Hayner, I actually shivered when he deepened the kiss. It felt a lot more than what Hayner's kisses felt like. This one wasn't demanding and I could tell easily that Axel wasn't trying to take over. And it certainly wasn't possessive. Instead, it was gentle and... dare I say it, loving. I was surprised that I could actually tell the difference between the two. But then again, this whole thing was surprising for me.

Before I knew it, Axel was pulling away. Truthfully, I didn't want the kiss to end, but I stayed quiet and allowed Axel to break the kiss. I opened my eyes to find emerald eyes staring _right_ into mine, causing my cheeks to heat up only slightly. I forced myself to look away and lowered my head again, focusing my eyes on a nearby paint bucket. I remained completely silent, not sure of what to say. I heard a soft sigh and looked back up at Axel, who had sat up. I sat up and backed away a bit as an instinct. "Sorry, Rox. I just... I don't know," he said softly.

I shook my head. "It's okay. It was just a spur of the moment. Nothing more. It happens to a lot of people, even if they're not in love with each other," I said before I stood up. He looked up at me and looked like he was about to say something, but then changed his words completely. "Right. Just a spur of the moment thing," he said with a soft smile. I didn't return the smile at all. I could tell that despite the mask he wore, he was rather... sad? Axel sad? An apocalypse must be coming or something. I had never seen the redhead sad, let alone mask his emotions like that. I walked over to him and helped him up, patting his shoulder. I pretended to not notice the sadness and smiled up at him, patting his shoulders. "Right. As I said, they happen all the time. Especially between two friends. Just because it seems like the right moment. Doesn't exactly mean anything," I said, though I felt like I was lying to him.

I walked back to the try and paintbrush I had set down when I noticed Axel was about to fall before I picked them back up. I began to paint once more, glancing over at Axel to see that he was setting the ladder up again. I just hope he didn't fall again... I sighed inaudibly and returned to my painting. I noticed the eerie silence that had settled over the both of us. It troubled me that I could feel the sadness that we both shared. I wasn't seeing only Axel's sadness, but mine as well. A part of me was telling me that I should just dump Hayner and go out with Axel, but the other part argued and said that it was just a spur of moment. I listened to the more sane part and began to convince myself. I wasn't in love with Axel. At all. He may help me more than anybody else possibly could and I loved that, but it was only the comfort that I loved. I didn't love Axel. I had Hayner. Hayner was my boyfriend. Though he was abusive and probably even sex-crazed, he still loved me. Or at least liked me enough to date me.

I repeated the same things over and over in my head. I said that it was just a phase and a one-time thing; that it wasn't real. After I got one wall completely painted, I had convinced myself that I felt nothing towards Axel. I had even convinced myself that he had no feelings for me. He was just a best friend that was merely trying to make me feel actually loved. Friends do that. ... Right? I had finally been able to calm down the part that was screaming I loved him (thankfully), but it was still there. I pushed it away when I noticed just how quiet Axel was being. I paused and looked over at the other, who was painting the opposite wall from me. "Axel?" I asked softly, my voice travelling over to him. He paused and looked back at me. "Yeah?" he replied. I hesitated slightly, trying to see if I could tell what he was feeling. "Are you okay...?" I questioned, putting more worry in my tone than I had meant to. To my surprise, he nodded and smiled. "Yeah, of course I am. Just thinking if we should redo the stairs, too," he said, motioning to the stairs.

I didn't believe him at first, but I nodded anyway. I looked over at the stairs, noticing how dark they looked compared to the wood we had put in. I looked back over at Axel and nodded. "I think we should. And the walls around the stairs. They're splintering really badly," I pointed out. "We don't have to paint that wall. We could just leave it with the oak color of the natural wood so that we don't have more to paint." He thought for a moment before nodding with a smile, which I returned. "Good idea, Rox. That would easier." I returned the smile and went back to painting, thankful that I had lightened the mood. I also felt proud that I had suggested another good idea.

Thankfully, we had started up conversation once more of what type of wood we should use for the wall near the stairs. We soon agreed that we should just go ahead and paint that wall as well so that it didn't seem too out of place. After we had decided on what to do, we finished up painting the walls and decided to bring the furniture back in. It took a while, but we soon got everything back into the attic. The sun was long gone behind the horizon. We were both surprised that we had gotten that much done and I hadn't just passed out. After he started scolding me for not sleeping enough, I assured him that everything would be fine and I wouldn't pass out randomly tomorrow. He didn't seem very convinced, but he dropped the subject anyway.

"We still have more to do, Rox," he pointed out as he looked around. We were careful not to touch the walls, knowing that they were wet. I nodded as I sat on the larger couch, watching him. "I know. We still need to clean the window, buy new furniture, and fix up the stair area," I listed off, feeling smart for some odd reason. He nodded as he looked around once more. I did the same, making sure that I had listed everything that we needed to do. "You forgot something." I looked at him when I heard these words. I knew I did... "What? What'd I forget?" I asked. "We need to replace all the light bulbs." I slapped my forehead. Damn, I was an idiot... I laughed lightly. "Right. Light bulbs. But we're going to have new lamps, anyway. So I thought it was better left unsaid," I replied with a shrug.

He refused having me work on the room tomorrow and such, so we agreed to do everything after school on Monday and just rest tomorrow. It seemed reasonable enough. After we decided that it was time to go home, Axel walked me home. Apparently he didn't trust me walking by Hayner's house... But I agreed with him. I was always fearful that Hayner would tug me inside. We said our goodbyes when I had gotten to the door and I went straight to my room. But for some reason, when I lay down to go to bed, I couldn't sleep. At all. I felt like I was missing something. No, not something... Someone. Then I realized; I was missing _Axel._ I had seen him only a few seconds ago and I was already missing his company. I sighed and buried myself under the covers. "I'm not in love with him," I whispered softly before I drifted off to sleep.

**~*I fell in love. In love with you suddenly. Now there's no place else. I could be brave in your arms.*~ **


	5. Everything You Want

I had woken up that morning with a slight headache. I took some Tylenol for it and then completely pushed it aside. I started my school day as I always did every day, though my mind was elsewhere. Part of my brain was focusing on Axel yet again. Ever since we had kissed a few days ago, I couldn't get him out of my mind. But now, I had something else on my mind... I wasn't feeling like myself today. I was pretty out of it. It started yesterday when I woke up. I could hardly walk to my door without stumbling and falling. Only when my brother had come inside had I been able to walk. I kept passing out from how weak I felt. My brother soon forced me to go to bed and so I slept the whole day. But before I had gone to sleep, I told Axel that I wouldn't be able to see him until school.

Now today was school and I was looking forward to seeing him. I wanted to see him more than I probably should have. I pushed the thoughts away, thankful that I felt at least a little stronger today. I quickly walked all the way to school and inside, afraid of passing out on the sidewalk. I made my way to the Sanctuary, surprised to see Axel already there. I carefully climbed the splintered steps after I silently set my bag down near the door, planning on surprise attacking him. I smirked at the thought of scaring him finally, but it faded when I began to sway. I braced myself against the rail; bad idea. I pulled my hand away as I felt sharp stings pricking at my skin. That was another bad idea. Now that I had nothing to support myself with, I began to sway once more. I stumbled back in an attempt to steady myself, but my foot only found air. My eyes widened as I tilted backwards, trying to see anything through my blurred vision. I felt the sharp pain of the stairs hitting my side before my whole world turned black.

I had no idea what had happened. The last thing I knew, I was tumbling down the stairs. But now, I felt a soft cushion below me. I shifted slightly, but noticed that my hand couldn't move. Someone was grabbing my wrist. I opened my eyes to see that I was now lying down on the couch I called mine; the longer couch. I sat up, but was instantly pushed back down. "Hold still, Rox," said a voice. I looked down at Axel and nodded, noticing the needle in his hand. Then I realized what he was doing; he was getting out all the splinters from my hand. I watched him silently, but my stomach twisted when he said nothing more and didn't even glance up at me. Had I done something wrong? "Can I at least sit up so it's easier for you to take them out?" I asked softly. Axel looked at me, causing my stomach to relax a bit. At least he looked at me... Now I could tell that he wasn't mad or anything. He pulled the needle away and nodded. I sat up carefully, feeling dizzy as I did so. I leaned back against the cushion and closed my eyes, tilting my head back. God, I felt tired... You know that headache from this morning? Yeah. It wasn't gone. In fact, it was worse.

He finished up getting out all the splinters from my hand, but he didn't let go. "Rox," he said softly. I didn't want to at first, but I soon opened my eyes and looked at him. He had a small frown... That wasn't good. "What happened? You've never fallen down those stairs before," Axel pointed out. I hesitated before I shrugged. "I got dizzy and fell. Nothing much," I replied with a small smile. Hopefully he would believe me... Seems like he did. "Are you okay enough to stand?" I nodded again and stood up, trying hard not to brace myself on the couch when I got dizzy again. But the odds were against me, it seemed. I fell to the floor, lying on my side. I instantly pushed myself back up, using the couch arm to help me stay steady. "Roxas... Are you absolutely sure you're okay?" he asked. I nodded yet again and stood up strait. I no longer felt dizzy and I felt like I had my strength back. "Yeah. I'm fine, Axel," I said with a small smile, though I didn't know if I could believe even myself. Before he could even speak, the bell rang, signaling that it was time to go to first period. "I gotta get to class. I'll text you if I need you," I said before I walked down the stairs and out of the attic.

I instantly went to my first period without hesitation, though I wanted to go back and just talk with Axel some more. I ignored the feeling and walked into the French classroom. I sat down in my usual spot and got out my French binder, my book, and a pencil. We were always expected to be ready for class, so I was. Scratch that. The whole class was. No big deal. But about a quarter of the way through, my sight became blurred and everything seemed far away. I blinked off the blurring and my sense of hearing came back on its own. I ignored it for another quarter of the class, thankful I had made it that far without my sight becoming blurred again. But I had spoken too soon. Soon after I thought that, my vision darkened and became blurry once more. Everything seemed far away again. Then I realized that my eyes were closing, though most of my body felt numb and weak at the same time. Without my meaning to, my body fell to the side and hit the floor. I watched through blurred, half lidded eyes as Madame Kyler rushed over to me. I could see that she was shouting out orders, but I couldn't hear any of them. They sounded way too far away. The only thing I could hear was my shallow, forced breathing. I knew I wasn't getting enough air, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't breathe. I tried to force my eyes to stay open, but I could no longer do even that. Even my sense of touch seemed to fade away when I allowed my eyes to finally close.

**~*Axel's POV*~**

Four hours had passed since I had last seen Roxas. He had been in such a hurry to leave, I knew something was up. He wasn't ok like he said he was. Something was up. What that something was, I had no idea. I was planning on asking him the next time I saw him, but everytime I went up to the Sanctuary, he was never there. It seemed way too odd. Roxas was always there between second and third periods. But today, he wasn't at all. I kept checking my phone every ten minutes, but I had no text messages from him. I texted Roxas often, trying to get him to answer me. I got no reply back. I had begun to worry. What if something had happened to him and I wasn't told? I could hardly pay attention in class, no matter what I did. I ended up spending the whole entire fourth period in the Sanctuary, just waiting.

I looked up from my phone as the bell rang, signaling for lunch to begin. I wanted to stay and wait for Roxas, but somehow I knew he wasn't going to come. Had I done something wrong? Was it because of that kiss a few days ago? Ever since then, he seemed to have been avoiding me. No, that wasn't it. He seemed weaker than usual when I saw him today, even though he had slept all day yesterday... I shook the thoughts from my mind and stood up, shoving my phone in my pocket with my wallet. I walked down the stairs and exited the attic, deciding to leave my backpack there. It wasn't like anybody would steal it; nobody could ever get in. I looked around the hallways for a moment, but I couldn't spot Roxas through the crowd. How hard was it to find a 5'3" teenager who had blonde hair that stuck up just about everywhere?

I pushed the thoughts away and walked down to the cafeteria. It took a while, but I had finally found his brother. If anybody knew what had happened to Roxas, it would definitely be him. "Sora, can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked when I got close enough. He seemed to hesitate as he glanced at his friends, but to my relief, he nodded. He got up and followed me away from the table and to a place that was free of people, though it wasn't too far from the table. At least we could still see them. "Where's Roxas? I haven't seen him all day," I said, making sure that nobody else could hear me. Well, except for Sora. Sora could hear me, thankfully. He hesitated for another moment. What was with all the hesitation? "I promised not to tell where he went. I'm sorry, Axel," he said before he ran off. I was about to shout after him, but he was already gone and back with his friends, who hurried away, causing me to frown. Apparently I wasn't supposed to know... Well, they were surely doing a good job at making sure I didn't know anything. But I was stubborn. Way too stubborn.

I spent the rest of the afternoon wondering around, asking various people what had happened. I got some information out of a few close friends who shared a few classes with Roxas. From what I could put together from the pieces my friends gave me, Roxas had passed out during French class and had trouble breathing. I decided to go to the nurse's office. When I asked the main nurse there, she said that she didn't have any blonde boy come in at all, especially not the one I described. I groaned in aggravation as I sat down on one of the benches in the courtyard underneath the large tree. I let out a sigh as I looked up at the sky, noticing that it was turning dark grey. It was going to storm soon... And with the luck we've been having here... Yep. There it is... The slow rumble of thunder came to my ears, though it was soft. I then remembered how I had scared Roxas rather recently when I left him alone during a thunder storm. I leaned back against the back of the bench and closed my eyes, my head tilted up towards the sky. "Roxas... Where are you...?" I asked softly, unaware that somebody had been listening.

I jumped as a new voice penetrated through my thoughts. I snapped my eyes open and looked over at the one who had said my name. I waved slightly. "Hey, Dem. Go ahead and sit down," I said. I raised an eyebrow as he shook his head, silently questioning him as to why he didn't want to sit down. He hesitated before he spoke in his nervous way. "It's about Roxas..." Okay, that got my attention. The only reason he knew Roxas was because he shared PE with both me and Rox, though the smaller blonde would always sit out. The doctors said that his body was too weak to participate in a lot of the activities, so he was forced to sit out. Sometimes I would pretend to sprain an ankle just so that I could sit down and talk to him. "Go on," I said when I noticed Demyx hadn't continued. "He's... He was rushed to the hospital this morning. In first period. He hasn't been back ever since." My heart practically stopped at those words. Roxas' condition had gotten that bad? Since when? I stared up at Demyx in disbelief before I shot up from the bench, standing in front of him. "Where? Which hospital? Where is he?" I asked, one question right after the other. "The one nearest to here if you go that way. It's still pretty far," he replied before he pointed in the direction of the hospital he was talking about.

I didn't even thank him or give myself time to think before I took off in a sprint. I ignored Demyx's calls for me to come back. I didn't care that I was breaking the school's rules; I always did. So what was new? I ran off campus and down the street as fast as I could. I didn't even slow down until I had gotten through the doors of the hospital. I forced myself to walk, though it was at a very fast pace. I stopped near the front desk. "What room is Roxas Amrai in?" I asked the nurse, trying to regain my breath as I spoke. She calmly turned to her computer and typed in the name, remaining as calm as she could possibly be. It was almost scary how calm these nurses could be... "Room 1308. First floor, middle hallway, fourth door on the right," she informed. I quickly thanked her before I walked towards the room she had told me. It didn't take me long to find it inside the large hospital, thanks to the nurse's directions. I pushed open the door and peered inside. My stomach twisted at what I saw.

Lying on the bed was the blonde I was desperately looking for. Sure, that was normal for a patient to lie on the bed, but his eyes were closed and there was an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. I closed the door silently behind me as I walked into the small room. I strode over to the bed and stood next to it, looking down at the face I had grown so accustomed to seeing. I sat down in the chair next to the bed and silently watched the blonde sleep. I reached out, gently stroking Roxas' head. "Roxy... What happened to you...?" I asked softly. I didn't know how long I was sitting there, stroking his head, but I pulled away my hand when I heard someone walk inside. The doctor didn't even glance at me as he checked the machines near Roxas and wrote down a few notes. When he turned to leave, I stood up and decided to speak. "What's wrong with him? Why won't he wake up? What happened?" I asked. I hadn't expected to ask that many questions; they just escaped from me. He looked over at me and sighed before he looked down at Roxas.

"Roxas Amrai is weaker than he has ever been before. With where he is now, his body can't have any strain on it or else it will shut down," the doctor had replied. My stomach twisted as I looked back down at the blonde. I listened to the retreating footsteps, tears burning in my eyes. I carefully grabbed Roxas' hand, sitting down again. "Please, Roxas... Please don't die..." I whispered softly before I lifted his hand and pressed a gentle kiss on the back. "I need you..." I closed my eyes and held the hand close to my cheek as I let the tears slip out. I knew exactly why I was crying. I knew I could never bear it if Roxas had passed away, especially now with how close I had gotten to the fragile blonde. I had never realized just _how_ fragile he truly was. "Axel... Stop crying. You look like an idiot," said a soft voice.

**~*Roxas' POV*~**

I kept my eyes focused on the ceiling, though even that seemed blurry. Why the hell would the ceiling be blurry? It was just a ceiling. There was barely any detail to it. The only reason why I knew Axel was crying was because I could feel the tears against my hand. My senses were coming back to me slowly, but the first thing I felt was warm hands wrapped around mine, making mine feel as if they were small. I moved my hand slightly, weakly patting Axel on the cheek. "I told you to stop crying. Now you're crying even more. You really are an idiot," I said softly. I soon found myself in Axel's arms. I automatically wrapped my arms around his body, though I found it hard to do both because of my weakness and the oxygen mask that didn't allow me to rest my chin on his shoulder. I felt a soft kiss being pressed below my ear when Axel pulled away. Thankfully, he didn't let me fall. Instead, he lowered me back onto the bed. I closed my eyes when I felt him brushing away some of my bangs. "How are you feeling?" he asked. "Like I'm far away from everything and everyone," I replied simply. I heard a soft sigh and I opened my eyes again. I noticed that he was rather close to me, hovering over me from his spot on the chair. It made me feel... happy that someone cared so much about me that they had come here.

"Now I have a question for you. How'd you know where I was?" I asked. At that very instant, I saw hesitation in his eyes. But he soon showed it by his actions. He looked away slightly and didn't speak for a moment. He soon looked back at me. "I don't want to rat anybody out, but a few friends were willing to give some information. Then one told me where you had gone," he replied. I merely nodded and closed my eyes, feeling Axel's hand gently squeeze mine. A moment of silence slipped between the two of us, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It was more of the silence that was shared between two very good friends who knew that they didn't need words to speak. Because of that comfortable silence, I was able to slowly drift off to sleep once more.

I woke up a few hours later to hear the doctor talking to my mother. I didn't open my eyes, knowing that if I did, the conversation would be taken somewhere else and I would never be told. I listened silently to the conversation that was going on. "How much longer does he have to put up with it?" I could tell that the voice was my mother's. I knew that voice way too well to get it confused with somebody else's. I heard a deep sigh. "His body is growing weaker and weaker. It's no longer steady like it used to be. It seems that his condition is worsening at an alarming speed. At the rate that it's going now... I'm afraid that your son doesn't have much more time left to live." There was a moment of eerie silence before my mother finally spoke. "How... How long?" "At this rate, his body will be too weak to perform simple tasks, such as breathing or keep the heart beating. I estimate that he will only have six more months to live before his body shuts down." I could feel my breath hitch at these words. I didn't want to die. Not yet... I was only 15. I had so much more that I could do. It couldn't end this way... I felt a few tears slip down my cheeks as I heard the door close, signaling that the two adults had exited the room.

The next day, I was released from the hospital. I had to argue with my mom to get her to let me go to school. I left quickly and without a word to her, wanting to see only one person. I had to tell him what I had heard last night. I couldn't keep it locked up forever. I didn't care if it was a good hour before the people even began to arrive at school. I pulled out my cell phone and quickly texted Axel, telling him to meet me at the Sanctuary ASAP. As I suspected, I was the first one there. But I hadn't expected to see that the Sanctuary was now finished completely. The stairs had been redone and new furniture had been put into the room already. Even the stuff that the school had stored up there had been moved to the basement. I dropped my bag near the door and ran my hand along the wooden hand rail. This one felt so smooth compared to the old one... I walked up the new steps and into the main part of the Sanctuary. Everything looked so... beautiful. Everything was set up exactly how it had been before. I drew the curtains and put the pin in the middle before I flicked on the lamps. I paused as I noticed the light that was hung in the middle of the room. I walked over to the stairs again, finding a slider near them. I pushed it up a bit, watching as the light grew brighter the more I pushed it up. "Wow..." I whispered softly.

"It's nice, isn't it?" The sudden voice caused me to jump. I whirled around to face the speaker, relaxing when I noticed that it was just Axel. I nodded as I looked around the room. I was... I was speechless; completely speechless. I looked back at Axel. "You did all this?" I asked softly. Sure, I already knew the answer, but at least it was something to say... He nodded with a small, victorious smirk. I watched him walk over to the cushion chair, sitting down on it. "Yep, sure did. It took a while, but I got everything done." I hesitated before I sat on the three-cushioned couch. I was surprised with how soft and comfortable it was compared to the old one. I settled back into the couch with a small smile I hadn't even realized had formed. I looked over at Axel and the smile fell instantly, remembering exactly why I had called him here so early. I crossed my arms and settled back into the couch, looking away. "I love what you did while I was in the hospital yesterday... I really do. But... I won't be around for much longer..." I said softly, though I knew he could hear me. I could feel his confused gaze on me.

"You're moving...?" he asked, just as soft. I hesitated before I sat back even more against the cushions. I shook my head. "No... I can't travel. Not with the way my body is now," I replied. I hesitated once more. I really didn't want to be the bearer of bad news... "I... don't have much more time to live... Axel... The doctor said that I-I only have six more months until my body is... too weak to even keep my heart beating." As I spoke, my voice became shakier and shakier as I continued. Tears welled up in my eyes again and slipped down my cheeks. A moment of silence slipped between us once more, but it was nothing like the silence back at the hospital. I looked up at Axel when he stood up, watching him walk over to the couch and hold out his hand towards me. "C'mon, Rox... Let's go outside. I have some food. You should really eat something..." he said softly. I nodded and grabbed his hand, pulling myself up with his hand. I instantly latched onto him, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my head into his chest. "I don't want to die... I don't want to die, Axel. I want to stay here. Right here," I said, my voice shaking due to how much I was crying now.

I felt strong arms wrap around me and pull me closer. "You're not going to die, Rox. You're going to live. I promise," I heard. I shook my head. "I'm not. The doctor said that I'm going to die in six months," I replied, currying my head deeper into his chest. He stroked my hair and held me close as I cried, though I could tell that he, too, wanted to cry. We had gotten so close over the three years that we had known each other. If either of us had passed away at any time, we would be depressed for weeks, maybe even months. I knew that. I knew that more than anything. But now I was told that I was going to die in only six months. I didn't want to leave Axel alone at all. I didn't know how long I had been crying, but all my tears had been used up and my eyes now hurt. I wiped away the tears left on my cheek and he led me out of the Sanctuary and out into the courtyard of the school, near the bus drop-off. But he didn't stop there. He continued to lead me off of campus and down a few streets until we had come to an empty park that I had never visited, despite the fact that it was across the street from my house. It consisted of mostly trees, but there was a small clearing where a playground was located. I remained completely silent as he led me to a large tree near the playground. I watched as he sat down, but I was soon pulled down next to him.

"This is where I used to go before I met you. Whenever I needed to escape to somewhere, I would go here," he told me. I nodded to show I was listening and leaned against the tree. I still remained completely silent as I looked up at the sky. I scooted closer to Axel and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. Right now, all I wanted was to be comforted and feel like someone actually cared for me. My mother didn't even seem to be phased by the fact that I was going to die. My brother knew nothing about it and I couldn't bear to tell my own brother that I wasn't going to be there for him anymore. I closed my eye and leaned my head against the tree, my head tilted towards the sky.

"Hey, Rox... I have something to tell you," I heard, causing me to open my eyes and look at Axel again. Only then did I notice that he had moved his arm away from my shoulders. His eyes were focused on the grass we sat on. I motioned for him to continue, knowing that he could still see my actions from the corner of his eye. "I... didn't know it at first, but I've actually fallen for you," he said in a soft tone. I felt my cheeks heat up and I looked down at the grass as well. I paused for a moment before I let out a soft sigh. I picked a blade of glass and began to play with it as I spoke, "You know we'll never be together, Axel... Even if we were, I wouldn't be around for much longer. It would be completely useless. Besides... I already have a boyfriend." I continued to play with the blade of grass, but soon dropped it. I picked a dandelion instead, blowing at the seeds on the stem. "I know you do. But you don't care for him, do you?" I froze at those words. Well, that was true... I laughed softly and shook my head. "You got me on that one, Axel. But you're right; I don't care for him anymore," I replied. "Then who _do_ you care for? I know there has to be someone." I hesitated and played with the bare stem. Truthfully, I didn't know who I cared for. I sighed softly and shook my head. "You know... I never really thought about who I care for," I said. "So I can't give you a straight answer yet."

I looked over at Axel to see what his expression was, dropping the stem onto the ground next to me. He hesitated a bit before he spoke. "Then why do you still date Hayner if you don't like him...?" he asked. What was with all the questions? I sighed and looked out across the park. "I don't know anymore. I guess I'm afraid of what he would do if I did break up with him," I said softly. Both Axel and I had become completely silent. I watched the wind play with the trees, feeling rather sad that I wouldn't have much time to see them, let alone see anybody or anything here. "Hey, Rox?" I looked over at Axel when he spoke. "I don't care if you have only six months to live. Who knows? Maybe you'll pull through. I know a few people who were told they were going to die, but had survived. And I know you're afraid of breaking up with Hayner, but I promise I'll protect you from him. He can never get to you when I'm here. So just break up with him," he said. I hesitated. A part of me was screaming for me to go with Axel's idea, but another was screaming that it was the wrong idea and I would pay for it later. No, not just me; Axel too. Still, I listened to the first voice. "Alright. I'll break up with him. I won't even see him as friends anymore," I said.

Axel chuckled and leaned forward. I didn't know why, but I closed my eyes when I felt his lips near mine. "I would want nothing more, Rox," he said softly before he close the gap between our lips. I happily returned it without even thinking about it, wrapping my arms around his neck loosely. It wasn't too long before the both of us had decided to deepen the kiss. It was just like it was before, when we both had first kissed. I just figured that it was just the right moment again; there was nothing between Axel and me. I jumped when I heard a yell of pain and felt Axel pull away. I then realized that the shout of pain was from Axel, just when he collapsed into my lap. I shook him a bit, noticing that his eyes were closed. "Axel? Axel?" I asked, worried. "Ngh... That was a hard hit..." he muttered. I looked up to see who had hit him hard enough to cause him to fall and of course, standing practically right behind him was Hayner, who looked like he was ready to kill someone. I glared at him and pulled Axel closer to me, intent on keeping him safe until he regain his strength. There was no way I was going to let my best friend get hurt without me doing something about it. "Go away, Hayner!" I snapped. I let out a yell of surprise when he snatched my arm and tugged me to my feet, causing me to let go of Axel. "Let go of me!" I yelled, trying hard to pull away. No luck... "No! Roxas, we're going home! I'm your boyfriend, not him!" he yelled back. "No! Hayner, let go! He's not my boyfriend! And you're not my boyfriend anymore!" "What?" Hayner stopped pulling and looked at me with a confused expression. "You heard me right! You're not my boyfriend anymore. I'm breaking up with you. You're an abusive bastard who won't let me do anything without your permission!" I yelled, fighting to get away.

He frowned at me and began to tug me again. My face turned pale when I noticed exactly where he was pulling me; his house. That surely didn't mean that he was just going to talk... "You're mine. You will always be mine. I'm going to prove that to you and mark you as my own," he said with determination. "No! Hayner, stop!" I yelled in horror. I planted my feet firmly on the ground and struggled to get away; no use. My body was way too weak. I probably shouldn't even be fighting in my condition. I was proved right when I began coughing. At first, it was just small coughs, but they became more than just that and hurt my chest everytime I coughed. "Ha-Hayner! Let go!" I yelled when we were near the street. I managed to turn around and tried to run back to where Axel was, but it was to no avail. "Axel! Axel, help!" I called. Tears were forming from the fear of what I knew was going to happen.

I watched as he pushed himself off the ground and charged towards Hayner and I. He swung a powerful punch towards Hayner, but it was blocked and Axel was quickly swiped to his feet. As he was getting up, Hayner brought his hand down hard on the back of Axel's neck, causing him to fall. On the way down, Hayner punched up and his fist connected with Axel's stomach. Axel fell over on the ground, but quickly got back up. Hayner threw me to the side, but I managed to keep upright and supported myself against a tree. I watched through tear-filled eyes as Hayner and Axel fought. But all fights had to end. Hayner grabbed Axel's arm and tugged him forward before he hit Axel hard on a pressure point, causing him to collapse to the ground, unconscious. "Axel!" I called, but got no answer. I fought against Hayner and tried desperately to get away from him, but I couldn't. I was soon tugged across the street and into his house, the door closed and locked behind us.

_Time left to live: 6 months_

**~*I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be. I say all the right things at exactly the right time. But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why.*~**


	6. You And Me

I let out yet another almost-soundless grunt when he thrusted himself into me again. No matter what, I couldn't let any sounds escape. It was nowhere near pleasurable. It hurt like hell and I wished I could just get out of there. It felt like an eternity since I had been dragged into his room and stripped of all my clothing, but I knew it was only a few minutes ago. Everything had happened so fast, I didn't even have time to register it. All I knew was that once I was stripped naked, I was forced to the ground and Hayner was thrusting himself inside me with all his might only a few seconds later. I had grown too weak to fight back, despite how much I wanted to. Even if I did have enough strength, it wouldn't be enough. Axel was right; Hayner would take exactly what he wanted when he wanted it.

I felt tears of pain and sorrow roll down my cheeks. I bit the inside of my cheek in an attempt to not yell out in pain when he thrust back into me with as much force as he could. It was hard to do, but I managed to do it, though I felt a coppery taste in my mouth; blood. I let out startled gasp as I felt teeth dig into the crook of my neck. I almost let out a relieved sigh when the teeth pulled away, but managed to keep quiet. I felt a trail of liquid trail down my chest and back, coming from the two wounds that Hayner had caused. I flinched when I felt the other blonde trail his fingers across one of the back wounds (the one where he had dug his teeth into me), smearing the blood. "Feel this, Roxas? This is the mark that will remind you that you are mine and will always be," he said in my ear, causing me to shiver. It just sounded way too creepy, especially with the tone Hayner was using...

I didn't know where it had come from, but I suddenly had a boost of courage. It must've rubbed off from Axel... "I... I am not yours, Hayner," I said weakly, glaring at him the best I could. He frowned deeply and brought the back of his hand across my right cheek hard, causing my head to turn that way at a fast rate. My cheek stung so much that it felt as if it was on fire. "You are mine! You will always be mine and nobody else's, Roxas!" he snapped at me. Thankfully, he had pulled away from me, allowing me to cower over to an end table and huddle near it, for it was the closest to the corner and the farthest away from him. "You're wrong, Hayner," I said without even thinking; bad idea.

Next thing I knew, I was pinned to the floor with my hands above my head, leaving my whole body exposed. He crashed his lips against mine and forced his tongue inside my mouth, grinding his hips into mine, causing our members to rub against each other. He let out small grunts as he continued to do this, though they became more of thrusts. He then forced himself back into me, thrusting hard. He pulled himself halfway out before he slammed his hips back into mine, causing me to let out a whimper. He held my hands above my head and quickened his pace, letting out small grunts each time. He removed one of his hands and held both of my wrists wit one as he reached down to stroke my member. Like everything else, it was everything but pleasurable. He had a tight grip and he pumped hard, causing it to hurt. He timed it so that it matched his thrusts, but then stopped and pulled his hand away and pulled himself out. He broke the kiss and kissed along my jawline.

I felt so weak that I didn't even try to fight him at all anymore. Hell, I didn't even make a single sound. He then thrusted himself back into me with all the force he could muster. His hands let go of my wrists and began to explore my chest, digging his nails into my skin as he continued to trust. Apparently, he was enjoying himself. I couldn't say the same for me; I felt completely numb; broken, even. I couldn't even feel the scratches that riddled my skin. My eyes squinted as I felt light intrude into the previously dark room. Hayner was soon ripped off my body, but he pulled away from the person and managed to pick me up. He began to scream at me, saying that I had called him somehow before I was thrown to the side. I hit the wall, but I didn't make any sound. I fell to the floor on my side and didn't even move; I didn't want to. I watched as the two figures fought against each other, but Hayner was easily overpowered. He fell to the ground and didn't even move, though I could tell that he wasn't dead.

As the smaller form walked closer me, I could see exactly who it was. He took the sheet off of Hayner's bed next to me and wrapped it around my naked body. He lifted me up and made me rest my head against his shoulder, not that I didn't fight him. I didn't want to fight him. So I didn't. I completely trusted the other. So much so that I had let my eyes drift close. "Thanks, Sora..." I whispered softly. I felt the two of us moving, but I didn't open my eyes at all. "No problem, Rox... You don't have to thank me. You'll be okay," he replied just as soft. I saw light behind me eyelids, but I didn't bother opening them. I slowly drifted off to sleep, though I knew it wasn't because I was tired; it was from how weak I had become.

The next day, I woke up to the sound of my alarm. Before I could even turn it off, it turned off by itself. That wasn't normal... I turned around in my bed to face my room and opened my eyes to see Axel sitting there, looking back at me. He smiled at me and I weakly smiled back. "Hey. How ya doing?" he asked as he reached over and ruffled my hair. "I'm still in pain from what Hayner did to me and I feel completely weak," I said softly. Wow. Was that my voice? It sounded completely different from yesterday... It was shaky and weak, not to mention it sounded almost afraid. Axel sighed softly and shook his head, his smile replaced with a frown, which caused my smile to fade. He looked at me with... determination? I couldn't even tell... He reached over and grabbed my hand, though I don't think he had even realized this. "I promise I will never let him do that again, Roxas. He caught me off guard this time, but next time, I'll be ready," he said. I shook my head violently. "No, don't. He'll kill you if you let your guard down for only a second. He almost killed me," I argued softly, not liking the way my voice sounded. Hell, I had to practically the force the words out.

He gave me a confused look. I knew exactly what he was thinking. Hayner hadn't inflicted that much damage on me. The worse was the bite. Everything else was just scratches along my chest, sides, back, and near my hips. But those would heal soon. I probably had a bruise on my cheek, but that would heal faster than the scratches that decorated my body now. Even my ass didn't hurt as much as it did, surprisingly. Out of all the wounds on my body, that hurt the least and maybe it was even pretty much healed. Damn, my body is weird... I sighed softly and shook the thoughts from my head. "I have a weak body. I'm given six months to live, but with this, it might've been shorter and I would've become way too weak due to stress or injuries or anything like that," I replied the unspoken question. His frown deepened and I pulled the covers up a bit more, seeing that he had hatred and anger inside him. Heh. I love my 'ability' to see the emotions through somebody's actions and eyes.

He sighed and shook his head. "Is it okay if I see what exactly he did to you?" he asked softly as if the question would make me cry and he was trying his best not to sadden me. But emotionally, I was pretty strong when it came to talking. When it actually came down to it and I was right there, I wasn't too good with my emotions. If I had become too calm, I would feel completely empty and emotionless, as if I didn't have a heart to have emotions with it. The same thing happened if I became overly angry or sad; I would lose connection with the whole world and not care. I could even kill a person and I would feel nothing. Now, I've never killed someone, but that's just an example. I shrugged weakly. "Sure. But I can't get up... My body's too weak," I replied.

The next thing that had happened I hadn't even expected. He moved from the computer chair (which he had probably moved to be closer to me) to the bed, sitting down next to me. He carefully lifted me up into a sitting position, frowning when he noticed I was wearing a shirt. Again, I could tell _exactly_ what he was thinking. "I don't mind. I trust you won't do anything," I said, looking at him. He nodded and grabbed the bottom of my shirt while I sat completely still, slumped over a bit due to my weakness. He lifted the shirt up and over my head and I helped him a bit by lifting my arms.

His eyes widened when he saw the scratches that riddled my body. None of them bled anymore save for the bite. But because the bite was covered in a bandage, I couldn't tell it if was still bleeding. I was pretty sure that it was. He gingerly touched one of the scratches, causing me to flinch away. "Don't touch them... They're still a bit tender. They hurt more than normal because of how weak my body has become and the fact I couldn't feel them when I first got them. The pain's just now coming to me," I said in a soft tone, looking away. I knew I was almost scaring Axel. When I looked back over at him, I could tell that he was thinking that I had a shorter lifespan because of what had happened. I sighed, but said nothing as I looked down at the bed. Inside of touching the wounds, he touched around them. He turned my head a bit to see the scratches and bites Hayner had done to my neck. He then went for the bandage, but stopped. He looked over at me with a small, questioning gaze. I nodded and he lifted the bandage so that he could see the wound. His eyes widened even more when he saw the amount of blood on the bandage and how large the wound was.

"He did this to you...?" he asked softly. I nodded in confirmation. "Yeah... We went through a few bandages until the bleeding let up. It was pretty deep and bleeding a lot," I said just as soft, though it was mostly due to my weakness. He put the bandage back into place, careful not to hurt the wound more than it already did. But despite his efforts, pain shot through my body when he pressed the bandage down softly, causing me to grunt softly. "Sorry, Rox... I didn't mean to hurt you," he said softly as he carefully wrapped his arms around me, careful not to touch any of the wounds. I shook my head. "It's fine. That one hurts no matter what I do," I replied, reaching up and patting his arm a bit before letting my hand fall to my lap afterwards. He let go of me and began to examine the wounds, moving to the other side so that he could see the wounds on the other side of my body. Then it occurred to me; this was the first time Axel had seen me without a shirt on. Every time we had been near each other, I was either in the school uniform at school or in public with some type of shirt on. It didn't really bother me, but that was just a random thought that had entered my brain and didn't leave me alone.

He stopped examining my wounds and examined my face. He tilted it side to side and I sighed. "I don't have any wounds on my face, Axel. Except for the bruise on the right side of my cheek from where he hit me," I said with a soft frown. He nodded and I thought he was going to let go, but instead, he turned his head towards me and pressed his lips against mine. I didn't hesitate to return the kiss, closing my eyes. The gentle kiss was broken a few seconds later and I opened my eyes once more. I smirked at Axel. "You can't go two days without kissing me, can you?" I asked.

He laughed and shook his head, bringing his face back towards mine so that our lips were only inches apart. Still, I could see the playfully smirk that had crossed his lips as well. "Nope. Your lips are just that addicting, Rox. Even if I don't like sea-salt ice-cream as much as you do," he said softly before going in for another kiss. Again, I let him do this. I didn't know what had come over me in the past few days. Everytime he kissed me, I never wanted it to end. I found the strength to move a bit so that I faced him and wrapped my arms loosely around his neck. I shivered lightly when I felt his tongue against my lips, but I granted permission anyway. He hesitated, but I decided that it was my turn. I deepened the kiss, tilting my head to the side a bit so that our noses weren't in the way.

I wish the kiss had lasted longer, but just as he had pulled me closer carefully, the door had opened. I broke the kiss and turned my neck to see my brother standing the doorway, giving the both of us a shocked expression. I felt my cheek heat up and I smiled weakly. "Umm... Hi, Sora," I said softly, as if I was afraid that he would scold me. And don't get me wrong, I was afraid he was going to do so. He was quite known for scolding people, especially Riku who always seemed to be molesting him in some way when he thought nobody could see. I let one arm drop to my lap as he wandered over to the computer desk, my other arm still wrapped around Axel loosely. I hadn't even realized how close we were.

But what I did realize was the blush that had formed yet again when Sora had asked the most absurd question in history. "So you two are dating?" I shook my head and removed my other arm from Axel. I noticed that Axel helped me stay upright, though he was careful not o touch my wounds. "No... We're just friends-" I frown softly when Sora cut me off. "With benefits?" "No, Sora! Nothing like that. It was just a... spur of the moment thing. It happens to a lot of best friends," I replied, feeling my cheeks heat up even more. "Then why are you blushing?" "Everybody would blush with that type of question, Sora." He sighed and shook his head.

I glanced over at Axel, who remained completely silent. He had turned his attention to my covers, pretended that the large grey and dark grey checkered pattern of the comforter was interesting, which I was pretty sure I wasn't. I looked over at Sora again. "Anyway, why are you here?" I questioned with natural curiosity. I was glad that my voice didn't hold as much weakness as it did before, but it still didn't sound like _my_ voice. He sighed and walked over to the bed, patting my back lightly. "You should get some sleep, Rox. You had a rough day yesterday. I already asked Mom to let you stay home for today and she said. Don't worry; I just told her that you were feeling weak today. I didn't tell her what Hayner did," he said. I nodded in agreement. I knew I needed the rest, but I didn't want to sleep; not with Axel here. Sora looked over at Axel. "You should leave so that Rox gets some sleep. He needs it now more than ever," he said before he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

I looked over at Axel and he gave me an apologetic smile. He kissed me again, but it was too quick for me to return it, to my disappointment. II watched as he stood up from the bed and began to walk towards the door. He was actually listening to my brother... I threw the covers off my bed, feeling a boost of strength. I pushed myself off the bed and stepped towards him, but then realized just how weak I was. I let out an almost-silent shout as I fell to the floor, knowing that Axel probably couldn't hear the shout. I curled up because of how much pain that one fall had done to my body. I heard quick footsteps practically run over to me before the stopped right next to me. I looked up to see Axel crouch down next to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?" he asked in a gentle tone.

I looked away and nodded. I knew that I could lie when I looked straight at him; it never worked for me anymore. He knew me so well that he could tell the lies from the truth, whether I was looking at him or not. I didn't even need to look back at him to know that he was frowning at me. As usual, he could see through my lie... "Roxas, you aren't okay. Don't even try lying to me," he said sternly as if he was scolding em. Oh wait... I think he _was_ scolding me. Was he becoming Sora or something? Yes, that was a joke. And a pitiful one at that... He gingerly picked me up with my knees folded over one arm and my back supported by his other arm. I leaned my head against his shoulder, my arms folded across my bare stomach. It hurt to be bent this way and having his arm across the wounds that criss-crossed my back, but I ignored the pain and let him carry me back to the bed.

He laid me down gently again before he helped me sit up. He grabbed the shirt he had put aside and put it back on me so that I wasn't half naked. He then helped me lay down so that I didn't disturb the wounds too much. He sighed and softly stroked my bangs, causing me to close my eyes. It actually felt... good to have him here. I felt like I was actually cared for. Sora came in just to tell me to stay home from school, but Axel had visited because he was worried about me and actually stayed. I didn't open my eyes when he pulled his hand away, but I did open my eyes when I heard retreating footsteps. I looked over at Axel. "Please don't leave... I don't want to be alone..." I whispered softly.

He hesitated at the door before he walked back over to me. "But you're fine here. You're at home," he replied with a confused expression. It was my turn to hesitate. I pull the covers towards my neck a bit more as I glanced at the window. "It's Hayner... He lives right next door to me. He sneaks into my room through the window," I said softly. I watched as he sighed and, to my relief, he sat down in the computer chair again. "Alright. If that's what you truly want, I'll stay," he said with a small smile. I returned the smile and glanced down at our hands when he grabbed my hand again. Again, I could tell that he hadn't noticed this. I looked back up at Axel. "Thanks, Axel. I really don't want to be alone..." I said in a soft tone. He nodded in understanding. He paused for a moment before he stood up, reaching over me and locking my window. "Now he can't get in," he said with a smile.

The next few minutes were filled with silence, though it was a comfortable silence. I had my eyes closed and I was slowly drifting off to sleep, but I could tell that Axel was watching me and sometimes glancing at the window. I could only tell because of the feeling that someone was watching me. It would be there for a bit before it disappeared for a second then return. I didn't even open my eyes when Axel had spoken. "So how can you tell what I'm thinking and what emotion I feel?" he asked. I chuckled slightly, but instantly stopped when I noticed how much pain just that had caused. "It's not just you. I can tell from everybody's actions. They give off little hints, like certain gestures. That's how I tell what they're thinking. If I girl is playing with her hair and constantly bouncing it or running her hand through her hair, she's thinking 'I hope my hair looks okay...' or something around that area. Another way to tell is the eyes and the gazes. I can tell the emotions because of someone's eyes and actions. You hide yours pretty well on the outside, but I can tell your emotion through your eyes," I explained, my voice still weak.

Axel hummed in content. "That's pretty reasonable. I didn't know you could see those small hints," he said, leaning back in his chair slightly. The only reason why I knew that was because the chair had creaked slightly, which only happened when someone leaned back. I shrugged slightly. "I have good eyes and ears," I said simply. I felt his thumb stroking the back of my hand, but I did nothing to stop him. I knew exactly why he had done this. He practically loved me to death. He did his best to hide it at first, but now I can see it clearly due to his actions and the fact that he had told me that he had fallen for me. I hesitated slightly before I opened my eyes and looked over at him. "How did Sora know where I was or what was happening? He was at school," I said, curious as to how m brother found me. Axel hesitated. Okay, now I knew he had something to do with it. "I knew I couldn't do anything, so I called Sora and told him what happened. All I had to do was tell him that Hayner dragged you into the house and he came instantly," he replied, looking away.

I smiled slightly and squeezed his hand a bit. "Thank you, Ax. If you didn't call him, I probably wouldn't be there," I said. My smile faded and I focused my eyes on the ceiling when I noticed that I had saddened him and possibly even made him a bit fearful, not to mention angry. I sighed and loosened my grip on the redhead's hand. "It's not going to happen again. I don't think Sora is going to let anything happen to me," I said softly.

I looked over at him when I felt his hand slip from mine. My stomach twisted when I saw that he stood up. "You're not going to go to sleep, are you Roxas?" he asked. I hesitated before I shook my head. "Probably not. I don't feel tired. Besides, you're talking to me. Why should I sleep?" I replied. He sighed and shook his head. "If I lay down next to you, will you fall asleep?" "Maybe." Okay, now where did that come from? I had not mean to say that; it just came out without me even thinking about it. Do I have a split personality or something that likes to talk for me? He nodded and crawled over me, lying down next to me on the bed. I turned onto my side, though it hurt to do so. At least I no longer irritated the wounds on my back... But now the ones on my left hip and side hurt. I tried to ignore it, but it didn't work completely.

I watched him reach forward and stroke my uninjured cheek, which meant that his hand stroke close to my lips. Hey; I was lying on my uninjured cheek. It wasn't like you could even see it very easily, much less touch that cheek. And yet, he found a way, even though it was a small portion of it. For some reason, my breathing hitched a bit and I felt a small blush coming when he traced a finger along my lips. "What's with you and my lips?" I asked, a soft frown now taking over said lips. He chuckled slightly and went back to stroking my cheek. "Well, they taste good and they're soft," he replied. Okay, a simple answer. But still, what the hell? Tasted good and they're soft? My thoughts were cut off when Axel kissed me. Again. He pulled away a few seconds later with a small, playful smirk. "And they're addicting and fun to kiss," he finished.

I laughed softly, but then caught myself thinking that I would slap or punch the person who kissed me constantly if it wasn't Axel who was kissing me. _It's just a spur of the moment. I feel nothing towards him. He may feel something towards me, but it's not returned. I don't like anybody,_ I told myself, but I didn't know whether I could believe even myself. It just didn't seem right. "Go to sleep, Rox. You said that you would," he said. I chuckled and shook my head with a small smirk that I had no control over. "No I didn't. I said that I might; I didn't say that I would," I replied smartly. And it was true; I said 'maybe', not 'yes'. He sighed and shook his head, scooting closer. He draped an arm across my waist. "Fine. I'll just go to sleep. Then you'll have nobody to talk to and you'd fall asleep," he said. Heh. Tough crowd. I frown softly before I wrapped an arm around his waist, though it just ended up being laid over it due to my weakness at the moment. Damn, his waist was thin...

He reached forward and put a hand over my eyes, causing me to close my eyes as a reaction. "Go to sleep, Rox. I'll be right here when you wake up," he said softly. I nodded and he pulled his hand away from my eyes, feeling relieved that I wouldn't be left alone. I waited a few minutes before I opened my eyes. I had expected to see emerald eyes looking back into mine, but that seemed not to be the case. His eyes were closed just as mine were before. I looked like he would keep his promise. I found myself smiling slightly before I scooted closer to Axel, burying my head into his chest and closing my eyes. I had gotten quite used to sleeping this close to Axel during the day, so it was only normal for me to get closer. I soon found myself drifting off to sleep, practically latched onto Axel.

For a few days after that, Axel stayed with me. After I regained most of my strength, he would have Sora run to all our classes at school and gather our work and bring it back home. He would do his own homework and then help me with mine. I was still bedridden for about two days, but with the help of Axel, I was able to leave the room. I was surprised at how weak I had become just because of that one ordeal. But then again, I was weak to begin with and continuing to get weaker as time passed on. I was running out of time. And I knew it. Despite that, I didn't let it get in the way. I tried my best to keep myself strong, though I found myself relying on Axel a lot when I became weak.

After three more days, I was finally able to walk without falling and running into things. Okay, maybe the walls and corners still got me, but don't blame me! They attack people! Even though I had most of the strength back and my wounds were pretty much healed, I wasn't allowed back at school just yet, which meant that Axel, too, wasn't exactly allowed to leave. He wasn't forced to stay, but he had chosen to. The only time he had left me was for about an hour to go get a suitcase full of clothes. Apparently my mother had noticed how close we were and invited Axel to stay over for quite a few nights. He agreed, packed, and came back. He then started to sleep in my bed every night, though I wasn't kicked off, thankfully. I didn't mind him sleeping in my bed with me. In fact, I liked having the company and not sleeping alone.

A week had passed since I was able to walk without falling. All my wounds had healed (save for the bite wound because it was so deep) and I was finally able to go to school. When I went back to school, I got very few welcome backs. And most of them were from teachers... Only one was from another student; Naminé. But she was one of the sweetest girls you could ever meet. She would say welcome back to even the most out casted of the whole school, not that I minded. She seemed to notice everything and anything, which is why she could tell when someone had gone 'missing'. We were pretty good friends from childhood, but we never became anything more, despite what others had said about us. Truth is... I'm not into girls. That was the main reason. Not only that, but she had her eyes on someone else.

Other than Naminé, nobody noticed my absence. And the people who did (besides Naminé) would say "Oh look; the emo kid is back". Axel got pretty pissed off at that, but I managed to hold him back. Okay, not literally. All I did was tell him to ignore them and he did. Ever since what had happened, Axel and I didn't even hide how close we were. Every day, he would walk me to class, even if it made him late for class. In PE, I would sit out as usual and he would come over and talk to me until he was called back out to the field or middle of the gym. And one day, we were actually caught making out in a previously abandoned hallway during passing period. I had no idea how it had started. All I knew was that I was against the wall and returning the kiss. It hadn't remained abandoned like it was when we had started, which is how people had found out about us making out. Even Hayner had found us, but he didn't say anything. Despite what everybody told me and everything that happened, I kept telling myself that I didn't feel anything towards Axel. We still went to the Sanctuary when we wanted to talk about things we couldn't talk about in public (such as what we were going to do for the remaining months of my life), but I found myself being 'dragged' out into the courtyard for lunch most days. But on the fourth day after being dragged out (about a month and a half after I had been told I was going to die in six months), I was surprised to see that there were eleven other people already there - all of them in upper grades.

_Time left to live: 4 and 1/2 months._

**~*And it's you and me. And all of the people. And I don't know why. I can't keep my eyes off of you.*~**


	7. Can't Let You Go

Right when we had made it to the group, Axel began to introduce everybody, though I was pretty sure that I wouldn't remember their names. Come to find out, they were pretty easy to remember, the only reason being was that I had seen them in many of my dreams, especially in the more recent ones. The first person I was introduced to was a tan male whom I knew by Xemnas. Apparently, he was the self-proclaimed leader of the group, which he had for some reason called "Organization XIII." For what reason he chose that name, I have no idea. But to even further his position as 'leader', everybody called him "The Superior" or "Superior". Though the others said it was because he was the only senior in the group, I believe it's because of a completely different reason. The guy was overdramatic, I'll give him that. So much so that it puts the most preppy of all high school girls to same. I mean, the guy even gave me the name 'Key of Destiny' and then called me 'Number XIII'. He then proceeded to tell me that I had no heart and therefore could not feel emotion, to which Demyx (who Xemnas had called 'Number IX') had replied, "Oh, we do too have hearts, Superior", which was somehow oddly familiar in a way.

But then I was told that because he had given me a name, he had accepted me into the group. Well, that's what the others had told, me anyway... But hey; he didn't deny it. So I guess that's pretty understandable. But what I didn't understand was how he left suddenly, saying that he had to study the heart and reclaim Kingdom Hearts or something like that. Now _that_, my friend, was completely and totally confusing. I wouldn't be surprised if one of the others had said that he was a lunatic. But apparently, that wasn't the case. In fact, they just said "don't worry; he's always been like that", which scares me even more considering the fact that I'll most likely be hanging out with the group a lot more often. Anyway, after Xemn- I mean _Superior_ had left, Axel continued to introduce me to the rest of the group.

Xigbar was pretty okay. His scars scared a bit, but then again, it also made me wonder what they were from. I was surprised when I saw that his other eye was covered in an eye patch and only made me wonder even more what had happened to him. One of the only things that I really, really disapproved of was his new nickname for me; "Little Dude". But alongside that one nickname, he had more that referred to my height. Yes, I know I'm short, being only 5'1", but that doesn't mean that I like to be constantly picked on about it. Finally, I gained enough courage to ask him about his eye. ... Though I instantly regretted it. Soon after I had asked, Xigbar huddled in a darker corner of the courtyard, mumbling to himself about who-knows-what. Axel had merely just shook his head at that and said "You shouldn't have asked. You shouldn't have asked..."

Despite Xigbar's little emoing or plotting or whatever the hell he was doing in his dark little corner, Axel continued on with the introductions. Xaldin merely glanced at me and let out a small grunt before he walked away and nobody would tell me why he had done that. Did he not like new people or something? Or was he that anti-social? The next person I was introduced to was Vexen. And oh how I wished I hadn't. He was busy mixing a few chemicals of which I do not want to know the name of. And he said that if I ever tried to talk to him again during his experimentations, I would be his new lab rat. After that, I didn't even try to say hi to him. Instead, I just went on t meet Lexaeus, who said nothing at all... I swear the guy was mute or something.

Zexion wasn't that bad, though I did notice the glares-of-death he gave Axel everytime the redhead got too close to Demyx. I grew curious as to why he had done this, but the answer soon came clear when Demyx walked over to him and planted a small kiss right on his lips, in which the slate-haired male had returned. It was short, but despite that, the quiet male seemed rather content with it. I wasn't surprised at the kiss at all, considering that Axel and I had kissed on a few occasions. Even though we weren't going out like Demyx and Zexion were... The only thing I was confused about was how they were practically polar opposites. Demyx was cheerful, loud, optimistic, and hyperactive and always clung onto Zexion's arm while Zexion was quiet, reserved, and always had his nose in a book.

Anyway, on with whom I had met... After I was introduced to Luxord, he went off to gamble with the other juniors around school. Saïx merely glared at me harshly before he walked away in the direction Xemnas had disappeared. Larxene... I don't even want to talk about her. That girl is going to give me nightmares one day, I swear it... Marluxia was way too busy trying to flirt with Vexen to even look my way or acknowledge my presence, though I did find it amusing when Vexen spilt some of the concoction on the small flower that Marluxia was holding inside a pot. The flower then withered and died within mere milliseconds, causing the pink-haired junior to gasp in horror and scream "My baby! You killed me baby!"

After Axel had showed me to every member of the group, he sat down next to a wall and pulled me into his lap. I leaned back against him as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I tilted my head back against his shoulder and closed my eyes, expecting that we would be left alone. Apparently, I had thought wrong. Soon after the two of us had gotten comfortable, I heard footsteps walking towards us. I opened my eyes again to see Demyx standing in front of us when Zexion standing beside him and reading a book. "Are you two dating?" he asked pretty boldly with a smile, though I could tell that he had a bit of excitement and curiosity laced into his voice. As soon as I heard that question, it felt like my face was on fire. I shook my head and looked back at Axel when I heard him laugh, curious as to what was so funny. I frowned when I noticed there was no blush and realized what he was laughing at; he was laughing at _me_! I let out a small huff and turned away, crossing my arms. He ruffled my hair, but I ignored. "No, we're not dating. We're just friends, Dem," he replied for me. I nodded in agreement and watched as Demyx's smile fell. "Oh. I just thought you were 'cause you talk about him a lot," he said before walking away.

Wait, what was that? Talked about me a lot? My blush faded and I looked back at Axel. "Y-" I was instantly cut off as I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I let out a small grunt and placed a hand over my chest, curling up slightly. I pressed my fingers against my chest, trying desperately to get the pain to go away. But it seemed like the more I tried, the worse the pain got. It got so bad that I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and tears were rolling down my cheeks. I felt Axel rubbing my arm with his hand and pulling me even closer, but I didn't acknowledge that he had done this. I turned to the side and pulled my knees to my chest, leaning my left shoulder against his chest as I ducked my head down. Finally, I heard exactly what Axel was saying. "Rox, what's wrong? Oh, Rox... Please answer me," he said softly into my ear before pressing a small kiss to my ear. I found myself shaking as the pain in my chest worsened. "I-It hurts... M-m-my chest..." I managed to get out, though even I could tell that it was soft and shaken.

I was in too much pain to notice just how loud I had said it, but I did notice that the whole group had gone quiet and was now looking at both Axel and I. I closed my eyes in an attempt to block the others out, burying my head into Axel's shoulder. "Shh. It's going to be okay. Just calm down," I heard Axel whisper in a soft tone, stroking my hair with his hand. This time I didn't answer him. I knew that I wasn't going to be okay. I knew that I was going to die in a few months. How could Axel say that if he knew that I had such a short time left to live? Thankfully, the pain began to dull and I could let my hand drop away from my chest. I wrapped both of my arms around his waist and buried my head deeper into his shoulder, my shoulders shaking from how scared I was and how much I was crying. I felt Axel's chin rest on the top of my head, but I paid no real attention to it. I let myself relax as I felt him rubbing massaging circles on my back, my tears slowing until they no longer soaked Axel's shirt. I still shook a bit, but not as much as I was, thankfully. Only then did I realize just _how_ silent everything around me was. The only sound was the gentle breeze that blew by. Other than that, there was nothing. And I knew exactly why, though it was only because I could feel many pairs of eyes on my back.

Finally, the silence was broken. "What's... what's wrong with him?" I didn't exactly like the question, but I _did _recognize the voice as Demyx's. Axel lifted his chin from my head, but he remained completely silent. I could tell that he wasn't going to tell Demyx. I sighed softly and pulled away a bit so that only my forehead was resting on Axel's chest. If I was going to hang out with these guys for the remainder of my life, I might as well tell them... "I have a weak body... I get pains easier than anybody else. The doctors... gave me six months to live one and a half months ago... So I'll only be around for another four and a half months..." I said softly, though I knew that everybody could hear me. As soon as I had said that, I felt Axel pull me closer to him and stroke my hair once more. "No, you're not going to die, Rox. The doctors may have told you that, but it doesn't mean that it's true," he said softly. Despite what he said, I could tell that even he didn't believe what he was saying. We both knew that I wouldn't make it, especially because of how my physical heart had just hurt. I decided to remain completely silent. I knew that arguing with him wouldn't do me any good.

Everybody remained completely silent, including Axel. I didn't exactly mind the silence, really. But what I did mind was that it was caused because of me. I could tell that nobody wanted to say anything that could hurt me, which actually pissed me off a bit. I pulled my head away from Axel's chest and looked over at the others with a small frown. "You don't have to watch me constantly. I don't care what you say. Nothing's going to hurt me anymore. I've passed out on a few occasions, collapsed without warning, had many trips to the hospital, and have been told that I have only six months to live. Alongside that, I have been abused, yelled at, scolded harshly, and even raped by my ex-boyfriend. But I'm still here, aren't I? So stop looking at me as if I'm not going to be here tomorrow. 'Cause I _am_ going to be here tomorrow and the day after that and even the day after _that_. If you guys think I'm going to die sooner than I am given, then that's a sure way of killing me faster because all the negative emotions floating around will cause even more stress and stress means a weaker body for me. So if you want me dead, keep thinking that I'll die in any moment and I _will_ end up dying sooner," I said in a slightly raised voice. I fell completely silent, seeing how much shock that really was there in everybody's face. I had a feeling that I had added a bit too much to that...

And unfortunately, I was right. I had said too much... I groaned when Demyx instantly threw questions at me, one right after the other. "You were raped? Who was your ex-boyfriend? Where were you? Why did he do it?" he asked rapid fire. I frowned deeply and didn't even think as I answered. "Yes, I was raped. A month and a half ago. I'm not gonna give away the name of my ex-boyfriend because it's over now and I no longer care about it. I was tugged into his house and he did it because he saw me kissing Axel." "You kissed Axel?! Wow! But I thought you two weren't dating!" I let out a sigh of frustration. "Yes, I kissed Axel. It was a spur of the moment and nothing else. So no, we're not dating. We never have," I replied in an angered tone. "Did you make out with him?" "Yes."

Okay, now that wasn't my voice. Sure, I had thought it, but I hadn't said it out loud. The reply was so fast that I couldn't catch who had said it. "He has made out with Axel on several occasions, one being rather recently. Despite how many kisses they have shared ever since they first made out ago a few months ago, he keeps denying that he's in love with Axel. On one occasion, his twin brother, Sora, walked into the room and interrupted them." I felt my face grow bright red, though I didn't know if it was because of anger or embarrassment. I opened my mouth to retort, but was instantly cut off. "There's no denying it, Roxas Kurou Amrai. You are in love with Axel, no matter how much you deny it. You can already see how much he loves you, which is a sign of loving someone," he replied to my unspoken retort. I frowned even deeper and felt my face get even brighter. "It w-" "A spur of the moment? I highly doubt that. Then why do you not want it to end every time you kiss him, hm?" Okay, he got me there. I opened my mouth to reply, but instantly shut it. I kept trying to reply, but could find nothing to say. "See what I mean? You can't even come up with a reply to that. "It was... just a spur of the moment. Nothing more than that, Zexion." Zexion sighed and rolled his eyes before continuing to read. Or pretend to read... I'm not sure what exactly he was doing. "If you want to keep denying it, be my guest. But all of us can see it just by how you act towards him." "You're just seeing what you think you're seeing when it's not even there! So stop assuming things when you know nothing about me!" I suddenly snapped without even thinking.

I pushed myself away from Axel and darted across the courtyard, away from the group. I didn't know where I was going; I just wanted to get away. It was scary enough to have somebody looking into my emotions, memories, and my thoughts. I didn't want everybody knowing my deepest secrets that even Axel didn't know. I heard Axel calling after me, but I completely ignored him. I stopped at the school doors and opened them, running inside and past the 1400, 1300, and 1200 hallways before I came to the library. I opened one of them and ran inside, slowing a walk when I was inside. I looked behind me to make sure that there was nobody following me before I quickly walked down the stairs and to one corner of the library.

I collapsed once I reached the corner, leaning against the bookcases. I knew that nobody would be able to see me here unless they really looked because of the bookcases around me. I pulled my thighs to my chest and crossed my arms over my knees, burying my head into my crossed arms. I tried hard to steady my ragged breathing. I shivered slightly, feeling actually really cold. I knew that I hadn't felt good this morning, but now I just felt absolutely horrible. I lifted my head up from my arms and looked at one of the bookcases, noticing instantly that little auras were dancing across my vision. Great... The last thing I needed was a damn headache. I groaned softly as I felt a dull pain coming to my head then rising sharply. I closed my eyes for a moment and took deep breaths before I opened them again, relieved that the auras were gone. But now another thing came into a view.

I frowned as I noticed a redheaded male walk towards me at a fast pace and instantly stood up. I wish I hadn't. As soon as both feet were underneath me, the auras danced across my vision once more and I began swaying. I took a step forward to steady myself, but only felt myself stumbling forward. I closed my eyes, ready to hit the ground, but instead, I felt arms wrap around my body and hold me up. I felt the two of us slowly lower to the ground, but I did nothing to stop him from doing this, feeling rather weak yet again. I soon found myself sitting in his lap with my back supported by his arm. I rested my head against the other's chest as I felt him brush the bangs, which clung to my face, out of my eyes. He paused as his fingers brushed over my forehead before he pressed his full hand against my forehead, which felt really, really cold for some reason, which was rather odd, considering that Axel had a higher body temperature than I did. He moved his hand down to my cheek then down to my neck and shoulders. I could feel it shaking slightly, but I paid no attention to it. I felt him pull me closer to him. "Oh, Rox... You shouldn't have come to school today, you idiot," he said softly before placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

Wait... How did he know that I didn't feel good this morning? I hadn't told him that at all... I shoved the thought aside, though it wasn't that hard for me. In fact, it almost drifted off on its own. He gently lifted me up as he stood, carrying me bridal style like he almost always did. He walked out of the library, but the only reason I could tell that was because he had climbed the stairs. I kept my eyes closed, resting my head against his shoulder. I shivered as I felt cool air blow across my skin when another door was opened and instantly knew it was outside, though I also knew that it wasn't that cold. Twilight actually never got that cold. The lowest it would even get was probably in the low 50s, maybe high 40s. So I knew for sure that it wasn't just the outside air that made me cold.

I heard footsteps running over to both Axel and I, but I completely ignored them. "Someone get a jacket or something over his eyes. Hurry," I heard Axel say. I heard some shuffling before everything behind my eyelids went black, though I knew I hadn't passed out again. I felt something cover my arms and I instantly pulled it closer to my body, noticing instantly that it warmed me a bit. "What happened to him?" "He's sick. I have to take him home. I don't know when or if I'll be back. Just drop the book bags off at my house after school if I don't get back. I'll stop by to pick them up." I felt the two of us move forward before Axel had even finished speaking, but I did nothing to stop him. I didn't want to stop him, truthfully. I knew that I couldn't say here at all or else my condition would worsen. I heard another pair of footsteps follow, but paid no attention to them. "What happened to him? He was fine just a minute ago!" "He put too much stress on his body. There's nothing more to it." Demyx's footsteps paused for a moment before picking back up. "But that doesn't make sense! He should be fine." "He wasn't feeling good this morning in the first place. His body can change at any time if he's not careful. He shouldn't have come to school." "Oh..."

The rest of the walk remained in complete silence and I could tell by Axel's quickened footsteps that he was worried - far too worried by my standards. But hey, I couldn't blame him. It's not every day that someone just collapses sick when they seemed fine only moments ago. I felt his pace slow after a while and knew that he had gotten to my house. He opened the front door and walked inside, careful not to hit my legs or head on the doorframe as he stepped inside. "Demyx, go back to school and find Sora Amrai. He's a bit tanner than Roxas and has blue eyes and spiky brunette hair. Other than that, he looked almost exactly like Roxas," he ordered the other blonde. I heard retreating footsteps before I heard the front door close and Axel carried my upstairs. I was lowered down onto a bed and the covers were pulled to my shoulders. The piece of clothing - which I had guessed was a jacket - was removed from my body and face.

I opened my eyes as I heard retreating footsteps, focusing my vision on Axel. "Don't. Please don't leave," I said softly. Axel paused at the door before he turned to face me. Though I could hardly see him due to my half-lidded eyes, I could still tell that he had smiled at me. "I'm not. I'm just gonna get some things for you," he replied. I watched as he walked out of the room, but I didn't even bother to close my eyes despite how much the light hurt them. I saw Axel walk in with a large blanket and looked at him with a slightly confused expression. He climbed onto the bed and stood on it, stepping over me. He opened the window and put part of the blanket on the outside of both the windows before closing it, making sure that the blanket stayed in place and blocked all light from outside. Well, most of the light outside anyway. "So it doesn't hurt your head or eyes. I thought it would be better to have a darker room," he said as he stepped off the bed. He stood next to me and brushed my bangs away before placing a small kiss on my forehead. "I'll be right back again. Still gotta go get a few things, okay?" he said softly before leaving again.

I sighed lightly and looked over at covers that Axel had put over the window. How come my mom never thought of that when I was sick...? I was pretty sure that Axel would stick me in the basement like my mom did when I had a headache, but instead, he had covered the window. I would have to remind my mom about that sometime... I turned my head as I heard Axel come back, noticing instantly that he had a glass of water and a bottle of pills in his hands. Oh great... Pills... I nestled deeper into my covers, eyeing the pills wearily. He set the glass on water on my nightstand and opened the pills, setting the cap on the nightstand as well. He took two of the pills out of the bottle and frowned as he looked at me. I tried to look as innocent as I can to make sure that I didn't look like I was hiding, but apparently, it didn't work. He sighed and shook his head, putting the pills on the cap. "Roxas... Don't do this. These things help you; they don't hurt you," he said with a small frown. I shook my head, feeling dizzy as I did so. "No. I'm not swallowing pills," I said stubbornly.

Axel's frown deepened and I gulped slightly. Next thing I knew, Axel reached forward and grabbed the covers. Out of instinct, I dashed out from under the covers and sprinted across the room, collapsing in a heap near my door. I sat up and turned to look at him, a triumphant smile on my face. When I was determined not to do something, I was pretty fast - and I knew it. My smile faded instantly when I noticed him walking towards me, pills in hand. I gulped once more and pushed myself off the ground, darting out the door and down the hallway. I nearly stumbled down the stairs, but managed to catch myself before I fell. I stopped at the bottom and looked up at Axel, my face paling when I noticed that he wasn't giving up the chase. I ran into the kitchen and Axel followed. I stood on one side of the island in the middle, he stood at the other. I grinned at him as he frowned. "You're not going to get me," I said. "And who says that?" "My body. My body's really weird. If I really don't want to do something, my body can find more energy and use that to get away in a tight pinch. And this would be a tight pinch." "Then how come Hayner got to you so easily?" My smile faded. "Because he overpowers me and I was grabbed. I may be fast, but I'm not that strong. So I couldn't get away," I replied. "So you're telling me... that if I catch you, you can't get away and I can force you to take these pills and make you get better?" "Yes. Wait... No. Yes and no. If you catch me, you can overpower me. But as I said before, I'm fast when in a pinch."

I darted to the left when he did and only found myself on the opposite of what he was at. "And this island thing really helps me get away, considering that you can only go one way and I can watch you to see what way you're going. It helps me get away when my brother is chasing me around the house all the time," I said rather casually as if I was trying to make conversation as I was being chased. I let out a yelp as he climbed onto the counter and darted towards me. I instantly sprinted in the other direction and out of the kitchen, Axel right at my heels. I knew that I should've gone up the stairs, but my legs just didn't want to work that way. Instead, they lead me to the living room. I stood at one side of the coffee table, Axel at the other. Hmm... This seems familiar. I wonder why. (-- Sarcasm) I grinned at him yet again and we both moved in the same direction. We did this a few times before I darted towards him and right underneath his arms, though I had to duck in order not to be caught.

I sprinted up the stairs and darted into the bathroom, closing and locking the door. I heard an aggravated sigh from the other side and grinned instantly. I knew that I wouldn't be caught in here, especially since the door was locked and there was no key. I jumped as I heard a knocking at the door. "Hold on! I'm in the restroom!" "I know you are! But you aren't _using_ it, are you?" "... Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." "Roxas... Get out of the bathroom." "But I don't wanna!" "Do you want to get better or do you want to stay sick longer?" "Yes!" "Yes to what? That you don't want to get better?" "Yes to I want to get better." "Then take the pills!" "No!" I walked over to the toilet and sat down, crossing my legs. "If you want to get better, you have to take the pills. Now open the door!" "But I'm on the toilet!" "Are you really using the toilet?" "No. I'm just sitting here." "Then open the door!" "Nooooo! I don't want to! Cause then you'll make me take the pills!" There was a frustrated growl from the other side of the door. "Fine, Roxas! Go ahead and stay sick for all I care!" I heard footsteps walk down the hallway and down the stairs. I flinched slightly as I heard the front door slam close.

I hesitated before I uncrossed my legs and stepped onto the ground, my headache catching up with me. I supported myself on the counter as I walked across the bathroom. I opened the door and peeked out a bit before walking out. "Axel?" I called softly, my voice echoing through the silent halls. No reply. I walked out of the bathroom and felt my heartbeat growing louder and faster. "Axel? Are you still here?" I asked a bit louder. Still, there was no reply. I cautiously walked down the hallway and down the stairs, stopping when I got to the bottom. I looked into the dining room and kitchen then to the living room, but found nobody. "Axel...?" I asked even softer than the two times I had said his name. Still, there was no reply. My heartbeat slowed as realization dawned on me; Axel had actually left. I hesitated and looked around once more before I headed up the stairs, my feet feeling heavy and reluctant to move. I walked down the hallway and into my room, closing the door behind me. I made my way over to my bed and collapsed onto it, pulling the covers over my shoulder and curling up a bit. I looked to where Axel had been sleeping for the past for weeks before curling up even tighter and hiding half of my face in my blankets, closing my eyes. Never before had I felt this lonely when I had tried to sleep in my own bed.

The next day, Axel completely ignored me and always walked in a different direction. I could hardly look at him without seeing pain in his eyes. I knew that he had hurt not only me, but himself as well. But what I was confused about was why he was avoiding me... I had expected him to come back yesterday, but he hadn't. And now... now he wouldn't even get within ten feet of me unless we were passing in the hallway. I tried a few times to stop him in the hallway by grabbing his arm or something, but he ended up shrugging of my hand and walking right by me. At lunch, I sat where I had met the other guys. I had gotten there early, so I didn't expect anybody to be there. Thankfully, there was nobody yet. I sat down on one of the blue benches and pulled out my sketchbook. I flipped to a blank page and began to sketch. At first, I didn't even know what I was sketching, but as I continued it all came rather clear.

It was of Axel. He had one hand on broken mirror and he looked directly into it. He leaned against it only slightly, though it was still obvious that he hadn't broken the mirror himself. The mirror was framed with a beautiful design, but many plants got in the way of the mirror at some points. Though he looked into the mirror as if he had no emotion, his mirror self was bent over a bit and had tears running down his face; tears of both hurt and anger. He was hugging himself with one arm and had bruises and scratches littering his exposed skin, such as his arms, hands, neck, and cheek. And if one looked close enough, they could tell that both sides of Axel - the hidden and the real - had their fingers laced together in comfort. Despite how calm and collected the real Axel looked, his eyes showed exactly what the mirrored version was; hurt and a hint of anger.

"You're an excellent artist."

I jumped at the voice and looked to the side quickly to see Zexion sitting next to me, calmly eating a sandwich. I looked down at the picture and brushed my hand across it lightly to get rid of the eraser marks. "Um... Thanks," I replied softly. "Let me guess. The one in the mirror is Axel's inner self and the one looking into that mirror is the mask that he wears when he doesn't want you to know he's hurting. But you can see it clearly as if he's actually looking exactly like his mirrored self." I hesitated slightly before I nodded and closed my sketchbook. I put my pencil and sketchbook away and zipped up my bag. "Yeah... I can see people's emotions easily. And today..." "Axel didn't even talk to you. He wouldn't even go near you because of something that had happened yesterday at home. He was trying to help you and you just made a game of it. He left the house and didn't come back. Am I correct?" I nodded again, keeping my eyes on my book bag. "Yeah..." was all I could say.

A moment of silence slipped past us and I glanced over at Zexion to see that he was reading a book and eating his sandwich. I opened my mouth to say something, but he answered me before I could even get one syllable out. "Yes, I can read minds. I've been able to ever since I was able to speak. Parents hated me for it, parents kicked me out. Simple as that. I don't mind my gift. Some people don't like me in their head, but it's who I am. I can't stop myself from reading someone's mind. It takes way too much energy," he said. I nodded in understanding before I heard footsteps walking towards us. I looked up to see the rest of the group, including Axel, walk towards us. However, once the redhead saw me, he stopped in his tracks and instantly spun on his heel, walking the direction in which he had come. I sighed and stood up, picking up my backpack. "I... I'm just going to go. I'll be I the library if anybody needs me," I said before I walked away from the group, even though they had just arrived.

The next day, the same thing had happened. Axel would ignore me and pass right by me, though he did stop a few times and attempt to talk to me. But this time, it was me who was avoiding him. I found myself crying during lunch, though it was just a few tears due to the fact that I was talking to Zexion about how Axel was the only one I could trust when I was with Hayner. Sure, I never saw him again, but that didn't mean that I wasn't afraid of him. Zexion said nothing about me loving Axel, which I still don't believe is true, though I was happy he didn't. The last thing I needed was for him to embarrass me in front of everybody again. I could tell that Axel wanted to talk to me, but didn't exactly know what words to say and ended up with one of us just walking away. A week later, I walked home and instantly went to bed right after school was out. Sora and my mom wouldn't be home today, so I didn't have to worry about them asking if I was gonna be okay. Sora was over at Riku's and my mom decided on taking a small vacation.

I lifted my head as I heard the door open and instantly sat up, turning towards the door. But before I could catch a glimpse of who it was, lips crashed into mine. My eyes widened at the many possibilities of who it could be, but I relaxed when I noticed red hair. I let my eyes drift closed and I pressed into the kiss happily, wrapping my arms around Axel's shoulders. The redhead broke the kiss and looked at me as I looked at him. I felt tears running down my cheek, which he was quick to wipe them away. He pressed a small kiss against my forehead. "I'm sorry, Rox... I didn't mean to get mad at you..." he said softly. I found myself pecking him on the cheek. "It's okay. It's my fault... I should've just taken the pills instead of running away," I replied just as soft.

Next thing I knew, our lips crashed again in a desperate kiss. I knew that Axel was trying to get used to my lips again and truthfully, I wanted to get used to his again as well. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip and I accepted the offer without even thinking, parting my lips. He deepened the kiss and lowered me back onto the bed, his knees on both sides of my hips. He trailed his hands down my sides until it came to the bottom of my shirt before they slid under and began to caress my chest. I did nothing to stop him and fisted my hands in his hair, deepening the kiss even more. I knew exactly where this was going, but I didn't care. In fact, it almost felt right. No, not almost. It _did_ feel right. He lifted the shirt up and over my head, breaking the kiss in order to do so. Instead of continuing it, he went on with leading a trail of kisses along my jawline and down my neck until he pressed a small kiss against my lips against. "You know... where this is going... right?" he asked between kisses. "Yeah," I replied when I got the chance. "And you're... okay with it?" I smiled softly. This time, my lips didn't answer on their own; I knew what I was going to say. "Mm... Yeah."

_Time left to live: 4 months_

**~*****I just can't let you go. My mind is not my own. And I can't eat, can't sleep. I'm in too deep.*~**


	8. Unknown Soldier

I shifted slightly as I felt something run down my side, disturbing me from my sleep. It almost felt like a finger trailing down my side. I nestled into my covers more, trying to get some more sleep. But of course, things just didn't go my way. "Roxy, wake up." I curled up a bit. "Mm... No... I dun wanna..." I replied softly, still half asleep. There was a soft sigh and I soon felt something pressed against my lips. But just as soon as it had come, it had disappeared. I was a little disappointed, but decided to try to go to sleep again. "Roxas... C'mon. Time to wake up," said the voice again. I felt something trail down my side again then back up to my arm, but this time, it was a hand. I went to curl up again, but then froze. I had suspected my shirt to be lifted a bit, but then I realized... I had no shirt. Or pants for that matter. I opened my eyes and looked at Axel with a slightly blurred vision, squinting a bit at the incoming light from the window behind me.

I was almost surprised to see that Axel was half-uncovered, with his lower half being the only thing covered by the blankets. But then I remembered what had happened last night and it all came clear to me. I groaned lightly and scooted closer to Axel, draping my arm across his bare waist. I pressed my forehead against his chest, closing my eyes. "Don't tell me we..." I let my voice trail off before I could even finish, knowing very well that Axel knew what I was about to say. I heard a soft chuckle and he ruffled my hair. "Yeah, I do believe so," he said softly. I groaned again and buried my head into his chest, my face turning bright red with embarrassment. I lay there for a moment, completely silent and still. "Did you go to sleep again?" "No. I didn't... I was trying, but you had to ruin it. Again," I replied, though I made sure that he knew I was joking. I opened my eyes and looked at him, a slight blush still dusting my cheeks. He chuckled again and dipped down to press his lips against mine, pulling away a few seconds later. "Y'know... You're cute when you blush," he said with a smirk, causing me to blush even more. "Am not," I replied before pulling the pillow out from under my head and shoving it in his face.

I scooted away from him as he threw the pillow to the floor and sat up, letting the covers fall into my lap. I looked away with a slight blush as Axel got out of the bed and began to collect his clothes, not wanting to stare at him when he was completely naked. I let out a shout as I felt something hit the side of my head, looking down next to me to see a baggy grey shirt I had forgotten about. "I highly doubt you want to walk around naked. So just slip that on until you can get some clothes. And by how none of your pants are in here, I'm guessing they're in the laundry room," he said. I looked over to Axel to see that he was already changed and nodded. "Umm... Yeah. They are, actually... And all of my good shirts," I replied as I slipped on the shirt.

I climbed out of bed, tugging on the bottom of the shirt a bit out of self-consciousness. I walked out of the bedroom with Axel following close behind, instantly going right and down the hallway. I opened a door near the bathroom and walked inside, opening the drier soon after. I pulled out a pair of jeans from the drier and some clean boxers from the clean clothes basket. I looked over at Axel, who I had just noticed was standing in the doorway and leaning against the frame. "Can you put the clothes from the washer into the drier while I'm in the shower? All my good shirts are in there," I said. Axel looked over to me and nodded. "Yeah, sure."

I smiled slightly and went to walk past Axel, but stopped as I got a sudden urge. I looked up at Axel and hesitated before standing on my tiptoes and pressing my lips against his, smiling softly when he returned it. I broke the kiss a few seconds later due to the fact that it hurt standing on my tiptoes like that. "I'll be out soon," I said before I walked down the hallway and into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and walked over to the bathtub that also doubled as a shower. I was quick to take my shower, but I didn't exactly find out why. I had usually taken my time because I had nothing else to do, but today... I took a quick one. Not to mention that it was hotter than it was before, despite the fact that the handle was in the same exact position it always was in. I let out soft sigh and turned off the water, stepping out and quickly drying myself off. I threw on the boxers and jeans I had brought in and walked out, still drying my hair. I paused to glance around, noticing instantly that Axel wasn't anywhere around. I hummed a bit before I continued to dry my hair, walking down into the living room.

As I had thought, Axel was sitting on the couch, fiddling with his phone. He glanced up at me before he did a double take and frowned softly. I ignored the frown at first and instead went to go sit down on the smaller couch that most people called a 'loveseat'. I crossed my legs and dried my hair a bit more with the towel before taking the towel off of my head completely, setting it in my lap. I looked over at Axel to notice that he was _still_ frowning. I sighed softly, frowning a bit. "What?" I asked to break the silence. "C'mere," was the only response I had retrieved from the redhead. I hesitated before a stood up, towel in hand, and walked over to Axel. I let out a small, surprise yell as I was suddenly tugged into his lap and his arms wrapped around me. He rested his chin on my shoulder, his hand over my heart. I looked back at him to notice that he had an expression that told me he was trying to figure something out. I reached up and gently touched the hand over my heart before grabbing it lightly.

"Your heartbeat is weaker..." I heard him say, though the voice was soft and almost non-existent. "It's not as strong as it used to be. Roxas..." After he whispered my name, I felt him bury his head into my shoulder and I tightened my grip on his hand when I felt it starting to fall away from my heart. I was silent for a moment as I stared at the ground, not even knowing what I should say. I didn't want to say that I was going to be okay because I knew that wasn't true. It wasn't true at all. I would just lie to him and end up dying. I knew that for a fact. I hesitated before I closed my eyes, pulling his hand closer to me. I took time to collect my thoughts before I let my eyes slide back open. "I... went to the doctor's a few days ago after school," I said softly. I felt him lift his head only a bit and I hesitated once again before I decided to finish. "They said my body was too weak now. There's no reversing the process. My body is slowly dying and nobody can do anything about it. I don't want to die, but in this case... it seems like I have no other choice... I'm going to die in only a few months... And everything I do that takes up a lot of energy at one time puts me in a weaker state..."

I felt a few tears roll down my cheek, but it was mostly because I _knew_ I was hurting Axel with saying that. I _knew_ that wasn't the thing he wanted hear, especially now. There was a moment of silence that had slipped between us before I finally looked back at the redhead. I had half expected him to be looking back at me, but that seemed not to be the case. Instead, his head was still buried into my shoulder. I hesitated for only a split second before I reached up to stroke his head again, kissing the top of it lightly. I froze as I noticed Axel's shoulders began to shake. "Axel...?" I asked softly. The only reply I got was a soft whimpering that was barely audible. The only reason that I had heard it was because I was so close to him. I felt him pull me closer to him, despite how close we were already. That's when I felt something wet roll down my shoulder. My stomach twisted and I sighed, looking away. "If you want to cry, Axel... Go ahead... Don't hold it in," I said in a soft tone, trying my hardest to sound strong for him.

The next thing I knew, the whole house was filled with loud sobs. I hesitated before I turned in his lap, wrapping my arms gently around his head and pulling him closer, towards my chest. I stroked his hair before I nestled my face into the red locks, closing my eyes. "I don't want to lose you... You-you can't die, Rox," I heard him say through his sobs. I pulled him a bit closer, trying my best to comfort him. "I'm sorry, Ax... I'm so sorry. But there's nothing you can do... Nobody can help me, not even the best doctor in the whole world," I replied, though I found myself choking out the words. I hated seeing Axel like this; absolutely hated it. He rarely cried... Thankfully, his sobs reduced to small tears soon after he began.

"You're weak because of last night, aren't you? You use too much energy and now you're closer to death... That's right, isn't it?" I froze at the words, pulling away only a bit. I didn't want to lie to Axel, but then again, I didn't want to make him feel like he was at fault. I knew full well that it was about what had happened last night. But did I really want to tell him that? I sighed softly and nodded slowly, finally giving in. "Yeah... It... was about because we had sex..." I said softly, instantly noticing how timid I sounded. I pulled him closer, burying my head into his hair again. "But I don't care. I don't care if it made me weaker. I don't care if it made my life shorter. I don't care. Because I know that I would have _never_ done that with anyone else, Axel," I added, though it was a bit stronger than the last time I had spoken.

I felt him bury his face deeper into my chest as he pulled me closer and I winced a bit because of how tight he was holding me, though I guess I was just sore today. I pulled my head out of his hair and pushed him back a bit before he looked at me. I reached forward and brushed away the tears that stained his cheeks. He then leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. I closed my eyes and pressed back into the kiss, curious as to how long it would last this time. I shivered when I felt his tongue across my bottom lip and parted my own lips, accepting the silent invitation. He deepened the kiss, but it wasn't lustful or desperate. It was a gentle kiss and I could definitely feel all the emotion that Axel was putting into it.

I broke the kiss and lifted a hand to my chest, noticing instantly that it hurt slightly. "Rox? What's wrong?" I looked up at Axel, noticing instantly that he was both curious and worried at the same time because of his voice. I hesitated before I smiled and shook my head. "It's nothing. Just making sure that my heart is back to normal," I replied, though I knew very well that I was lying to him. I instantly dropped the smile when he frowned. "No, that's not what you're doing. I can tell when you're lying. It's something else, isn't it?" he said. I hesitated and shook my head before pressing a soft kiss against his lips. "It's nothing to worry about, okay?" I said softly, crawling off of his lap afterwards.

"Oh. I have Rock Band if you want to play that," I said, almost desperate to change the subject. Surely feeling my heart hurt right now wasn't a good thing, considering that I was pretty close to death right about now. I pushed all the thoughts to the back of my head and looked back at Axel. "Sure. As long as I get to play bass," he said, standing up. I smiled and nodded, walking over to a corner of the living room where I kept all my Rock Band stuff. I picked up a black guitar with red flames and another one with a dark blue color and handed the flamed one to Axel. "Both of these are mine. So you don't have to worry about Sora yelling at you for taking his guitar," I said before I turned on my guitar and the PlayStation 3. I glanced at Axel to see that he already turned his guitar on. "I'm guessing you've played before?" I asked as I slung the strap across my chest. He nodded and I went back to setting it up. I put the disk into the game system and skipped the intro to Rock Band 2.

I walked over next to Axel, standing next to him, though I made sure to leave him some room to actually play. I looked up at the redhead, who was already going to the Quickplay and selecting his character. He then paused and raised an eyebrow before he showed an amused smirk. "You made a character of me?" he asked, not even looking at me. I felt my cheeks heat up as I looked at the screen. Sure enough, there was a character named Axel Krause standing there, adorned in black punk clothing. He wore a black shirt with a large, dark red skull in the middle; tight black pants with two grey belts tucked into black gothic, knee-high boots with dark red laces; black biker gloves; and a flame tattoo on the outer part of his upper arm, near his shoulder. Even the black upside-down triangular tattoos were apparent on his cheeks (though they weren't as skinny as the real ones because Rock Band 2 wouldn't let me) and the face paint I had used looked almost exactly like Axel's thick black eye liner. Though the character's hair wasn't exact, it still was spiked and had black roots and red tips. Thankfully, he still had the striking emerald eyes I had always loved about the pyromaniac.

I hesitated before I nodded, a slight blush dusting my cheeks. I hadn't noticed how pale my skin had become due to the fact that my heart was beating irregularly this morning. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and nodded hesitantly. "Um... Yeah. I-I thought you would look good in it. So... I made you," I replied at last only to get a chuckle from the older teenager. I tore my eyes away from the character I had created and focused my vision on Axel. I was careful not to give him the wrong impression, so I wore a delicate frown instead of a full out frown, though I highly doubt he could even see that. "What? What's so funny?" I asked, a little irritated that he had practically laughed at me. Okay, he hadn't actually full out laughed at me, but hey; he chuckled. That was close enough to a laugh to be considered one.

He looked at me with a small smirk. "Did ja miss me that much or were you really _that_ bored?" was his reply. Though that wasn't exactly an answer to my question, he seemed pretty content with his reply. I felt rather amused, but I instantly pushed the emotion away because I knew it wasn't my own. In fact, I was irritated and even a bit annoyed. I hesitated a bit before I let out a sigh and shrugged slightly. "I dunno. I guess it was a little bit of both. It was mostly because I was curious as to how you would look in it," I answered casually, forcing my small frown to fade. He chuckled again and selected the character I had created. "Whatever you say, Roxy," he said before returning his eyes to the game. "Hurry up and choose your character. I want to see what you can do."

I nodded and returned my eyes to the large flat screen TV screen as well. I pressed down the strum button until I got to my own character; Roxas. He looked almost exactly like me, save for the clothes and hair. The hair in Rock Band 2 never came spiked to one side, so I had to make up for that with the hair that spiked up in the middle and was spiked towards the front. Thankfully, it was still dirty blonde, so the character still somewhat looked like me. He wore a pair of baggy dark grey pants with the outside being light grey, checkered shoes, and a torn light grey T-shirt over a long-sleeve dark grey shirt. He had a dark blue guitar floating in front of his stomach due to the fact that Rock Band failed to create guitar straps. Like me, he was a good head shorter than Axel and almost looked frail, though he still had a bit of muscle.

I glanced over at the redhead next to me as I pressed the green fret button to accept my character and pressed the start button. "Is it okay if I choose the first song?" I asked him. I caught him nod out of the corner of my eye and pressed the select button to order the songs in alphabetical order by the song name. I held the yellow fret button down as I strummed down quickly. I let go of the button when I reached the L section and strummed down a bit more until I came to 'Living on a Prayer' by Bon Jovi. I selected it and picked the guitar as Axel chose bass, the both of us selecting the Expert level. As we waited for the game to load, I head Axel speak. "I never knew you liked Bon Jovi." It was my turn to chuckle and smirk at Axel, removing my eyes from the screen in order to do so. I shrugged lightly, my fingers already in position. I had played this song so much that I had memorized the first note (which was green). "Eh, we learn something new every day. We even learn somethin about ourselves at times," I replied. Axel shrugged and returned his eyes to the TV. "True," was the reply that I had received as I, too, looked at the screen.

I watched Axel's side for a bit as he played the opening notes. I returned my eyes back to my side when I saw notes scrolling down the screen. I strummed the first notes, thankful I hadn't missed them due to the fact that I was concentrating on Axel and not the game. I tried my best to keep up with the notes afterward, thought it wasn't that hard to do. I was caught off guard when I heard Axel start singing the lyrics, but I soon found myself singing along as well.

"Tommy used to work on the docks  
Union's been on strike  
He's down on his luck...it's tough, so tough

Gina works the diner all day  
Working for her man, she brings home her pay  
For love - for love

She says: We've got to hold on to what we've got  
'Cause it doesn't make a difference  
If we make it or not  
We've got each other and that's a lot  
For love - we'll give it a shot

Oh, We're half way there  
Woah-oh, livin' on a prayer  
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear  
Livin' on a prayer."

I didn't know why, but it almost seemed like the lyrics had some type of meaning behind them that pertained to both Axel and I. And as I continued to sing along, I noticed it was almost exactly how Axel and I were living. I was on the brink of death and I knew Axel was practically praying that I would make it and that was the only thing he was living on. Not only that, but I had even lost my virginity and as much as I hate to admit it, I was falling for him - and I knew it.

For some reason, I ended up laughing when we finished the song. I grinned over at Axel before I moved closer to him. I leaned against him a bit for some support due to the fact that I felt a bit dizzy. I looked over at the screen once I was sure that I wouldn't fall. I nearly grinned when I saw my score and punched my hand into the air. "Yeah! Finally! 97% on Expert!" I shouted happily, jumping up and down in excitement. I stopped when I felt two hands on my shoulders and looked behind me to see Axel staring down at me. "Don't overexert yourself, Rox," he said cautiously. I laughed softly and shook my head. "I'll be fine; trust me. A little jumping isn't going to affect my health," I replied.

He hesitated as he continued to look down at me before he let out a sigh and pulled his hands away. "I dunno, Rox... It's not just the jumping. Your body is weak enough as it," he said in a soft tone. I noticed instantly that he avoided looking in my eyes. That was definitely not good... My stomach clenched as he steadied me and turned off the PS3. But despite the fact that he was putting everything else, I didn't speak a word and just let him take my guitar. "I don't want you getting any weaker... It's best if we save this for later." I frowned softly and sighed before I walked over to him, but ended up tripping over some shoes my brother had left lying around, causing me to fall forward. I let out a small shout, but soon found myself in Axel's arms, who quickly steadied me again. "See? I knew you wouldn't be able to take much more, Roxas."

I frowned slightly and pushed myself away from Axel, stumbling back a bit. I glared at him, but not with as much intensity as I could've. "Axel, stop thinking I'm going to break apart any second. I'm not a porcelain doll, for crying out loud. I just tripped over my brother's shoes. I'm fine. So stop acting like I don't know how much my own body can take. It's _my_ body. _You_ don't know how much I can take," I said with a slightly raised tone, a little irritated at the way the redhead was treating me all of a sudden. There was a few seconds of silence, but I was surprised that the other had darted forward and grabbed my arms, pinning me to the couch.

I struggled a bit, trying to get into a sitting position, but he just pinned my wrists to the arm of the couch. "Stop. Just stop it, okay? You have no idea what it's like to see someone you love dying right in front of your eyes and you can do _nothing_ to save them. It _hurts_, Roxas. It _fucking hurts_," he said. After he had said that, I stopped struggling and looked away, not wanting to see the emotions that flowed through his eyes, though I could still feel them no matter what. While I was pissed off, he was hurting. And he was hurting a lot. I flinched slightly when I felt his hand on my chest again. "Even now, your heartbeat is still weak..."

Next thing I knew, we were sitting upright and he had pulled me into his arms again. One of his hands was still grabbing my wrist, but it was barely hooked around anymore. I hesitated a bit before I pulled my wrist out of his loose fingers. "I'm sorry, Axel... I really am. But if you keep telling me what to do and what not to do... you're just going to end up like Hayner," I said in barely above a whisper, closing my eyes and resting my forehead against his shoulder. After a few more moments of silence, the beeper for the laundry went off and echoed through the halls, telling us that it was done drying the clothes Axel had put in for me.

I hesitated once again before I carefully crawled out of his arms and stood in front of him. I looked down at the other, but he kept his eyes on the floor. I sighed softly and bent down, putting my hand one on side of his head. I pressed a gentle kiss against his forehead. "I'm sorry..." was all I said before I made my way back to the drier. I took out a grey long-sleeved shirt and slipped it on before I slipped on a black T-shirt with the Avenged Sevenfold symbol on it. I walked back into the living, but froze when I noticed that Axel wasn't there. "Axel...?" I called out weakly as I looked around. Nothing... I walked over to the front door and opened it before I walked outside in my bare feet, looking up and down the street. Nobody... I ran back into the house, nearly slamming the door. Without even thinking about it, I ran up stairs and into my room, but stopped and sighed in relief when I found him lying on my bed, facing the wall. I walked silently over to him and sat down on the bed. I poked his side. No response. I frowned slightly, but quickly forced it to fade. I lay down on the bed, facing him. I laid there for a moment, poking his back and side only to get no response. I scooted forward and instead of poking him, I wrapped my arm around his waist and buried my head into his back, taking in a deep breath.

We laid there just like that for I-don't-know-how-long. But however long it had been, I knew that I had been slowly drifting off to sleep and fighting to keep awake. Because I wasn't expecting anything to happen, I jumped and sat up when I heard Axel ask if we wanted to get the group together. I rested my hand on his waist where it had already been as I leaned over his side a bit to see his face. The first thing I noticed was that his eyes were closed and I began to vaguely wonder if he had sleep-talked, but I soon saw him open his eye and look at me through the corner of it. "Well?" he asked, clearly waiting for an answer.

I hummed in thought before I nodded. "Yeah... That sounds nice," I replied quietly. I hesitated as I looked down at him, noticing that he had taken his eyes off of me. I sighed softly. I knew that he was hiding his eyes from me so that I couldn't tell just what he was feeling. I shook my head slightly before I crawled off the bed and put my feet firmly on the floor. I looked back at Axel to see that he wasn't moving, but thought nothing of it until I got on my socks and shoes. "C'mon... You wanted to go outside, didn't you?" I asked softly, forcing a smile as I looked at him. Finally, he moved from the bed and began to put on his shoes.

---

A few minutes later, Axel and I were sitting around a bench at the park near my house. The others had decided it was better for them to come here instead of having me run around everywhere with Axel, collecting people. So I had been stuck sitting at the bench until everybody had come. But once I saw the whole group approaching the benches, I moved from my spot and walked over to the tree that Axel had decided to sit under. I sat down beside him and leaned back against the tree, glancing nervously at Hayner's house. That's right... Only Axel and I knew where Hayner lived. Everybody else had no idea that his house was right next to mine. I scooted a bit closer to Axel, feeling suddenly very nervous. But thank _God_ that there were more than 10 people here. In fact, there were thirteen people in all; and that's including me.

I returned my eyes back to the group as they sat around the table and some leaned against the trees that surrounded it. Zexion looked over at me and I quickly tore my eyes away, focusing them on the ground. I listened as the others just spoke around me, each one having a little conversation all of their own. Lexaeus, Vexen, and Zexion were talking about science while Demyx butted in every now and then; Marluxia and Larxene were talking about the best hair products for different things; Xigbar, Xaldin, and Luxord were arguing about whether or not the cards that Gambit used could really kill a person without the powers that Gambit had; Xemnas and Saïx were talking about when the next group 'meeting' should be held; and Axel and I just remained completely silent and in our own little world compared to the others.

I lifted my head as I noticed a form walking towards both Axel and I, instantly noticing the petite form was in fact Zexion. I watched him as he walked towards us two, but I didn't say anything as he squatted down in front of us two. He stared at us for a few moments, glancing between both Axel and I. I began to wonder vaguely what he was doing, but decided that it would be a great thought to keep because he was probably already reading our minds again. Throughout the whole time he looked at us, I said and did nothing but stare back at him and mentally question as to what he was doing. Of course, he gave me no verbal answer, but by the look in his eye, I could tell that he was reading every single little thought and was most likely trying to figure out what exactly to say. I knew exactly what was going through _my_ mind. What was going through Axel's... I was afraid to know.

"You two had sex last night, didn't you?" he asked in a low voice, clearly trying to make sure that the others wouldn't hear him. Which I had mentally thanked him for with an enthusiastic string of 'thank you so much's and 'I will love you forever's and of course, I had to throw in the occasional 'thank God'. But despite my enthusiastic reply to his attitude, I couldn't keep down the blush that rose on my cheeks. I had no idea what to say. My mind was literally drawing a blank. Even the 'thank you's had disappeared for all eternity. "Hm. I see that you're a hollow shell void of all logical intellect and possibly even an interesting conversation," was his reply to my nonexistent thoughts. Though after he had said that... I couldn't help but think that I wasn't all what he had said I was; that I truly _did_ have a logical intelligent and could hold up an interesting conversation. But along with that, I had also put in the fact that he had used 'big words'. "Yes, I use 'big words', as you illiterate individuals call it. But I'm glad your brain finally decided to comprehend my extended vocabulary, which you clearly do not have. Maybe it blew away with the wind along with your conversational skills. Now answer the question."

I hesitated a bit before I sighed and nodded lightly, but I didn't dare say it out loud. Truthfully, I was almost worried that the others would hear our conversation, no matter how quiet we would become. Finally, I decided to speak a bit, though it was barely above a whisper. "It's not like we meant for it to happen. Well, last night we knew, but before that we didn't," I said softly, looking down at the grass and picking at the blades. I heard Zexion hum a bit before he stood and walked away, leaving Axel and I alone once more. I looked up at the others to see that they were pretty much unaware that we were there, but it was pretty understandable, considering that we weren't really at the table that everybody was basing their conversations around.

It stayed that way for a few more hours. My body was in a bit of pain still, but it was mostly a numb pain. I could still feel the grass on my fingers when I played with it, but everything else seemed almost nonexistent. I lifted my head when I heard people say their good-byes and pitched in my own. I was about to stand up, but Axel grabbed my arm and said that we could stay and talk for a while. I agreed and waved as everyone left. I looked over at the redhead, resting my head against the tree trunk. "Well, you wanted us to stay here. What do you want to talk about?" I asked.

He leaned back against the tree and shrugged a bit. "I dunno. You were just being rather quiet. Very quiet," he replied, his eyes fixed on some part of the park across from us. I hummed a bit before I shrugged. "Nothing to talk about, I guess," I stated as I looked back at Axel, who looked straight back at me. I grew curious as to what he was thinking when he gave me an unreadable look. "What would be the one thing you really want to do?" he questioned. "I could be anything; just name it."

I gave him a curious and confused look before I thought about it. There were quite a few things that I wanted to do, but a lot of them consisted of using too much energy. Finally, my mind settled on one that I had for years now. I looked over at Axel again when I noticed that my gaze had drifted. "Go horseback riding. Why?" I replied at last.

He smiled and nodded before he stood up, reaching down to grab my hand. "Then we'll go horseback riding. My brother has a horse ranch out in the country. And because it never gets cold here, we can still go in December if we wanted," he said. I smiled softly and reached up, grabbing his hand. I let him help me up to a standing position, not particularly caring. "Thanks. I would like that," I said softly. He ruffled my hair a bit. "I know you would," he said just as soft as he wrapped his arms loosely around my waist, pulling me closer. I chuckled lightly and stepped forward, resting my head on his chest and closing my eyes. I felt... safe; comfortable, even. I felt a chin rest on the top of my head and I wrapped my arms loosely around his thin waist. I wanted to pull away and look at him when I heard him sigh, but I couldn't due to his chin on my head. "I wish it could stay like this..." I heard him whisper. I hesitated before I wrapped my arms around him tighter, burying my face into his shirt. "Me too... But it can't. We both know that, Axel..." I said softly.

I loosened my grip and pulled away, feeling him loosen his grip as well. "Roxas..." I stopped when I heard his voice and looked up at him. He bent over a bit so that he could press our foreheads together, his hands lifting up and resting on my cheeks. "You don't regret last night... do you?" he asked lightly. What kind of question was that? I smiled softly and shook my head a bit. "Of course I don't regret it. Why would I?" I replied as I reached up to grab his hand. "Now let's go. You need to call your brother and if he lets us go over, we'll have to talk to my mom about me getting out of the house." Axel nodded and pulled away after pressing a kiss to my forehead, but grabbed the hand I had placed over his.

_Time left to live: 3 1/2 months_

**~*****You'll find me climbing to heaven. Never mind. Turn back time. You'll be fine - I will get left behind.*~**


	9. Your Guardian Angel

Over the course of the next two weeks, I actually felt rather happy and content. I no longer feared Hayner and I could actually smile like I meant it. The more I thought of it, the more I realized that it was because I had been opening up a lot more to Axel. I had even told him a lot about my past, which I had never really thought about or talked to anyone about before. I never knew that opening up to someone would relieve a lot pressure and let me relax easily. I still tensed up every time Hayner was mentioned or if I saw him due to the memory, but Axel was always there to calm me down, telling me that he wouldn't let him near me again. But near the end of the two weeks, my good mood went crashing down.

Another doctor's appointment.

I made sure to remain silent as I listened to my mother and the doctor talk outside the door, just like she had when she found out how long I had left to live. Why hadn't she been able find out that her own son had overheard the conversation? Was she really that dense? Then again, I had hid it pretty well, especially now that I was always with Axel and tried not to think about it. Not only did I not want to hurt Axel, but I didn't want to ruin our day. I closed my eyes as I tilted my head down, not bothering to lie down. I was perfectly fine where I was; just sitting here.

I only opened my eyes when I heard the reason behind why I was so weak and growing even weaker. I swore that I could feel my stomach twist into knots at the thought of it. What if Sora…? My stomach untwisted when the doctor assured my mother that my twin was fine. So… it was only me who had this problem… or at least this severe of a problem. Whether or not Sora had the same thing, they didn't know for sure yet. At least he didn't show any signs, save for the sleeping problems. Then again, that could just be because of how much trouble he has getting to sleep at night. I quickly took out the cell phone from my pocket and opened it up when the door had opened, opening up a new text message. I didn't want my mom to know that I had been listening in, so I decided that it would probably be best to text Axel now instead of later. I needed to meet with him, anyway.

"Roxas, let's get going."

I looked up when I heard my mother speak to me just as I pressed the send button. I nodded lightly and stood up, walking over to the woman. "Okay. Axel's gonna come over later. He wants to see if he can help me move around my room again," I said, though I knew it was partially a lie. I had told my mom earlier that I wanted to move my room around so that my bed wasn't near the window, but she had disagreed because she knew I wouldn't let her help me with it. With Axel helping, I was pretty sure she would agree. I sighed lightly when I noticed she was going to object to the idea, but forced a smile anyway. "I'm just gonna tell him where to put it. I'm not going to move anything unless it's a lamp or something small like that," I reassured.

Don't you just _love_ parents sometimes - especially overprotective mothers? Yeah, you just gotta love 'em, huh? Thankfully, she offered a sweet smile and nodded, reaching up to stroke the back of my head lightly. "Okay, Rox. I'll let Axel come over," she said in a soft tone as she led me out of the office by pushing her hand against the base of my neck lightly. Damn, it was almost like she thought I was going to break or something… I was weak, sure, but I wasn't that weak… Still, I remained completely silent and let her lead me wherever she wanted. It wasn't any surprise to me that she had even led me all the way to the passenger's seat and waited for me to sit down myself before she closed the door and went over to the driver's side. Well, I couldn't exactly blame her for being this way, but I still didn't like it… I glanced in her direction before I pulled out my cell phone again, flipping it open to see that I already had a text from Axel.

Only an hour later and I was sitting against the wall with Axel on the other side of the bed. While his feet were flat on the floor and his hands served as something to support himself as he leaned back, my feet were flat on the bed with my hands in my lap. I sighed lightly as I looked out across the room. I already knew where I wanted to put everything, but if I waited a bit longer, I knew that my mother wouldn't let Axel go home because it would be too late. "So… why'd you want me over again?" I heard him ask. I looked over at the redhead to find that his emerald eyes were focused on me. Great… He was looking me strait in the eye… That meant that I couldn't lie easy or even avoid the truth for now. I swear, he could see right through me.

I sighed lightly and shook my head, pushing away from the wall and crossing my legs. "For a few reasons. One, to help me with the room," I began, motioning towards the room. He nodded to let me know to continue. "Two, I went to the doctor's today." Okay, now he seemed interested. Without waiting for any real response, I decided to continue. "They figured out what exactly is making me weak. It's a new blood disease cause by a mutation, is what they said. According to them, one of the cells didn't divide right and kept multiplying to the point that it wasn't as simple as going in and fixing it. It wasn't noticeable when you look at the DNA because it almost seems like nothing's wrong. They say that Sora doesn't have it because it most likely happened after we had split into two. So… it's nobody's fault," I explained softly.

A moment of silence slipped between us before Axel finally sighed and looked away, his gaze focusing on the ground. Just by the expression, I could see that he had realized that it wasn't as simple as just 'fixing me'. This wasn't something that could be reversed or cured. It couldn't even be destroyed. It was in my blood. I would have to be someone completely different in order to have it out of me. "So… There's nothing anybody could do. You're going to just… die. Like that," he said softly, though I could tell that he had to force the words out of his mouth.

I didn't hesitate to uncross my legs and crawl over to him, sitting down next to him with my legs folded under me. I reached over and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm sorry…" was the only thing I could whisper before I buried my head into his shoulder. I felt a strong hand grab my shoulder tightly, but not hard enough to hurt it. I soon found myself pulled into his lap with his arms around me. I moved my arms down to his waist, hugging him there instead due to the fact that it was easier with how small I was compared to him.

The grip on me tightened and I stroked his back lightly to help calm him down so he wouldn't cry. There was no way I wanted him to cry, especially not now. I felt multiple kisses on my head and my cheek and even a few on my shoulder. I could tell that he was trying to pour out every single emotion he felt in every single one of the small kisses. When they finally stopped, I could hear a small whisper right next to my right ear, "I love you too much… I don't want to lose you…"

I buried my head into his chest again, no longer trying to rub his back. Instead, I tightened my grip on his waist, though I still felt a bit weak. "I know…" I whispered softly. I remained completely still and silent as I waited for Axel to calm down, letting him kiss my head as much as he wanted and hold me as long as he wanted to. Only after I felt his chin rest on the top of my head for only a few more moments did I finally loosen my grip and pull away. "I'll be fine for now. I still have a while. And maybe it's as you said a while ago; I might have longer than what the doctors give me," I said with a small smile, trying to cheer up the one I felt… attached to. (Yes, I still won't say that I love him. I'm not even sure if it's gotten to that point yet.) Thankfully, this worked to a certain point. I returned the gentle kiss he gave me in return to what I had said, actually satisfied when he pulled away a few seconds later. I carefully crawled off of his lap and looked out the window to see that the sun was finally setting.

I looked down at him and watched as he stood up as well. "Y'know… If we take long enough moving everything around, my mom will let you stay over, even if tomorrow is a school day," I hinted.

He raised an eyebrow before he smirked and leaned down to kiss my forehead lightly. "Only if she doesn't know about us yet. Or else she might make me sleep on the couch like she did to Riku," I heard.

I laughed lightly as I looked up at him, shaking my head. "Of course she doesn't know. I haven't told her yet and don't plan to anytime soon. As far as she knows, I'm just cuddly in my sleep and you're a very nice person," I replied with a smile. After a small laugh from the both of us, we both got to work with moving around my room. Though to make sure that he wouldn't have to go home tonight, we had little 'disagreements' or 'misunderstandings' of how the room should be rearranged.

Thankfully, this had worked and we had only moved my desk and the dresser when my mom had come in and asked if Axel wanted to stay for dinner. After he agreed and we both went down for dinner, she had suggested that he stayed for the night because 'it was getting dark out' and she 'didn't want anything to happen to him'. Yes, she knew how old Axel was. Yes, she knew he was a junior in high school. Still, in her mind, he was still in high school and wouldn't let anything happen to him while he was under her care. Though to make sure that 'nothing would happen', she made both Riku and Sora walk Axel and I to the redhead's house.

"What? No way! I didn't do that! You're lying, Riku!" Sora accused for what seemed the tenth time that night as we all walked down the street. Again, both Axel and I let out a laugh as Riku went into a very detailed description on how Sora had fallen asleep during a test and drooled over the whole entire paper. Though Riku was saying things that Sora disagreed to that were soon proved to be true, their hands were still conjoined in the comfortable way they had ever since they had started dating out in the open.

I sighed lightly as Sora still tried to prove Riku wrong – only to fail. I chuckled lightly as I listened to how Riku had hit Sora's back multiple times with random pieces of crumpled paper, some of which had gotten stuck in Sora's hair. No matter how much Sora tried to say that he wasn't asleep and just ignoring Riku, it didn't work. "Sora, just give it up already. I was there. I was Mrs. Swan's helper for the day, anyway. Even I threw a few things at you, which is why you found the pencil eraser down the back of your shirt," I said as I rolled my eyes. I laughed at the open-mouthed expression I got from my brother, but didn't say anything about it. Just before he could retort, Riku quickly stepped in and kissed the other just to shut him up. I silently thanked Riku for his good deed when he pulled away and looked at me when Sora quickly focused his attention to the ground he was walking on. Though it was dark, I could see the traces of a bright blush on my twin's face.

I paused when we finally came to Axel's apartment, looking up at him in silence. Was I supposed to go in…? My silent question was answered when it pulled out a key and motioned for all of us to follow him. "Reno's at the ranch. Both him and Rufus quit the Home Depot job and decided to focus more on the ranch ever since Grandpa passed away last month," he said as he unlocked the door and walked inside, flipping on the lights. "Sorry if it seems a bit empty. Not used to having all his stuff gone."

I hummed a bit when I realized that it looked a lot bigger than what I had originally thought. From the outside, it looked like one of those small, crappy apartments. But with how this was on the inside, it seemed like a very nice apartment with newly painted walls, a non-leaky water system, and every electric outlet looked like it was in perfect condition. To say the least, I was thoroughly surprised. Sure, I hadn't expected Axel to live in something very crappy, but that was what I had thought when I looked at the outside. "Rufus gave us a lot of money to help with buying everything to fix this place up. With permission from the owners, we were able to fix just about everything about it," I heard Axel say.

I nodded lightly and followed the redhead into the bedroom, noticing that the bed was merely a twin-sized bed. With how tall he was, I highly doubted he would be able to fit in it… Then again, Axel did seem to curl up in his sleep, seeing as how he had curled up around me every time he had slept over. I looked behind me to see that Sora and Riku had went off to explore the apartment. Looks like I'd have to explore it later… I looked over at Axel again, walking over to his bed and sitting down. "How long have you had this?" I asked. "I remember you living a few blocks away."

"You also haven't been to my house in a few months, Rox," he reminded. "Reno and I got this place only a month ago. He's been working his ass off to fix it up. This is what I've been busy with."

I looked around the room, finding a few articles of clothing on the floor. "Okay, then… That makes sense," I said with a small smile. I waited until he was done getting together everything he needed before I got off the bed and followed him out the door, though we had to find Sora and Riku first. To Axel's surprise (but not to mine), we had found them spraying each other with the showerhead in Axel's bathroom. Well, it was more of Sora spraying Riku, but then Riku had grabbed it from him right when we walked in and decided to drench Sora as well. So much to the discomfort of Sora and Riku, we walked home with the two soaking wet. Thankfully, it wasn't all that cold outside because it never really became that cold in Twilight Town.

After getting back to my house, Sora and Riku had changed into their sleep wear, as did Axel and I. Because of how tired I had felt, I ended up going to bed earlier than usual. And of course, Axel had gone to sleep around the same time I had, curling up around me and holding me protectively. The next morning was chaotic. Axel and I had both gotten tangled up in the covers and ended up wrestling each other and the blankets at the same time just to get out. Of course, this was only after we had fallen into a heap of tangled limbs and covers on the floor. The rest of the morning was rushed as my mom tried to rush four teenagers out the door, two of which who wanted to do nothing but rough house and wrestle each other in the living room for the TV remote. Two others were only spectators and laughed at the scene and the random shouts of 'get your ass out of my face' or 'that's my foot, thank you'.

By the time we had finally gotten out the door, we knew we all were going to be late if we didn't hurry. Because I couldn't exactly keep up, Axel ended up carrying me on his back and still beat both Sora and Riku, though the two decided to have a wrestling match in the middle of the sidewalk. The prize? A piece of toast that was previously Riku's. Class had been uneventful, though I felt rather uncomfortable due to all the glances sent my way. I knew I had passed out on a few occasions, but I didn't think that I had attracted that much attention.

I looked up from my work as I heard the bell for class to end and lunch to begin. I was almost done with my homework, too… Oh well… Looks like I would have to finish it at home. I collected all of my things and stored it in my bag, standing up. I walked out of the classroom and down the hallway, but paused when I noticed a group I was planning on walking by had stopped talking and all the members were looking directly at me. I hesitated a bit before I opened my mouth to say something.

"Hey, aren't you the one who had sex with the junior hottie, Axel?" one of the girls' asked.

My words died in my throat instantly as I heard those words. How had they found out about that…? That had happened almost two weeks ago. The only person who knew was Axel, but I knew that he wouldn't just go off and tell people that. Oh wait… But there was still Zexion… Zexion knew. I frowned deeply as I realized this and shook my head. "No. You got the wrong person," I said before I began to walk towards the lunchroom again.

I was almost near the end of the hallway, but let out a short yell when I was suddenly pulled into one of the classrooms and slammed against the wall. My eyes widened as I realized that the one pinning me to the wall was Hayner, reaching up to try to pry his hands away from his shirt. I could tell just by the look in his eyes that he wasn't going to just let me get out. "I heard that you had sex with that Axel guy. The one you were with when you broke up with me," he said rather calmly, though I could tell by the glare he was giving me that this just wasn't the case. "Is that true, _Roxas_?"

My stomach twisted when I heard the way that he had said my name. It almost sounded like he was spitting out a fowl word… I definitely didn't like the sound of this… "I-" I began, but was instantly cut off when I felt a fist slam into my gut, causing all the air to be pushed out of me and made me even cough a bit.

"Is that true or _not_?! _Answer me, damnit!_"

I let out a shout as I was thrown to the side, my sides aching from where I hit the desks as I hit the ground. Without hesitating another moment, I scrambled to my feet and darted tot eh other door, pushing it open and sprinting out. I ran through the hallways as fast as I could, hearing Hayner call for me to come back. I knew that he wouldn't target me if I was in a large group – and that's exactly what I did. I darted down the stairs, slowing when I was in the middle of the large mass of people that gathered underneath the stairs. I looked around as I heard my name being repeated over and over again only to realize that I wasn't being talked to; I was being talked about. I felt tears in my eyes as I heard exactly what they were talking about; what had happened only a few weeks ago.

I didn't know if the tears were from anger or from betrayal, but damn did it hurt. I ran for the courtyard, where I knew everyone would be waiting for me. I pushed open the door, but instantly ran into something when I stepped out into the blinding light of the day. I felt strong arms around me and I instantly began to struggle, trying to get away from whoever it was. I let out frustrated growls as I tried, ignoring the voice speaking to me. Only when I had recognized the tone had I finally stopped struggling and clung to the thin figure. I buried my head into his chest and shook. "Z-Zexion. He told them. H-he told them, Axel," I stuttered.

I felt myself being lifted as he carried me down the steps and to the ground next to the steps, sitting down and setting me in his lap as he held me close. "No, he didn't. He already talked to me about this. He's not one to lie," he said softly as he stroked my hair. "It's alright. Calm down. As far as anyone knows, it's just rumor."

I shook my head. "N-no. It's not a-alright. I-i-it's not… He's after me. He wants me dead. I-I saw it in his eyes," I got out as my tears calmed down a bit. I still knew that I was shaking, but I knew now it was because of fear; fear that Hayner would kill me. I didn't even know if he truly wanted me dead, but I sure as hell feared it. "I-I want to go. I want to get out of here…" I said softly as I buried my head into Axel's chest.

I felt my hair move as he stroked the back of my head, a small kiss planted on the top of my head soon after. "Shh. It's alright. I'll take you home," he said.

I nodded. "Please…" I whispered. Next thing I knew, I was being carried towards the truck I had grown rather accustomed to. He set me carefully into the passenger seat and made sure that nobody was around before he went off to go tell the teachers that I would be going home to rest. I made sure to lie down in the seats, though I found it hard and uncomfortable because of the armrest in the middle. Still, I felt like I needed to do this in order to hide. I closed my eyes when I finally felt too weak from crying, unknowingly falling quickly asleep.

**~*Axel's POV*~**

I quickly raced down the halls, going to every teacher I knew that the blonde I loved so much had. I knew that he needed to get away from anything. The stress on his body would be too much to bear at this point. I told all of the teachers Roxas had that he would be going home before I made my way towards the car. I paused, however, when I noticed Hayner standing near the door to one of Roxas' classes. Wasn't that the one he was supposed to go to when he got back from lunch? I let out a deep sigh before I walked towards the blonde and tugged him away from the door. "Tell me what the fuck you're trying to do to Roxas," I said though gritted teeth, glaring harshly at the smaller boy I was holding. I knew by the look on his face just how tightly I was holding his arm, but I didn't care. At least I knew that he wouldn't try to get away; he couldn't, anyway.

I frowned even more when he didn't answer. I tugged on his arm a bit, causing the boy to wince. "Tell me what the fuck you're trying to do, Hayner!" I shouted. "His body is weak enough as it is! More stress of any kind on him would mean death for him! Is that what you really want? For Roxas to just _die_?"

Hayner looked up at my with a small smirk. "Maybe that's just what he needs. The spoiled little brat… He doesn't deserve anything," he spat out. I felt my blood boil and I knew my short temper wasn't exactly in check. Still, I had enough self control to stop myself when I wanted to speak, seeing as how he had more to say. "The only thing he deserves for what he's done is death. Or at least people looking down upon him."

That made me snap completely. I pushed him against the lockers of the school hallway, keeping him there by grabbing the front of his shirt. "You're a filthy, selfish bastard. So what if you can't have what you want? Roxas may not deserve his sickness, but he definitely deserves those who could support him. You're the one who lost Roxas. He did nothing to you. Don't ever expect to see Roxas again," I said in a menacing tone. I let go of his shirt and quickly pushed through the crowd that had gathered around Hayner and I, ignoring all of the comments and questions. Thankfully, I was left alone.

I stormed all the way out to the parking lot, though I forced myself to calm down. I didn't want to scare Roxas to make him think that I had done something. I paused when I found that there was nobody in the window. My stomach twisted and I ran towards the truck, my eyes widening when I found Roxas laid across the two seats. I opened the door and quickly pulled the blonde into an upright position, but let out a soft sigh when I noticed that he was just sleeping. I pressed a small kiss to the other's forehead before I buckled him up. "Don't ever scare me like that again…" I whispered softly.

I closed the door carefully and walked to the driver's side, climbing inside. I gave Roxas a small glance to make sure he didn't wake up before I started up the car and headed towards Roxas' house. First thing to do was to convince his mother that it was best to take Roxas somewhere to protect him. I made sure to make the ride a smooth one to not wake the sleeping blonde and hadn't even noticed when I had parked outside of his house. It had taken a bit, but I had finally convinced his mother to let me take him to the ranch. Because she knew that he might not come back, she said her farewells to the other now rather than later, which I didn't mind too much. I wish that Roxas didn't have that little of a life left, but… it was unavoidable… I sighed lightly as I got back into the truck, knowing that both mine and the other's stuff were in the back.

**~*Roxas' POV*~**

Right when I stepped through the door, I was told that there was no internet service yet and the cell phones barely worked because there were no towers around. I didn't really mind it. At least now I knew that there was no way that Hayner would find me. The only thing I worried about was Sora and my mom. I had been told that I would be staying here for a while and Reno had even planned to get internet service soon so that I could try to complete schooling, though I knew that I wouldn't get through this year of schooling at all. It was only a lost cause.

I followed Axel up the room that was to be mine, sitting down on the bed as Axel set down the suitcases my mother had packed full of clothes and things I loved to do. She had even given Axel a full bag of artwork and sketchbooks along with all of my art supplies. I smiled lightly as I took in a deep breath. I loved the smell of this place… It had a nice, wooden smell to it. Not like the rotten wood type of thing, but a nice, soft smell that was very relaxing and something I could easily get used to. I could also smell clean cotton and with the breeze that rolled in, I could smell the green pastures that the horses had grazed in. I lay down on the bed and hugged the pillow, burying my head into it and taking a deep breath. Even the pillows had a nice, cotton-y smell to them… I opened my eyes and pulled my head away from the pillow when I heard the redhead speak.

"Like it?"

I smiled slightly as I sat up, looking at Axel as he sat in the wooden chair at the desk. "Yeah. It's all made of wood. It smells nice," I said as I looked around. No matter how hard I looked, I could only see everything made out of wood and metal screws. There weren't even any tiles in the bottom area of the house, which surprised me. The only places with anything different were the bathrooms and the kitchen. Even then, it still fit the whole style of the house. I absolutely loved it. I stood up and followed Axel out of the bedroom when he motioned for me to follow, curiously following him out of the house completely and towards a barn. My eyes widened as I heard the sounds of snorts and hooves against rock. I could instantly tell by sights, smells, and sounds around me exactly what this was.

I looked towards Axel when I noticed that he was looking at me and knew instantly that I had a large grin on my face. Sure, Axel had told me that his brother had a ranch, but I didn't think that I'd be seeing all of the horses so soon. Truth be told, I had a weak spot for horses. I found them very powerful and beautiful creatures; something I could easily envy and wish I could be. "Well? Go ahead and choose one to ride. All of them are trained and are friendly," the redhead said as he motioned towards the stalls.

I nodded and walked between the stalls slowly, looking inside each and every stall at the horses inside. I paused when I noticed one had stuck its head outside of the stall and began to bob its head up and down, as if trying to tell me to come closer. I walked up to the horse carefully and examined it, reaching forward to stroke the brown hair and then stroke the black mane. It seemed smaller than the other horses, but it seemed lively and powerful. I could tell that it was an Arabian horse, judging by its broad forehead and how high the tail was held. "What about this one?" I asked. "He seems to like me." Just at that moment, the young stallion nudged my shoulder as if confirming my beliefs.

Axel laughed lightly as he walked over to the young stallion. "Sure, he's a friendly one. He was just broke recently, actually. Reno named him Amjad, which means 'more glorious' in Arabic," he said as he motioned for me to get out of the way. I stepped back and let him lead the stallion out of the stall. Next thing I knew, I was sitting upon the horse with the reigns in my hands and I was following Axel out into the pasture. He had given me a quick lesson about how to ride a horse, though I had learned a lot on my own within a short amount of time. I glanced at the black Friesian that Axel had ridden ever since he himself had broke it, awed by how beautiful the coat looked. Reno sure did take great care of these horses…

"We're gonna go a bit faster. It's really fun when you're actually galloping," I heard the other say. I hesitated only for a moment before I nodded and let out a small 'okay'. When the Friesian picked up speed, I gently kicked Amjad's sides to tell him to go into a trot, though I made sure not to hurt the stallion's back and still stay on at the same time. I continued to command Amjad to pick up speed until we were at a gallop, a large grin forming on my face as I relaxed into it. I couldn't believe the feeling. It was almost like flying.

I laughed lightly, but let out a shout when Axel led both of the horses over a fallen log near the forest. I sighed when I managed to stay on, though I didn't let the experience get to me too much. My smile grew even more as I looked down at the grass momentarily, watching as it quickly flew past us as the horses' hooves pounded against the earth. I looked ahead of us again, but my smile instantly faded when I noticed that Axel was looking back at me and not even looking where he was leading the Friesian. Without thinking about it, I shouted, "Axel, watch out!"

Axel quickly realized where he was headed and grabbed the reigns, pulling on them. I knew that the horse wouldn't be able to stop in time and urged Amjad to go faster. I grabbed the reigns from Axel and tugged the Friesian lightly in one direction to make it turn, careful to turn Amjad at the same time. I soon pulled on Amjad's reigns to get him to slow down, though I was careful not to pull on them too much as well. I sighed as I looked over at Axel, shaking lightly. "D-Don't do that. Watch where you're going," I said softly, a small smile coming to my face when I realized that he was at least okay.

My smile instantly faded when part of the ground near the cliff I had stopped Axel and the Friesian from falling off of had given way, causing both horse and rider to panic. I quickly steered Amjad away, but realized that it was too quickly. While it may have been only a foot that had slipped that the Friesian had quickly righted, Amjad was definitely spooked. I held on as tight as I could when the horse reared up onto its back legs and kicked wildly in the air, though I hadn't realized my mistake.

Amjad began to buck, clearly not liking the feeling of me so panicked. All I knew was that my hearing had failed out on me, though I was trying hard to fall off. I couldn't even hear Axel trying to calm Amjad down. When the horse had finally calmed down, I lost control of my body and went completely limp, falling out of the saddle. I could dully feel my side hit the ground, but I felt way too numb to know whether or not I was injured. I could hear my slowed breathing and heart rate along with far-away shouts. My vision faded in and out, first focused on the grass and then on Axel's worried green eyes.

"Roxas, answer me!" was the first thing I heard when I could finally make out what was being said.

Slowly, my senses came back to me, though I felt weaker than ever and I knew I wouldn't be able to get my heart rate back up. After a few more shouts from Axel, I was finally able to reply, though I could only murmur his name at first. Everything went quiet as my hearing came back completely, though I could hear both of the horses breathing. "I… I can't move…" I said softly, noticing that my eyes were half-lidded already. I knew that wasn't a good sign and it was only a sign of my body shutting down from all the stress from everything recently, but I couldn't do anything to reverse it. I closed my eyes when I felt a kiss on my forehead and a few teardrops on my cheeks, though they weren't my own.

I could feel Axel slowly rock back and forth as I tried to regain my strength, noticing that I was cradled in his arms like I was a lot when he held me in the courtyard. I moved my head so that it rested against Axel's chest. I reached up and grabbed hand that rested on my chest, though I could tell that it wasn't a strong grip. "I love you, Axel…" I whispered softly. I knew that it was true. I also knew that I most likely wouldn't make it this time. I let a few tears of my own fall as I heard the redhead sob loudly, tightening my grip as best as I could on his hand. I could feel my senses fading again only to return and slowly fade. "Don't cry… Please," I said as I closed my eyes. "I'll see you again. Someday. I promise."

I dully felt a pair of warm lips pressed against mine and I did my best to return the kiss, though it was gone soon after. I opened my eyes to look at the redhead, though I could hardly do that. I felt my body go limp as my senses faded away completely.

**~*Axel's POV*~**

My eyes widened as I noticed that the blue eyes were now dulled, feeling the tears come even more. I lifted a shaky a hand to close the other's eyes carefully before I pressed a kiss against Roxas' forehead. "I'm sorry…" I whispered. I had brought him here to protect him. I had brought him here to make him happy. I had brought him here so this exact thing wouldn't happen so soon. But I had only ended up killing him… I felt the tears flow even more freely as I held the blonde closer to me, burying my head into his shoulder. I knew he would never come back.

---

Three months had passed since the death of the one I cherished the most. Many people blamed me, but I truthfully didn't care. Even I thought it was true. I was the one who had brought him there. I was the one driving the same truck I sat in now, staring blankly at the stoplight. I sighed lightly as I closed my eyes. But of course, that same face just came to my sight; the one with sun-kissed skin, bright blue eyes, a round face framed by blonde hair, a soft smile, and even softer lips. I jumped as I heard a honk behind me and noticed that the light had turned green. I quickly moved my foot to the gas pedal, though I made sure not to start off too fast.

It had been this long and I still couldn't get him off of my mind. No one before had ever gotten that close to me. I had never allowed it. Nor did I allow myself to get so close to someone else. But Roxas… Roxas was special. He was someone I wanted to protect forever. He was someone I felt especially attached to, like I had known him even before I had met him a few years back. These feelings weren't new, even if I had realized them suddenly one day.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I felt arms around me, my eyes widening at the sight of a large brick building coming towards me at a fast rate. I slammed as hard as I could on the brakes, but couldn't slow down. I closed my eyes tightly as the truck slammed right into the strong structure, knowing instantly that my life would be over. But when I opened my eyes, that seemed not to be the case. The airbag was deployed and the car was pretty damn totaled now, but I didn't seem to have any injuries. Nothing hurt. I hesitated as I looked at my arms. Nothing. I carefully pulled myself out of the car when I noticed that it had flown off after the impact, climbing out and looking myself over. Nothing. I then looked at the driver's seat and froze as I noticed the body there. I could instantly tell by the red hair that it was my own. I fell to my knees and trembled as I looked at the body in the car, jumping as I felt arms wrap around me from behind. I looked over my shoulder to see the face that had been haunting me for the past three months. "R-Roxas…" I stuttered, not believing my eyes. My breath hitched in my throat when I saw bright blue orbs look at me through the corner of his eyes to acknowledge that he was actually there.

I felt the tears coming again and instantly turned around, wrapping my arms around his waist as he sat back, burying my head into his chest as I cried. "I-I thought I'd never see you again!" I shouted when I was able to speak again, feeling a hand stroke my hair lightly. This was real… This wasn't fake. This wasn't just another dream of him. He was actually here. While his body may have not been, he was definitely here.

**~*Roxas' POV*~**

I kissed the top of the redhead's head lightly as I stroked his hair to help calm him down, letting him cry into my chest. I didn't particularly like seeing him crying like this, but I had to deal with it for now and just help him. "I'm sorry. I tried to protect you. I guess I failed," I said softly as I gently rested one of my hands on his upper back. I looked up when I heard an ambulance coming towards us, but looked back at Axel when I felt him move, finding that I was soon looking into emerald eyes. I smiled against the kiss he soon gave, returning it happily and willingly. I let him deepen the kiss when I felt his lips part, returning it with as much emotion as he put into it. I opened my eyes when I felt him pull away, looking at him with a small smile.

"I would rather die than to not see you again, Roxas," he replied at last, delivering another kiss to my lips.

I chuckled lightly and broke the kiss before he could deepen it. "You sound so cheesy. Though I am glad you feel that way," I said before I pulled away from him and stood up, pulling him to his feet as well. I paused when I noticed that his eyes widened, but then realized that I was higher than he was. I glanced over at my shoulder at the pair of white wings coming from my back. "I failed at protecting you. But I gave you what you wanted. So I didn't fail completely," I said as I looked back at him.

I focused my gaze on the ambulance coming towards the truck, lowering myself to the ground again. I looked up at Axel when I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders. "It's too late," he said. "I'm with him now. There's no way I'm going back." I smiled lightly at Axel's words and wrapped my arm around his waist, closing my eyes as I rested my head against the other's side.

If this was how it was going to be after I had died, then I'm perfectly fine with it. As cheesy as it sounds, as long as Axel's here with me, I'll even defy Heaven to protect him; to protect us. I am, after all, his guardian angel. I exist to make him happy. I won't fail. I'll never fail. It may be the end of our human lives, but for every ending, there's a new beginning. And this is just the beginning of our new lives; our new story.

**~*I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with forever. I'll be there for through it all. Even if saving you sends me to heaven.*~**

_AC: O-kay, so that's the end of this story! XD Or is it? O.o I think I'll leave that up for you to decide~. If I do end up making more to this, it'll probably be another story. Unless you guys want it in the same story. Then the guys who don't want to read more about Axel's and Roxas' new lives (if I end up doing that) can just stop here! XD *ahem* I am happy with his story. I know that my writing style has changed for this chapter; I'm sorry. I got some tips from another author and decided to go with them for the rest of my stories._

_Oh. If I do more of this story, the beliefs won't be like Christianity. I have my own views on the whole guardian angel thing that I would like to do someday. Whether or not it's this story, I don't know yet. So if you think 'oh, a Christian' when you look at the word 'angel' here, it's not gonna be that way. I already have a plan for the 'angels'. I just use the term cause it's a common name for 'winged beings who are dead and have feathered wings'. Besides, it's a pretty name. ^^_

Also! Thank you guys so much for the awesome comments! 8D You guys have certainly made me smile, although I had went with my original plan and killed Roxas. XD But at least Axel died too, right?


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